Older late diagnosed or self identifying people, do you ever wonder how you made it to adulthood?

Hi Roy

To help me with context may I ask how old you are? Im 68, was diagnosed late, just four years ago..

To answer your question - the autism diagnosis explained pretty much everthing, especially in the light of abuse which led to C-PTSD which I am also diagnosed with. However knowing why I was/am like I was/am doesn’t help at all, its like understanding why say a car is broken but not having or being able to access the tools to fix it. ie: me. 

In fact the knowledge has made things worse, particularly as those who can help me won’t , and who want to help me can’t. I think it is might only be a matter of time before I make another attempt on my life. 

I don’t understand why people congratulate others on receiving an autism diagnosis, its not magical or wonderful or a special gift, well not in my experience. 

Hello Alice-nice-Alice , I’m really sorry if I’ve opened up old wounds. In answer to your question, I will be 60 next year, I’m not  bothered by it as I don’t really celebrate birthdays, it’s just a number. 

I was diagnosed just over a year ago, as a child I was groomed and eventually abused, I didn’t mention it at my assessment as I felt too ashamed and thought they would think me too damaged to diagnose. I am aware abuse can come in many different forms.

To be honest I couldn’t have gone on much longer, stumbling upon autism really did save me and gave me a lot of the answers I needed.

I was asked at my assessment whether I had ever considered suicide, my reply was I had actually bought the rope, it seemed to unsettle the specialist. 
At the moment I have chosen life and will try and keep going, if I fail then the abuser wins and I won’t let them win. Sorry to be so frank but that’s how it is.

Hello Alice-nice-Alice , I’m really sorry if I’ve opened up old wounds. In answer to your question, I will be 60 next year, I’m not  bothered by it as I don’t really celebrate birthdays, it’s just a number. 

I was diagnosed just over a year ago, as a child I was groomed and eventually abused, I didn’t mention it at my assessment as I felt too ashamed and thought they would think me too damaged to diagnose. I am aware abuse can come in many different forms.

To be honest I couldn’t have gone on much longer, stumbling upon autism really did save me and gave me a lot of the answers I needed.

I was asked at my assessment whether I had ever considered suicide, my reply was I had actually bought the rope, it seemed to unsettle the specialist. 
At the moment I have chosen life and will try and keep going, if I fail then the abuser wins and I won’t let them win. Sorry to be so frank but that’s how it is.

Hi Roy

Thank you for sharing this. It was a very brave thing to do.

I think posts like yours help all of us feel a little more understood, especially those of us who have found ourselves in such a dark place that it felt as though there was no other answer.

Your honesty will mean a lot to people reading this, even if they don’t reply.

Thank you.