Accidental shoplifting

I am currently reading V Gaus Living Well on the Spectrum.

I have been focusing on thinking. The first time I read through this chapter, I had an odd dream about stealing a pendant from a local shop. I did not connect it, at that point to what I had read. Last night, I re-read the section and tried to think of examples in my own life. One of the ways that VG illustrates the thinking process and asd problems, is to look at buying lunch from a deli. She breaks the process down into all the stages needed to find the queue and buy a sandwich, and suggests ways this could go wrong for the as person. This seamed over simplified to me, but it had a strange effect.

I had the other half of my dream about stealing the pendant. I was frantically trying to think of a way of returning it the shop, without being caught, thinking, they will know it is missing and find me on the cctv.

When I woke, I started getting all sorts of memories of times I have got things wrong when shopping.

1. The earliest, I remember was at 21, going to a local, old style shop. Tins and packets were on shelves at my side of the counter, everything else was behind the counter. I wondered in and started putting tins and packets off the shelf into my bag, instead of taking them to the counter. I was the only customer, and after a short time, the owner asked me what I thought I was doing. In much embarrassment, I emptied my bag onto the counter. I never went back there.

2. Twice, years apart, in supermarkets, I have put packs of loo roll under my arm, and not in my basket. At the checkout, I forgot about the loo roll, paid for the contents of the basket, and left. I did not dare go back. I once did this with a biscuit barrell, hung on my arm, and was a hundred yards down the road, before I realised, and did go back. I know there were many other instances, where I remembered before I finnished.

3. More recently, I did my shopping, paid, then went back for a pack of printer paper. I was heading for customer services to pay, which involved passing the exit. I had a few words with someone I knew, on the way, then went out of the door and was half way across the carpark when I remembered I was on my way to customer services to pay.

I went and told the customer services staff what I had done and we had a laugh about it and put it down to being a "senior moment". Now I am not so sure. Putting all these instances together and they were just the ones that came quickly to mind when I woke, and realising that I have been making these mistakes all my life, I am now beginning to wonder if these are examples of thinking problems. VG asks questions about being unable to stay focused, being distracted easily, and difficulty in going back to what I was doing, after an interuption.

Whenever these incidents happen, I have worried about what might have resulted if I had been caught. Would anyone believe that I just forgot to pay. Shops take a very hard line with shoplifting these days.

I find it hard to recognise thinking errors in myself, because I have always been the way I am. This is my normal.

Has anyone else done things like this?

longman over 11 years ago

Recombinantsocks, my problem is not with absolutes but with balance. Given the diversity of backgrounds of books on autism, relying on just one, and repeatedly recommending it to others, is perhaps not really trying things out with an open mind.
My worry about Gaus is that observations are made about autism which aren't specific to autism, and don't seem to reflect an in depth knowledge. My comments are simply suggesting caution.
The book may suit you, but it just possibly might not be the best book to recommend on autism "since sliced bread".
Marjorie195 over 11 years ago

Thanks folks, I'm certainly guilty of obsessive thinking and churning events round ad infinitum.
However, I have not found other people who do this, among people I know. I have never been challenged and now always go back and pay.
I think perhaps,I am reading these books too late in the day, maybe I should only read them in the morning, not the evening.
Have you ever seen a dog chase it's own tail, well that's me some nights, if I go out, or read anything that makes me think too much.
Former Member over 11 years ago

Longman,
This is certainly not an exclusively ASD thing but I think that it does affect some of us and perhaps we have more of a problem with it than other people but I couldn't say for sure. Perhaps we need more help and feel less secure about these things than other people?
Personally, I have found Gaus' book useful. It encourages a positive approach that is useful for me. I think your scepticism and desire for absolute truth perhaps inhibits you sometimes? Perhaps it is useful to try things out with an open mind and decide, after you have read some of the book, whether it is useful for you? I'm generally sceptical of the genre of self help books and found that NLP, for example, did absolutely nothing for me but if you don't take any chances then you won't find any pearls.
longman over 11 years ago

Is this related to autistic spectrum though? My perception is this happens a lot, and I believe people do walk out with things under their arm unintentionally. The trouble with supermarkets is there is generally no middle option between a basket and half a dozen variants of trolley. So if you are using a basket you easily end up carrying something bulky outside the basket - toilet rolls, large washing powder cartons etc.
So recombinantsocks' idea of using a bigger trolley carries.
One thing that does affect people on the spectrum in supermarkets is complex visual and aural information, sensory overload. That is bound to be distracting.
But "being unable to stay focussed, being distracted easily, and difficulty in going back to what I was doing after an interruption" (original posting) does not sound like autistic spectrum.
There are an enormous number of books on autistic spectrum, written by people on the spectrum, or by professionals working with autism. Both have limitations - the autobiographically based ones are too much around one person's experience (and autism experiences are way too diverse for that to work). Books written by professionals based on experience of helping people on the spectrum are just as variable and unfortunately a lot are by people whose actual contact with people on the spectrum has been quite small, or whose understanding is quite limited, and whose advice is heavily dependent on speculation and hunches rather than real knowledge.
One of the earliest resource books for university staff on autism was based entirely in one university's experience of just one student on the spectrum. Some books by health professionals are based on patients they are seeing for depression and other secondary complications, and this must bias their understanding of autism.
I'm particularly wary of American therapists whose main customer base is not autism, but occasionally involves people with autism.How do they hope to distinguish autism related factors from the general complaints of their paying customers?
Former Member over 11 years ago

My example of using a larger trolley to stop you making the mistake of forgetting to pay for stuff is an example of a Poka-Yoke!
en.wikipedia.org/.../Poka-yoke
Mistake proofing (idiot proofing is perhaps a more literal translation) is finding ways to avoid the little snafus in our work or daily life.
Former Member over 11 years ago

I also have problems with concentrating and remembering to do simple and obvious things. I think it fits the characteristics of being too self absorbed and getting too involved in a distracting thought. To me the absent minded professor stereotype lines up fairly tidily with autism. At one point I got so worried at my inability to concentrate and remember things that I thought i had Alzheimers. I find it much more reassuring to think that it is only a characteristic of my autism!
Now that you are aware of it the trick may be to consciously try to stay more focused. Be more systematic in a shop by always getting a large trolley so that you can avoid having something under your arm. Use lists and reminders. I use my smartphone constantly to remind myself of things. Last night I set the bread machine going but have got into the habit of setting an alarm on my phone to tell me when it's done. When it pinged away I felt satisfied that I had worked out how to defeat my forgetfulness and the bread was not spoilt so I could "think happy thoughts" for a bit longer.
Above all, I think it you can look to exploit your deep thinking (aka obsessive thinking) and turn it to good use by applying it to something that you are interested in. If you can get absorbed in pleasant activities then this will displace the obsessive and racing thoughts that will latch on to anything such as your fear of being caught shoplifting.
You should keep taking stuff back and paying for it. This will help to train you to remember things before you leave the shop. Keep the fear of being caught in proportion. The shop will expect its customers to have senior moments and they will appreciate your honesty in bringing things back. You haven't been caught or suspected so I don't think you are on Sainsbury's "most wanted" list so try and remember that, as Azalea says, lots of people do this and they don't end up in trouble.
Pandoren over 11 years ago

I think a lot of people have done this, or gone to do it but realised before they got very far, so I doubt that is actually connected to Autism. Maybe the mental process here is more in stewing over these incidences and overanalysing them.
I haven't read the book though.