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Understanding peoples behaviour and not being a victim.

Arkx6

So there are nasty people out there on the net, ignorant people... People who would target someone for having a disability like ASD...i ve been interacting with one on some nasty forum recently while trying to understand a part of me. Ive been bullied and targetted for my behaviour before i was diagnosed with Aspergers. Had a whole team of people complain about my behaviour in the workplace before my diagnosis.

At 6'1 with some martial arts background im not afraid of meeting these individuals face to face anymore, still my ordeals have been verbal and emotional in nature and none the less painful. 

Now i find myself with a rather dismal view of people after all i've been through. I try and understand people Who have bullied me etc in an attempt to learn from the experience so it doesnt happen again. But all i 'learn' is how nasty people can be to those who are different like me and the more i think about the behaviour the more stressed i become.

A therapist said i internalise the nasty people i have met in my life, so instead of moving on i carry them around with me.

Ive started working out again and im going to practice my martial arts again...i dont want to be a victim.

How have others adapted and dealt with being bullied because of their ASD?

What are your thoughts on what i have said?

Cheers

Parents

  • Hi Arkx6. You are, of course, entirely correct when you talk about the targeting that we are subject to. Your experiences are no different to mine or anyone else's - in fact, recently, I've suffered one of the worst examples of bullying behaviour. These days, I deal with it by saying 'you're doing this to me'. They don't listen (or they deny everything) but they can't stop me saying my piece. Call it my contribution towards educating the masses.

    Yes, NT people can be very nasty, and interestingly, you can't tell them. They don't understand the emotional harm they do to us because it doesn't happen to them. They don't experience it, and they don't listen to us when we try to tell them. This is one of the many ways in which we are isolated and picked on.

    Your therapist spoke truly, but it's a usual crappy, NT answer to say 'move on'. That's a complete failure to understand the nature of autism. We DO internalise such events, it's part of the torture because we can't work out the 'why?' of it, so it stays in your head, going round and round and round again. Some of them are always there and can 'pop up' at the most unexpected times, bringing with them all of the associated hurt, anguish and upset.

    The very best thing you can do is what you're doing here - talk to other AS people. Hopefuly, we'll say something helpful to you, but at least you know you're not suffering alone.

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  • Hi Arkx6. You are, of course, entirely correct when you talk about the targeting that we are subject to. Your experiences are no different to mine or anyone else's - in fact, recently, I've suffered one of the worst examples of bullying behaviour. These days, I deal with it by saying 'you're doing this to me'. They don't listen (or they deny everything) but they can't stop me saying my piece. Call it my contribution towards educating the masses.

    Yes, NT people can be very nasty, and interestingly, you can't tell them. They don't understand the emotional harm they do to us because it doesn't happen to them. They don't experience it, and they don't listen to us when we try to tell them. This is one of the many ways in which we are isolated and picked on.

    Your therapist spoke truly, but it's a usual crappy, NT answer to say 'move on'. That's a complete failure to understand the nature of autism. We DO internalise such events, it's part of the torture because we can't work out the 'why?' of it, so it stays in your head, going round and round and round again. Some of them are always there and can 'pop up' at the most unexpected times, bringing with them all of the associated hurt, anguish and upset.

    The very best thing you can do is what you're doing here - talk to other AS people. Hopefuly, we'll say something helpful to you, but at least you know you're not suffering alone.

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