The Autistic Achievement Rulebook

Marianne72 said:

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.''

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I've been thinking about this a lot, for years. A few years ago I read 'Up from Slavery,' by Booker T Washington, a former slave who rose to become a beacon of the American Civil Rights Movement. I really recommend this for anyone with low self esteem. Booker's comment that struck me most was, "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.''

I guess a lot of people on here experienced difficulties like mine - cold parents who taught me nothing about life, coercive relationships, cold  colleagues, false friends, feeling isolation, poor education, scapegoating, always 'out of step'. So, I count 'great success' as many things - staying positive, overcoming my difficulties, remaining moral, self educating, campaigning, helping others when I can, learning to remain positive, able to laugh and experience joy. Retirement has brought great peace, time to reflect, a stable income, belonging [on here] - and giving myself treats on a regular basis, as well as recognising the flashes of joy in the past that once I overlooked. 

And your sense of humour.

lostmyway said:

I guess I could say I cared for my mom as her health declined and she needed full-time care, which meant avoiding placing her in a care home - something I don’t think she would have liked.

That and holding down a job for decades are huge achievements I think.

I can’t honestly say I feel I’ve achieved a great deal in life aside from holding down a job for decades and (hopefully) being a good son to my parents when they were alive. I guess I could say I cared for my mom as her health declined and she needed full-time care, which meant avoiding placing her in a care home - something I don’t think she would have liked. That also benefited my three siblings, as if mom had gone into a home, she would have had to sell the house, thereby depriving them of an inheritance. So yes, I suppose that counts as an achievement.

Of course, if I had gotten married, had kids, and so on, that would have been an achievement, but it would have canceled out the other one, so it’s a case of swings and roundabouts, I guess.

Alexa said:

my best buddy lives there and is overjoyed at the thought of having me so accessible.

A great incentive.

It gave me a minor panic attack last night!    However, my best buddy lives there and is overjoyed at the thought of having me so accessible. I know what I'm thinking of putting myself through but I know I'll get full support from her and her husband. They're both ND, as well.

Alexa said:

I am even planning on moving to another country (Northern Ireland), although I am in my 70s.

All the very best for this.

A huge undertaking.

ArchaeC said:

I am able to research independently and to a high standard, on a topic of interest for extended periods of time, i.e., several years.

I do the same. The amount of research I put into for each of my novels is ridiculous, as they are fantasy, but I prefer to weave the story around things that are real.

ArchaeC said:

I am amazed that I have survived to now and live in a relatively stable environment on my own, with my dogs, in my own home, so that is an achievement. That’s another thing that at one time I didn’t think would be possible.

It is.   I am even planning on moving to another country (Northern Ireland), although I am in my 70s.

I struggled to answer your question as many of the things I think of as achievements could apply to non-autistic people too, e.g., qualifications. However, I will include them here anyway because I achieved some qualifications later in life, despite at one time believing it would be impossible.

I am able to research independently and to a high standard, on a topic of interest for extended periods of time, i.e., several years.

I am amazed that I have survived to now and live in a relatively stable environment on my own, with my dogs, in my own home, so that is an achievement. That’s another thing that at one time I didn’t think would be possible.

I connect deeply with dogs and horses. 

Lonehare12 said:

So our lives don't have to be impressive from the outside, it's about how much life happens in our inner world, thats where the value lies. Ive only just realised the importance of this concept.

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Iago said:

as my experience of autism is so limited, having only been diagnosed a little more than a month ago. 

Your experience is a whole lifetime but like many of us you didn't have a name for it.

Hmmmmm.....

Interesting question, and one I am at a loss to answer properly, as my experience of autism is so limited, having only been diagnosed a little more than a month ago.  But here go my achievements of note to me;

1) Getting a job in an approvals laboratory.  The company employed around 600 people, and more than two-thirds had a degree (I did not), with around half of those having multiple postgraduate qualifications and around 50 world-renowned experts in their respective fields.  Talk about feeling 'less than'!  However, it spurred me to enrol and then graduate with a master's degree.  Truthfully, I think that anyone who graduates, at any level, deserves the award, as it's jolly hard work. Now I realise that being autistic probably did me no favours in getting it.
2) Sticking to my guns and getting a diagnosis.  Despite living in Spain and having to navigate everything in a second language, I knew that had to be done, and that letting it slip by unresolved was not an option.  So, after several false starts (especially being let down by an extremely rude diagnostician), I eventually paid to see a private consultant who was the most understanding and patient person one could wish for.
3) Never giving up.  Sure, like most people, I have had setbacks, and there have been times when I really could not be bothered to 'keep on truckin', but eventually I have always found a way of achieving whatever goal I have set myself.  Often it was slow; one could say I habitually took the scenic route, but get there I inevitably did.

The other stuff- relationships, house owning, jobs, hobbies- was to me just part of life.  Sure, I am immensely proud of my daughter and grandkids, but they did most of the work in becoming decent human beings, so I feel slightly fraudulent in claiming credit for their achievements.  

Now I am an oldish bloke with a new mountain to climb.  This time I have time to take whatever route works for me as I get to grips with autism and what it brings (positive and negative) to my life.

good call....I remember that feeling of not knowing where you are, I think it pushes you work a bit  harder.

OMG...I love this idea!!! ️  So our lives don't have to be impressive from the outside, it's about how much life happens in our inner world, thats where the value lies. Ive only just realised the importance of this concept.

Awww, thanks!

Thanks, Lonehare12  . I  was in the outside lane so couldn't see the others and simply ran as fast as I could!

Beautiful poem B , thanks for sharing it.

Thankfully, yes. 

emanningis said:

In a sense, autism tilted me towards independent, critical thinking, and this in turn to trace a unique (not better nor worse) life path.

This reminds me of a favourite poem by Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken.