Burnout, don't enjoy my hobbies etc

This certainly sounds like a very common issue. I was diagnosed 2 months ths ago at 54, I'd wondered if I was on the spectrum for around 14 years (I used to be a social worker and had service users I worked closely with who have Autism. I really enjoyed spending time with them and picked up on many shared similarities). Anyway I've slowly lost the motivation to engage in any of my special interests, I burnt out 2 years ago and had to stop working (at the time my GP and Psychiatrist thought it was bipolar depression with burnout, but when meds didn't help she referred me for an Asd assessment). I've tried everything I can to restart my interests that I've had since I was 10,. Anime mecha modeling, scifi films and books etc. But like you guys I get started then don't have the energy or, motivation to continue and maintain momentum . This seems to have worsened since diagnosis and I have meltdowns and shut downs much more regularly now. Skills regression is a big issue and my wife has said she's seen me shrink into myself and become more autistic since being diagnosed. I would really like to get back to my hobbies as they give me so much joy, and had been how I coped with life until around 15 years ago. But the stress of my job and I'm assuming the constant masking, people pleasing and overwhelming sensory stimulation of open office environments exhausted me so much, weekends and evenings were  taken up with fatigue and shutdowns. 

If anyone has any tips it would be appreciated, I had some CBT weekly for 10 months specifically for Bipolar disorder, that help a little, but I just feel exhausted all the time (sleep and chronic pain are long standing issues). I know physically, engaging in things I love would help, but the closest I get is watching YouTube videos of my hobbies, which the frustrates me as I want to do the hobbies.

Help me Obi Wan, you're my only hope.

Any tips or suggests of what's help any of youve found helpful be appreciated. I worry that I've developed a routine of not doing what I love.

Cheers Mark

Hi Julius, 

I can definitely empathise with your situation. I tried to articulate something similar on here myself not that long ago. Special interests are supposed to be a strength for autistic people so when these become a struggle to maintain things can start to feel pretty bleak. I have had a lot of time to myself this summer and things have felt pretty boring and lonely. I have played classical guitar for a long time and I love doing this but it is mentally demanding and when I feel burned out I struggle to even pick it up let alone focus on it for any length of time. I am definitely aware of skill regression in this area, which is frustrating and it is difficult to maintain motivation when I am struggling to see any progress. I find it is important to be kind to myself, just try to enjoy the process and not have too many expectations of myself. I have found swimming in the sea to be good it gets me out of the house and I always feel better afterwards even though it is often very hard to make myself do it. 

Thanks, yeah I like audible as well not sure why I stopped xD. I enjoyed vampire saviours, also puzzle games like even super puzzle fighter 2, i guess I like all types of games but simple ones can be good like you say rewarding.

Thanks, I just got back to logging in but appreciate this. I think reframing what is useful to do is something I'm working on and I can give myself smaller goals that help to these ends, recently I got a bit better on not starting too many different things haha. It's always easier to start something new but it makes space overwhelming, but I like the idea for planning to make an interest easier to do.

Just in case it appeals to you, this is the my other watercolour thing.
I draw a grid of 1cm x 1cm on the paper. Then I just start with a colour (pure or mixed) and paint one of the squares. And repeat. It is very hypnotic. And the interaction of the coloured squares is an added surprise. I like to randomize the squares so the process is as you say "just moving things around".

Thanks, that's a good shout, I've been wanting to get back to making art but I want to get better at it and thinking of the result but maybe thinking about it more like this will be better for me. I do really enjoy visual tactile things like this, just moving things around, making shapes etc 

Thanks, yeah that's a good idea, I did join a walking group with autistic people so maybe I can get some suggestion there for that. Yeah it's good you have the same person at least that could help make it feel less uncertain every time. 

Hello Julius, 

I am sorry to hear of your current problems. I can empathise because I have been in a similar position quite a few times. 

For me, and just maybe for you, I found doing simple repetitive things helped that use little energy or thought.
One thing that helped me was painting with watercolour paints. I don't mean painting pictures just putting paint on paper. I put small blobs of one colour next one of another colour and make them join with the brush. Watch the colours mix and change. I did this sort of thing many years ago when I was a student, surrounded by people but terribly lonely. The materials needn't be expensive. Amazon, The Range, The Works all sell cheap materials if you are able to shop from them.  

I hope you have better days very soon.

You're most welcome. 

My own experience has been that some GPs have definitely been much better than others at understanding my needs and being supportive. I'm considering making a complaint about one of them (but I might present it as feedback instead). A different GP in the same practice has been wonderful. As a reasonable adjustment, we've agreed that, when feasible, she'll be the person I see or speak to in future.

I know that some other people, locally, have switched GP practices. They often report, in a local Facebook group, how much better they've felt the support is (in general) at a couple of other practices. Perhaps that might also be an option to consider.

You might find these articles helpful:

NAS - Formal support following an autism diagnosis

NAS - What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Thanks that's quite insightful re down and up regulating. I've got some idea of this I just think of it in terms of energy. But also things that make me struggle I try and give myself breaks more, it takes a bit of self coaching but I guess this practice is good. Yeah I was into mindfulness in the past, I find it a bit harder now because I feel like my attention span is different now it's harder to slow down or stop. But it's good to bring awareness to that as I think I can do some mindfulness without necessarily meditating often.

I hope you get a compound return eventually on your strategy haha . I am practicing catching when I do things and giving myself some kind of praise, like halfway through the day thinking of all small things I did, package something, brush my teeth, look into and figure out a problem on my phone. Small things that give me a bit of a concept of someone doing things that could be considered proactive and good, and that helps a bit. 

I do know a few things thinking of it that give me energy. I enjoy things like streamers speed running and chatting, but I don't reliably find it I think scrolling searching is quite demanding. But also I find I like new interests, like for example one week I listened to loads of lord of the rings lore videos and I'm not even interested in lord of the rings or phantasy stuff in general but it was the perfect drip feed of trying to uncover and understand something so it was quite stimulating, recently I was watching people restore vintage ballistics again not that interested in it haha but that's something good to know as it's not that specific and hard to find these kind of genres and feeds on YouTube. 

Audible helps me. Listening to a book can be easier than having to sit and concentrate on a page.

I'm by no mean an expert, but if you think you're ADHD try and find a game that can give you quick rewards. Maybe something like one of these Vampire Survivors like games. Palworld is getting rave reviews and I understand it's a collection game with a lot of quick rewards. Trial and error, I guess.

Again, I wish you the best.

Hi Julius3997 . Don't beat yourself up over this! I've had burnout many times over the decades [I'm in my 70's]. It's a pain to experience but now I see it as the body and mind re-setting - which is necessary, so you must allow it to happen. At such times, it is not possible to socialise - being solitary is perfectly ok at such times. It is also an opportunity to re-assess your life, which is what you are doing without realizing it !!  I still tend to drift in and out of apathy but the following helps.  

I have a few major 'sort outs' of hobby materials, putting the stuff for my disparate interests in easily accessible places, giving excess stuff to charity shops, discarding stuff too broken for repair or out-of-date. I have sewing gear in one box, research books classified onto specific bookshelves, writing materials & computers in a tiny room [formerly a coal shed]. That way, everything is accessible when I'm ready - whether it's weeks or months before I go back to that interest. If I don't feel like doing anything in particular, I might have a re-sort, or clean some books or complete a small project - could be a couple of hours, or a day, or more - but it gives impetus. But it's also ok to simply gaze at what you have with the satisfaction of knowing you CAN DO these things when you are ready, because the materials are easily to hand. 

That sounds good re: birds, animals in general is good to see and interact with. I guess it's a friendly feeling as you're doing something good for them I can see how that's good for mental health. Yeah I think if I could do things over with gaming I would have the minimum setup like just one console or a PC, I always have multiple projects or things on the go and it tends to lock things up so I'm working at the moment on getting down to less simultaneous things. But yeah I like the idea of playing new games but it's hard to get started and even turning on my computer or something becomes a barrier haha. But I appreciate the advice. I'm trying to get into reading again as well, I do tell myself I read things on my phone all the time so at least there's less a feeling of losing touch with the activity in itself. But yeah usually when I get a good stint with it is because it's something that really engages me, and especially novels are easier to get through. Anyhow I relate to that coming in and out of things you've been doing for a long time, it's swings and roundabouts sometimes.

I have been tested for deficiencies so at least was something useful can rule that out for now

Thanks I'll take a look through. I'm not keen on speaking to my GP as I haven't found many of them supportive in the past and looking at me like I'm wasting their time etc which I usually cave to and I hate that experience. I went to my GP after my diagnosis and tried to be persistent but they just said I should look at online support etc. It shouldn't be that way and probably there's a lot of more helpful people but it does make seeking help there a hurdle as I find it traumatic in general after so many times not being heard by GP's. Anyhow that's a soar point for me but I appreciate the resources I'll try and have a go through that.

Thanks for your replies just reading through them now I will respond I was a bit anxious of checking at first haha. But it's good to hear I'm not alone.

First of all, Julius, I wish you luck in this time.

I'm a 51 year old male and I recognise all this very well. I've lost so much interest in the things I used to enjoy. I'm a gamer too, but find myself bored after 30 minutes of a game. I love to write, and am 10k words into a novel, but try to get back into it of late and I fail abysmally. The same with the family tree I've spent 15 to 20 years of my life doing.

I turned to other things. I started going out for long walks. I'll take some sunflower hearts and mealworms down the local pond and feed the ducks or the pigeons. That gives me a warm feeling inside, and a long walk can eat up 3 hours. It's also helped me finally lose weight.

I also started to do something I'd long wanted to do and began to learn German with duolingo. I can do 15 minutes a day of that and feel I've achieved something. Some days I might like to spend 30 minutes. It's just another little thing.

If you want to game, maybe find a game that's out of your usual comfort zone. See if there's a free trial and try that. Sometimes something new can trigger some new enjoyment.

I hope you can find some reassurance in your life.

Hello there Julius. I seem to be in a similar position and finding things difficult too. I get frustrated as I want to achieve things and signal progress to my brain, but just cannot quite make it sometimes (perhaps more than sometimes). My projects are important to me (video games related), but I can only seem to do them in small bites as my brain quickly becomes overstimulated which then contributes to overall fatigue.

I am trying to find ways to work with this. For example, trying to maintain small engagements with my projects, but then doing something afterwards that down-regulates my nervous system, for example, deep breathing, doing an 'omm' meditation, or listening to relaxing music.

Each time I do this, I try to learn and make little tweaks accordingly. Overall, I am trying to develop my understanding regarding what up-regulates and what down-regulates my nervous system, to what levels, and then slowly make changes accordingly regarding time engaged in that activity and counter-activities to compensate.

I can relate to the inner critic. It is not easy. I am trying to consciously substitute the harsher phrases that arise in my mind to slightly softer ones.

I hope this may help.

100% agree with Bunny's advice here esspicaly as whilst sometimes you can do things to lessen burn out your self or can be difficult I sometimes manage to do things like mindfulness but it's effectiveness varies on how successful I am in mosnful practices 

Hi and welcome to the community.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling for so long with this. I suggest asking your GP for support. 

Alongside doing that, you might find the advice and suggested strategies in these NAS resources helpful:

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

NAS Professional Practice - Understanding autistic burnout

NAS - Seeking help with mental health

There's also some great (free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author, clinician and advocate:

Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

I also have this book of hers. It's very user-friendly, including lots of diagrams and worksheets:

The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan

I hope that some of the information here is helpful.