Do you think it is wrong for someone to say they are autistic when they aren't diagnosed?

I think it is difficult, given that adult diagnosis can involve a lengthy wait or be unavailable on the NHS in some areas. Not everyone can do it privately.

The evaluation of a qualified third party helps as it is not that easy to see yourself accurately and impartially from inside.

But it is probably fair to say that those that think they are, but are not formally diagnosed, are prepared say so if necessary.

I don't think if it as an identity, but an explanation to help me find work arounds so I can still do as much as possible. I can't change other people, but I can change how I see and think about things and find ways to minimise the pressure.

Exactly, a bit of closure and the confidence to go forward with a new understanding of things

I don't think those sort of people do think if I'm honest, f they did they wouldn't do it.

My only exposure to TikTok has been some reels that have been reposted to YouTube. Whilst there are some genuinely funny and creative videos in the short-form / vertical format, the rest of the sample I've seen have range from bemusement to "WTF did I just see?" Alas, YouTube itself is now awash in 'shorts', to the point where I've had to try and filter them out of search result.

Good luck with the assessment - I'm in a similar boat by the sound of it, and I'm hoping that  if/when mine finally lands, if nothing else it's closure on all that searching for understanding about what my issues relate to. I know that already of course, but even so...

Reading what you, Lotus and a few others have said about people on social media treating neurodivergence as an 'aesthetic', I am both thankful that I'm no longer on social media and saddened that anyone can regard autism spectrum disorder as a way to get more likes, comments or shares. Appropriation is the word that best describes it, and like most other kinds of appropriation it sounds like no thought whatever is given to those being appropriated.

I have an upcoming assessment but I am only doing the assessment as a bit of affirmation for myself to combat my lifelong self doubt. The outcome of the assessment will have no impact either way on my life in general. I have done my own research and realised the reason for so many aspects of my life, struggles and unexplained inability to function the same was as those around me. 

I know now why I am the way I am. An official diagnosis would be comforting as a way to dispell the inevitable self doubt but it will not change what I now know about myself.

This is a late diagnosis for me and I have a whole lifetime of "aha" moments to look back on. I think maybe self diagnosis might be a little bit more problematic with younger people as they go through all the trials of finding out who they are.

I agree with Lotus, I was talking about people who decide they're on the spectrum with my step son at the weekend, he's ADHD and uses social media a lot and said he's sick of people popping up a declaring their ND because they're "quirky". We both feel such people undermine those of us who really do have autism or ADHD. I don't mind if people do proper online tests, I think thats probably how most of us latelings discovered our autism or ADHD

If someone has taken the tests, which are available online, answered honestly and got a result that indicates high likelihood of autism I don't see a problem. That's my situation - I do not have a formal diagnosis and don't intend to pursue one at present. Everyone is welcome in this community.

I think the problem is with people on social media who apparently just decide they are autistic to be trendy - I don't have experience of this as I don't use social media.

Some people self-diagnose because they think having Autism is cool, or a cute thing. Some even think there is an autism aesthetic. Mainly TikTok idiots. 

I think it's really complicated, and my take would be that if it is impacting on your day to day life and/or mental health then it's worth doing. If it isn't, then it's probably worth weighing up how a diagnosis would impact you and those around you in terms of whether it's worth it. 

I think self identification is multi-faceted too; I can only really speak for myself and say that acceptance of a condition has been incredibly difficult, long-winded and, well, complicated. I've only really been able to accept what I am since discovering that, while I still await formal assessment, the psychiatrist who made the judgement can and does formally assess (they just weren't able to in the capacity in which I saw them, hence they referred me for formal assessment).  But yeah, until finding that out I had the 'they say I'm...' or 'Im probably autistic' where there was a level of doubt that maintained enough needle to continue to negatively impact on my mental health. 

I suppose writing that for me perhaps the answer to your question is acceptance - do you fully accept who or what you are, is there an unanswered question that would, in some small way, help you moving forward? 

For me I needed that - and reading a couple of responses here really confirms that, since Ive also had long spells of feeling like a fraud, or knowing there's an issue but not having a clue what it is... It ebbs and flows but it has been pretty taxing at times, and impacts on my day to day life significantly. 

Being told to think of myself as autistic while I wait for the assessment was helpful. Being told by the person who reffered me for assessment that they were qualified to make that diagnosis and that I would get it was profoundly more so. I guess that's a black and white thinking thing, but until the latter I've struggled with myself massively. And that took a very long time. 

(Edit: What's potentially interesting is that if/when my latest referral falls through due to the system being under so much pressure, I'm not sure I will go the formal route... I now accept that I'm autistic, which for me was almost as big a battle as getting to the bottom of what was going on. 

Oh, and in my work I actively encourage diagnosis as believe knowledge and understanding can be really helpful if those seeds of doubt and negativity start to weedle away: knowledge is power, especially so about the self)

 Heather85 - I endorse Bunny's signposting above. It is a deeply personal decision. Self-identification is a legitimate choice and so is seeking diagnosis. Indeed, later-identified people often start with some a-ha moments, researching the topic and an emerging sense there is reasonable probability that they are autistic. Good luck with your own journey.

Perhaps consider those out there who are awaiting diagnosis in what is an absolute mess of a system - I'm not sure deeming folk as pretenders/liars/attention seekers in some half way house is helpful, especially when many will feel that way themselves. 

I don't think it is wrong if someone truly believes they are autistic. Anyone diagnosed as an adult was self diagnosed first and we don't become autistic when we are diagnosed.

What is not ok is when people use it as an off hand comment and don't actually mean they are autistic at all. They are just referring to one behaviour trait. People say it with things like OCD too when they just mean they are a bit particular or like things tidy. This is damaging to those with actual difficulties.

Hi, 

I don't think it's wrong at all.

I spent 3-4 years before my diagnosis with an ever-growing conviction that I was autistic. The most important factor was that autism was the first thing I had found that explained all of my back story of 70+ years.
Also, I started to say to my partner things like "do you think what I did/said just then was autistic?" 

By the time of my autism assessment we were both reasonably sure I was autistic.    

ps everyone who believes they may have asd or have been told so (by a specialist professional covering that area) should also seek formal diagnosis imo.

This article discusses self-identification vs formal assessment, and includes perspectives from some autistic people:

NAS - Deciding whether to seek an autism assessment

yes I do. There are type two types I supposed self diagnosed and pretenders. I am not sure why anyone would pretend to be autistic. I know there are people who are self diagnosed here, really that is a half way house. Some people do this to fill a blank space or feel part of a community like people who attend niche groups.  There is a woman who showed up at our residents management meeting last month, she doesn’t even live on the site, she is disruptive and talks over people with nonsense.  No one knows how to ask her to keep quite or leave. Rubberneckers may also be a significant source of misinformation out there. For me it undervalues the diagnosis, while I respect your sense of identity I have no time for liars or attention seekers.