Is secrecy an autistic thing?

So a quick Google tells me that it is, and that it's based around high masking and fear of judgement, the latter of which has been with me since forever, the former I'm discovering more and more that it has too.

As someone who has pretty much given up on socialising, I probably knew this - I've also previously made the link to my constant feeling of being watched, which probably links very closely to this thinking about it more. 

l'm interested in any insights...

Is it unreasonable to fear being judged, when you know you are being judged? In any social situation people are sussing each other out, making sure the group dynamics are kept up with properly, do we look the part, sound the part, laugh in the right places. Is it any wonder when we don't understand why we're judged or have an intellectual understanding but not an emotional one, that we come to fear the fall out, being the one who gets subtely mocked, and sometimes not so subtely, hte one who goes home early, feeling exhausted and confused? 

If the definaition of maddness is to continue doing the same things and expecting a different outcome, then we're all living proof of our own sanity.

Does anyone else not like being properly dressed for the occaision?

I think in my case it's always been more about being 'found out' - I've had that odd one out/different feeling as long as I can remember and very much wanted to fit in (and be seen as whatever cool is) since a young age. Ridiculous really: none of it matters. 

Dress wise I've at times obsessed over dialing it in, whether it fits the occasion or my own take on how things should look/what works. I'm much better at that now though maintain some weird standards!

I think for me it's because as a child I was always told when I did something wrong and often severly punnished for it, but rarely or never told when I did something well, others complimenting me, was sort of glossed over by my parents, so even doing something well carried a whiff of disaproval. My parents always had this thing about me getting "to clever", even when I was at uni in my 40's I remember my Dad telling me 'don't get to clever or no man will want you', everything seemed to looked at through a sexist, male gaze and everything I did was either not good enough or had the potential to be to good and therefore threatening. I was also not allowed privacy, even thigs like when I had a period were marked on a wall calendar in the living room, so not I really value privacy, both mine and others

Probably some truth in that - my 'research' goes as far as my old boss, who channeled it into a bit of a holier than thou look. 'Try being autistic' was my rather unfeeling retort. Not nice on my part but I never did like the way I felt around them. Whether that was my issue or theirs I'm never sure. 

I suspect the two types of imposter syndrome have different causes. My reading about NT cases indicates it's not feeling as competent as others, whereas I suspect for autistic people it's more a matter of not wanting to claim something you're not entitled to (and thus diminish those who deserve it). So, one derives from performance anxiety and the other from a sense of fairness. However, I haven't looked into the psychological definition.

Thats very true - I think with us it just runs through us all through life.

I'm my case it probably became an obsession that increasingly linked to areas where I feel I'm being set up to be judged. All probably ties into the stresses of not knowing what's 'wrong' with you until someone qualified tells you. 

And yes, imposter syndrome is very real, and another thing that typical types feel. Perhaps it not quite as intrinsic?

I get that feeling of getting "found out" too, it goes along with my feeling of having gotten away with it, rather than achievement, I think it's why I don't take being complimented easily, I'm never sure if someones having me on and laughing at me.

I think every teenager wants to fit in and worries about it, maybe this is something we share with NT's, maybe we feel it more acutely and I think we never really lose that feeling.

Oh, and talking of weirdness does anyone else here get that feeling of constantly being watched and/or judged? I can literally be in a field in the middle of nowhere with nobody around me at all, and yet I still feel watched. 

I'm aware of it and can rationalise it much better now, but it's so conditioned until me I'm not sure I'll ever move past it. I sometimes feel it when alone in certain parts of my house even!

Apparently it all ties in with masking and being on guard about being found out. It's probably really unhealthy though I think less so when you become aware of it and understand it. 

Oh, and talking of weirdness does anyone else here get that feeling of constantly being watched and/or judged? I can literally be in a field in the middle of nowhere with nobody around me at all, and yet I still feel watched. 

I'm aware of it and can rationalise it much better now, but it's so conditioned until me I'm not sure I'll ever move past it. I sometimes feel it when alone in certain parts of my house even!

Apparently it all ties in with masking and being on guard about being found out. It's probably really unhealthy though I think less so when you become aware of it and understand it.