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Understanding peoples behaviour and not being a victim.

Arkx6

So there are nasty people out there on the net, ignorant people... People who would target someone for having a disability like ASD...i ve been interacting with one on some nasty forum recently while trying to understand a part of me. Ive been bullied and targetted for my behaviour before i was diagnosed with Aspergers. Had a whole team of people complain about my behaviour in the workplace before my diagnosis.

At 6'1 with some martial arts background im not afraid of meeting these individuals face to face anymore, still my ordeals have been verbal and emotional in nature and none the less painful. 

Now i find myself with a rather dismal view of people after all i've been through. I try and understand people Who have bullied me etc in an attempt to learn from the experience so it doesnt happen again. But all i 'learn' is how nasty people can be to those who are different like me and the more i think about the behaviour the more stressed i become.

A therapist said i internalise the nasty people i have met in my life, so instead of moving on i carry them around with me.

Ive started working out again and im going to practice my martial arts again...i dont want to be a victim.

How have others adapted and dealt with being bullied because of their ASD?

What are your thoughts on what i have said?

Cheers

  • I have to say its really good to hear im not alone in suffering because of being targeted for their ASD...its not just me these things are happening to. I still dont know how to handle bullies or how to even recognise whats going on quickly enough. 

    Im hoping to do a course thats for autistic people to help with these important skills so fingers crossed. 

    I think interacting with others here etc as Classic Codger was saying will shine some light on this subject for me.

    :)

  • Simply put (may be more difficult in practice), I find separating yourself from things and focusing on yourself and your friends might be helpful. If you can avoid the bullies that is, and remember, you'll at some point never see them again anyway, after a while no matter what you do in life, people go their separate ways, so focus on yourself and your friends.

  • I would reiterate this. NT often just don't understand how hurtful their remarks can be. It is because of the invisible nature of autism and other related conditions. People should not assume anything. I had an unfortunate experience that I mentioned on another thread. I get judged a lot because of problems with spatial skills. Because I don't look disabled, people wrongly attribute my problems, and they come out with hurtful remarks. It is hard for me to trust people because of this. 

  • Hi Arkx6. You are, of course, entirely correct when you talk about the targeting that we are subject to. Your experiences are no different to mine or anyone else's - in fact, recently, I've suffered one of the worst examples of bullying behaviour. These days, I deal with it by saying 'you're doing this to me'. They don't listen (or they deny everything) but they can't stop me saying my piece. Call it my contribution towards educating the masses.

    Yes, NT people can be very nasty, and interestingly, you can't tell them. They don't understand the emotional harm they do to us because it doesn't happen to them. They don't experience it, and they don't listen to us when we try to tell them. This is one of the many ways in which we are isolated and picked on.

    Your therapist spoke truly, but it's a usual crappy, NT answer to say 'move on'. That's a complete failure to understand the nature of autism. We DO internalise such events, it's part of the torture because we can't work out the 'why?' of it, so it stays in your head, going round and round and round again. Some of them are always there and can 'pop up' at the most unexpected times, bringing with them all of the associated hurt, anguish and upset.

    The very best thing you can do is what you're doing here - talk to other AS people. Hopefuly, we'll say something helpful to you, but at least you know you're not suffering alone.

  •  i used to get bullied alot through out my life. and i'm 30 now but wen i was 29 i joined a thai boxing club the end of last summer. just after i got diagnosed with autism. because i got tired of being the victim aswell. ive never used my thai boxing in self defence. and hopfully it wont come to that ever. but its just good to no its there if i ever need it.