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struggling to communicate

InfinityPink

I have struggled all my life with talking to people and some days are better than others, today was a bad day for me, had to go see mother in law today for lunch and drop off xmas gifts and for kids to get theirs from their granny.

I have absolutely nothing to say to her, she doesnt like me and dont see the point of small talk, i only went as my husband wanted me there, just zone out completely when they talk about things that i am not apart of, the conversation bores me, i could barely look her in the eye and was had myself turned away from them for most of the afternoon, kids has party poppers and hated the noise, felt myself near to tears at one point as i so want to fit in and be liked. I am undiagnosed but looking at seeing the dr this week to see about some support.

I dont know how to cope with this.

  • thanks for the comments,made the first step last night in admitting in full to my hubby what happened at his mums, could do this only via email so helped getting it all off my chest, he is being supportive but hoping he doesnt throw this back in my face in the future, made the appointment to see gp and saw him this afternoon, had a huge list of my issues and he is referring me to a phychologist and then they decide if they think i need to be seen, dr knew nothing of autism, confused my aq result with iq, didnt know whether to be insulted by that or not, so hope he does do the referral, take about a month to hear from them i think

  • i kniw just how you feel.

    i have spent my whole life trying to fit in, to be what is expected of me.  from scool all the way though my adult life.  it was tough, i drank heavily and was an alcoholic, i have been sober now for 7 years.  i thought alcohol helped me fit in.  but i was always unhappy.  i too cannot do small talk. if i am not interested i cant fake it.  i panic in crowds or with strangers engaging in conversation.  checkouts at supermarkets are the worst, i realise the staff are just passing the time but when they try to engage in converstaion i panic, cold sweat raised heartbeat.  luckily my wife is very understanding and likes to talk so she takes a lot of the flak for me.  i knew i was different my whole life, but was not sure why.  i hope your husband is understanding and i hope you have success with your gp.  remember you are not alone and that if you are on the spectrum it is not the end but the beginning.

    good luck

  • Sounds hard for you infinitypink, I have some idea of how wanting to fit in but never seeming to feels. I hope your GP is sympathetic. If you can get a diagnosis, it may well be a great help to you - if nothing else, to know there is a good reason for the way you feel. Hopefully, others close to you will understand and be supportive.  I'm sure others on this forum will have much more informative and udeful things to say, but I sense your pain and wanted to let you know you're not alone.