• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 80 subscribers
  • Views 2581 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Anxiety over women and my 'natural urges'

StephenHarris

I have a particular anxiety over women in a state of undress... to wit pretty much showing any skin at all... (the current crop top fashion has not helped).

For example, if I'm walking past Victoria's Secret (who is this Victoria lady anyway? She's useless at keeping secrets, that's for sure), I'll look at the pictures of the models in the window... then feel guilty for doing so.

I'm still a virgin as well... but I want to get married and have sex... but I fear I'll never meet anyone and that I'm ugly.

Sometimes, I think I should just have my testicles removed as I'll never use them and they just cause me problems...

Any advice?

  • A further update on this. I talked to my psychiatrist and she kept me on the venlafaxine. She also recommended that I 'shake hands with the unemployed', as it were, to help with my sexual hang ups and deal with the seminal discharge issue.

    This has helped a bit, but has presented other issues.

  • laddie49 said:

    Hi Stephen,

    Based on what you have said I recommend you speak to whoever prescribed your medication and tell him/her everything you are experiencing.

    Take care, Laddie.

    I am seeing my GP on Wednesday - he will hopefully have my report and try to be taken off Venlafaxine.

    One side effect is having is that I'm not having normal 'wet dreams' - instead my semen discharge is coming out in more solid lumps when I'm defaecating and I can spend 10+ minutes waiting for all it to come out...

  • Hi Stephen,

    Based on what you have said I recommend you speak to whoever prescribed your medication and tell him/her everything you are experiencing.

    Take care, Laddie.

  • Hi Tom,

    What is the difference between an SSRI and an SNRI?  I will google that.

    Good to hear your Mum is home and comfortable. Sorry Stephen to hijack your thread.

    My experience with SSRI medication is that it causes side effects, and I would be interested to hear how it affected you Stephen?

    Tom, the Huffington Post article is one person's view and not one I recognise.

    Laddie.

  • Hi Stephen, Just noticed your post on another thread about the side effects of your medication.

    Is that an SSRI?

    Laddie.

  • Hi Stephen, Thanks for the info about your age. You are well past puberty so unless you have any medical problems you are familiar with how a man's body works.

    Your testicles are designed for reproductive purposes, to produce the sperm needed to fertilise an egg from a potential partner via sexual intercourse or these days it can be done artificially in a laboratory. The urges you are experiencing are therefore perfectly natural and without them none of us would exist. From time to time unless you masturbate regularly,  nocturnal dreams will occur and the excess unused sperm will be ejaculated from your body in a completely natural way. There is no need for you to feel guilty about this therfore despite anything you have heard or been told as a member of the CoE or elsewhere. As I indicated above the trick is to manage those desires in accordance with the norms of the society we live in and not to act inappropriately.

    I really do reccomend you obtain Steve Biddulph's book because it will help you to understand what society currently expects from men. Although the goal posts seem to be moving since I was your age, for the better in the main.

    What you are experiencing is common amongst all men of your age including those with ASD.

    Take care, Laddie.

  • laddie49 said:

    I reccomend "Manhood" by Steve Biddulph. There is a good chapter in there about "coralling the stallion" . And don't listen to "The Donald" ha ha.

    I was once told by my ex-wife its OK to have fantasies as long as you don't act on them.

    I talk in my sleep you see so she listened to my dreams.

    How old are you if you don.t mind me asking?

    Laddie.

    I'm 30. Also, my vicar isn't the most approachable of people.

  • Have you thought of speaking to your Vicar?

    Laddie.

  • I have been diagnosed with ASD. I tried online dating on a Christian dating site (as a practising CofE member, a relationship with a non-Christian is going to cause too many issues), but with little real success. Couldn't find anyone suitable there who was interested in me.

  • Worth a try Stephen.

    I mean I know what it's like to see attractive women who you would like to get to know but it might be better to meet someone who has something in common with you and can appreciate what it's like to be on the spectrum.

    In the end though, you're gonna have to take the initiative because nobody will come knocking on your door.

  • I reccomend "Manhood" by Steve Biddulph. There is a good chapter in there about "coralling the stallion" . And don't listen to "The Donald" ha ha.

    I was once told by my ex-wife its OK to have fantasies as long as you don't act on them.

    I talk in my sleep you see so she listened to my dreams.

    How old are you if you don.t mind me asking?

    Laddie.