Is secrecy an autistic thing?

So a quick Google tells me that it is, and that it's based around high masking and fear of judgement, the latter of which has been with me since forever, the former I'm discovering more and more that it has too.

As someone who has pretty much given up on socialising, I probably knew this - I've also previously made the link to my constant feeling of being watched, which probably links very closely to this thinking about it more. 

l'm interested in any insights...

Is it unreasonable to fear being judged, when you know you are being judged? In any social situation people are sussing each other out, making sure the group dynamics are kept up with properly, do we look the part, sound the part, laugh in the right places. Is it any wonder when we don't understand why we're judged or have an intellectual understanding but not an emotional one, that we come to fear the fall out, being the one who gets subtely mocked, and sometimes not so subtely, hte one who goes home early, feeling exhausted and confused? 

If the definaition of maddness is to continue doing the same things and expecting a different outcome, then we're all living proof of our own sanity.

Does anyone else not like being properly dressed for the occaision?

I think in my case it's always been more about being 'found out' - I've had that odd one out/different feeling as long as I can remember and very much wanted to fit in (and be seen as whatever cool is) since a young age. Ridiculous really: none of it matters. 

Dress wise I've at times obsessed over dialing it in, whether it fits the occasion or my own take on how things should look/what works. I'm much better at that now though maintain some weird standards!

I think for me it's because as a child I was always told when I did something wrong and often severly punnished for it, but rarely or never told when I did something well, others complimenting me, was sort of glossed over by my parents, so even doing something well carried a whiff of disaproval. My parents always had this thing about me getting "to clever", even when I was at uni in my 40's I remember my Dad telling me 'don't get to clever or no man will want you', everything seemed to looked at through a sexist, male gaze and everything I did was either not good enough or had the potential to be to good and therefore threatening. I was also not allowed privacy, even thigs like when I had a period were marked on a wall calendar in the living room, so not I really value privacy, both mine and others

I think for me it's because as a child I was always told when I did something wrong and often severly punnished for it, but rarely or never told when I did something well, others complimenting me, was sort of glossed over by my parents, so even doing something well carried a whiff of disaproval. My parents always had this thing about me getting "to clever", even when I was at uni in my 40's I remember my Dad telling me 'don't get to clever or no man will want you', everything seemed to looked at through a sexist, male gaze and everything I did was either not good enough or had the potential to be to good and therefore threatening. I was also not allowed privacy, even thigs like when I had a period were marked on a wall calendar in the living room, so not I really value privacy, both mine and others