Self diagnosed Aspie

random said:

It affects everyone differently, am I have been surprised to see how others on the spectrum have been able to build relationships

Did you see the Horizon programme with Uta Frith? It showed a couple of people with Aspergers who had hooked up on the internet and were moving in together. Theirs was a more functional relationship than an emotional one. It was clearly working for both of them but wasn't conventional lovey-dovey at all. They understood each other and had set their expectations and allowances for each other accordingly.

Hi guys, thanks very much for all these replies.  Much appreciated.  Hi G.G.  I got more detail from reading The Complete Gide to A.S by Tony Attwood.  I always came out ok in the tests and had not the slightest inkling of what was going on until i got to the A.A.A and got the shock of my life.  Then i read the book and it was my life story.  I have to say it was an enormous effort as a teeneger to try and appear N.T.  I have put a lot of effort into that over the years without knowing what i was dealing with.  I could go on with all sorts of stories in true Aspie fashion but will save you, lol!  I've bent many ears over the last week!  Yes, relationships have been difficult for me as well.  I'm just trying to watch the Aspie aspects when they appear and see if i can move them gently in a more positive direction.  I'm also seeing how much effort is going into being N.T so i can let the go a bit without becoming completely strange.  Maybe eccentric with some more energy and less tension.  All very interesting.  Great to chat.  Thanks again.  

Hi Robin,

Yes, what you have said rings true for many undiagnosed adults, just that you have had more experience to develop coping strategies for yourself. I was diagnosed last year at 49, my intention for doing that was to get some more help with counsueling for my anxiety and depression. I have found in past few years, I have been less able to cope in general. I think that has been partly down to pressures on modern living, and how aspergers is evolving as I grow older. I am finding telephone conversations increasingly difficult, I can do them, but it takes a lot of emotional effort to get through it. 

I am still fighting for the extra support and it has been over six months since my diagnosis. I think in general I am glad I got the diagnosis, I scored borderline on the online tests, but my diagnosis has shown that I am well past that level. 

I wish I had the diagnosis much earlier in life, I have had extreme difficulties building relationships, to the point I have mostly been alone. I managed to start 3 relationships but if you add the length of all them together it is under a year.

It affects everyone differently, am I have been surprised to see how others on the spectrum have been able to build relationships

Random

Hi Robin,

If you have the traits but don't have significant issues then you probably wouldn't get a diagnosis. A diagnosis indicates that you have a condition that needs assistance or special treatment. I caught a section of the Horizon programme a few days ago where Simon Baron Cohen explained this particular question.

A score of 24 is consistent with you having traits but probably managing well enough not to warrant diagnosis. E.g. perhaps you cope relatively well with social situations even if you aren't on the same wavelength as most people.

I managed for 56 years before I absolutely needed diagnosis - a change of circumstances (e.g. work) can precipitate issues that may have been just about under control. I also score around the 40 mark on the test so I probably have had more issues over the years than someone who is managing better.

I feel the same ... the more I learn about my sons the more convinced I have autism myself.  I looked at aspergerstest.net and scored over 30 which reaffirmed my suspicions even more.  Just not sure what to do ... I function well in life and manage at work ... I live with anxiety which I actively try to deal with.  I'm just not sure whether to pursue a diagnosis or carry on as I am.

Thanks, Evie but i'm tending to go with with what clovis is saying.  I lived with it and got by for nearly 50 years.  Not sure what they will be able to offer me.

i dont believe its ever too late to get help,my hubby was only diagnosed 12 yrs ago with bipolar disorder after spending 30 yrs wondering why he always thought different to others and done crazy things but felt sad other times,,,believe me the help hes recieved since then was worth us going to the doctor he is also treated for ptsd so all in all a good idea,please dont worry over yr age if u truly believe that is u and it answers all those questions from all them years then get yrself to the doctor and get referred i believe u will get the help u need in order to then help yr son good luck!its worth doing