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What is happiness and ...

B

what is contentment?

Do they differ from one another?

I believe they do and I don't think I have ever experienced happiness but I think I've managed to reach contentment in later life.

I think that if you suffer from depression that's an issue but I also suspect that if you take medication for that, as I do, it meddles with 'normal' emotions.

Also, what in life would make you happier or more content?

I have to say that having spent most of my life struggling financially, money helps a lot.

  • in reply to B

    So do I but it seems a long way off. Thanks.

  • in reply to Hergé
    Hergé said:
    Feeling comfortable or content is probably as close as I ever get. Frankly it's pretty crappy as I get the crushing lows but nothing at the opposite end of the spectrum.

    hugs.people hugging

  • in reply to Hergé
    Hergé said:
    I don't know if it's something like alexithymia where I'm supposed to feel something but I just don't recognise it but it is there.

    Sorry to read this H.

    This is something I've wondered about myself actually.

    I hope there is an improvement for you.

  • I just don't experience happiness or positive emotions (as far as I know). I was diagnosed with depression which was 18 as I can't honestly say that I enjoy or look forward to anything, this is still the case 3+ decades later.

    I don't know if it's something like alexithymia where I'm supposed to feel something but I just don't recognise it but it is there. The alternative is something like anhedonia where I'm stuck in a low mood that won't shift. I've taken various meds over that time and none of them made much of a dent, I'm currently on a SMS (vortioxitine ) in an attempt to get it to move, I'm almost four months in and it's not looking promising. I've been on the waiting list for rTMS for the last year but that could still be a way off.

    Feeling comfortable or content is probably as close as I ever get. Frankly it's pretty crappy as I get the crushing lows but nothing at the opposite end of the spectrum.

    I do all the things that are supposed to help but nothing seems to change.

  • in reply to Marianne72
    Marianne72 said:
    Reading the daily news, seeing how others suffer, is a great antidote to what you deem 'happiness'.

    I haven't said (and don't know) what I deem happiness ie what happiness is.

  • in reply to Marianne72
    Marianne72 said:
    You don't need power, money, fame, a 'good' childhood or good relationship to experience happiness, just to scale down your ambitions and appreciate what you have, rather than what you want.

    I don't think that is universal.

    It may be true of others.

    I don't have any ambitions to scale down and I very much appreciate what I have.

  • B said:
    I don't think I have ever experienced happiness but I think I've managed to reach contentment in later life.

    I think the two are very closely allied. I count it a happy day if I've achieved my, 'to do' list, had a bit of fun with interests/hobbies and good communications at least once [eg, drivers waving at me for letting them out, a cheery chat with a supermarket operator]. These simplicities are contentment - happiness is the cherry on top of the icing; for example, hear birdsong, seeing fluffy or storm clouds, a TV programme I enjoy.

    You don't need power, money, fame, a 'good' childhood or good relationship to experience happiness, just to scale down your ambitions and appreciate what you have, rather than what you want. Reading the daily news, seeing how others suffer, is a great antidote to what you deem 'happiness'.

    B said:
    money helps a lot.

    Like you, after years of debt or financial insecurity, I'm happy if there's something left over after bills and essentials are paid. I then treat myself with some small thing, usually every week. I don't gamble - that is a sure route to unhappiness and lack of wish fulfillment.

  • in reply to Alexa
    Alexa said:
    It's probably worse for those of us who have endured a great deal of unhappiness, because it makes happiness seem more fragile than it might be.

    Very much so.

  • I think you're right that happinness/joy and contentment are different. For me, one is occasional and the other more enduring. Also, money really helps. Although it doesn't guarantee either contentment or happiness, it relieves one from distress caused by its lack. 

    B said:
    I think that dampens down any chance of happiness (which I see as a free and open emotion) as there is always the thought that someone or something will take away that happiness.

    It's probably worse for those of us who have endured a great deal of unhappiness, because it makes happiness seem more fragile than it might be.

  • I've just been thinking about this with regard to anxiety.

    I think that dampens down any chance of happiness (which I see as a free and open emotion) as there is always the thought that someone or something will take away that happiness.