Do you think it is wrong for someone to say they are autistic when they aren't diagnosed?

I think it's really complicated, and my take would be that if it is impacting on your day to day life and/or mental health then it's worth doing. If it isn't, then it's probably worth weighing up how a diagnosis would impact you and those around you in terms of whether it's worth it. 

I think self identification is multi-faceted too; I can only really speak for myself and say that acceptance of a condition has been incredibly difficult, long-winded and, well, complicated. I've only really been able to accept what I am since discovering that, while I still await formal assessment, the psychiatrist who made the judgement can and does formally assess (they just weren't able to in the capacity in which I saw them, hence they referred me for formal assessment).  But yeah, until finding that out I had the 'they say I'm...' or 'Im probably autistic' where there was a level of doubt that maintained enough needle to continue to negatively impact on my mental health. 

I suppose writing that for me perhaps the answer to your question is acceptance - do you fully accept who or what you are, is there an unanswered question that would, in some small way, help you moving forward? 

For me I needed that - and reading a couple of responses here really confirms that, since Ive also had long spells of feeling like a fraud, or knowing there's an issue but not having a clue what it is... It ebbs and flows but it has been pretty taxing at times, and impacts on my day to day life significantly. 

Being told to think of myself as autistic while I wait for the assessment was helpful. Being told by the person who reffered me for assessment that they were qualified to make that diagnosis and that I would get it was profoundly more so. I guess that's a black and white thinking thing, but until the latter I've struggled with myself massively. And that took a very long time. 

(Edit: What's potentially interesting is that if/when my latest referral falls through due to the system being under so much pressure, I'm not sure I will go the formal route... I now accept that I'm autistic, which for me was almost as big a battle as getting to the bottom of what was going on. 

Oh, and in my work I actively encourage diagnosis as believe knowledge and understanding can be really helpful if those seeds of doubt and negativity start to weedle away: knowledge is power, especially so about the self)

I think it's really complicated, and my take would be that if it is impacting on your day to day life and/or mental health then it's worth doing. If it isn't, then it's probably worth weighing up how a diagnosis would impact you and those around you in terms of whether it's worth it. 

I think self identification is multi-faceted too; I can only really speak for myself and say that acceptance of a condition has been incredibly difficult, long-winded and, well, complicated. I've only really been able to accept what I am since discovering that, while I still await formal assessment, the psychiatrist who made the judgement can and does formally assess (they just weren't able to in the capacity in which I saw them, hence they referred me for formal assessment).  But yeah, until finding that out I had the 'they say I'm...' or 'Im probably autistic' where there was a level of doubt that maintained enough needle to continue to negatively impact on my mental health. 

I suppose writing that for me perhaps the answer to your question is acceptance - do you fully accept who or what you are, is there an unanswered question that would, in some small way, help you moving forward? 

For me I needed that - and reading a couple of responses here really confirms that, since Ive also had long spells of feeling like a fraud, or knowing there's an issue but not having a clue what it is... It ebbs and flows but it has been pretty taxing at times, and impacts on my day to day life significantly. 

Being told to think of myself as autistic while I wait for the assessment was helpful. Being told by the person who reffered me for assessment that they were qualified to make that diagnosis and that I would get it was profoundly more so. I guess that's a black and white thinking thing, but until the latter I've struggled with myself massively. And that took a very long time. 

(Edit: What's potentially interesting is that if/when my latest referral falls through due to the system being under so much pressure, I'm not sure I will go the formal route... I now accept that I'm autistic, which for me was almost as big a battle as getting to the bottom of what was going on. 

Oh, and in my work I actively encourage diagnosis as believe knowledge and understanding can be really helpful if those seeds of doubt and negativity start to weedle away: knowledge is power, especially so about the self)