I am quite outgoing and like to spend time with people of all types.
After a lifetime of saying the wrong things to people and losing friends, by upsetting them, I now find that I re-live every contact I have with other people. I offend people usually without realising it, only to have a chilling realisation several hours later that what I said was tactless or ambiguous etc. I enjoy a night out, then think over everything I have said and how people responded, to see if I have caused offence in any way. Every frown or whisper by/to someone else, may indicate that I have upset them in some way.
I have tried telling myself that most other people are not that judgemental and I mallign them if I think they are. Even that they would be upset that I thought them so petty. I am way too sensative to negative atmospheres and critisism.
How do I put a stop to this endless reliving of conversations, especially at night? I hate upsetting people I care about, so the more I like them, the longer I relive each potential gaffe. I like to socialise, but after, I am tense, preoccupied and stressed by reliving the event, to the point of exhaustion.
I tentatively talked to some friends once about this. They instantly said I had not caused any offence, but I could see they were fibbing. This probably proves they care, which in a way makes it all the more important not to be tactless. Aaaaaaagh it's a vicious circle I need to break.