Older late diagnosed or self identifying people, do you ever wonder how you made it to adulthood?

Hi Roy

To help me with context may I ask how old you are? Im 68, was diagnosed late, just four years ago..

To answer your question - the autism diagnosis explained pretty much everthing, especially in the light of abuse which led to C-PTSD which I am also diagnosed with. However knowing why I was/am like I was/am doesn’t help at all, its like understanding why say a car is broken but not having or being able to access the tools to fix it. ie: me. 

In fact the knowledge has made things worse, particularly as those who can help me won’t , and who want to help me can’t. I think it is might only be a matter of time before I make another attempt on my life. 

I don’t understand why people congratulate others on receiving an autism diagnosis, its not magical or wonderful or a special gift, well not in my experience. 

Hello Alice-nice-Alice , I’m really sorry if I’ve opened up old wounds. In answer to your question, I will be 60 next year, I’m not  bothered by it as I don’t really celebrate birthdays, it’s just a number. 

I was diagnosed just over a year ago, as a child I was groomed and eventually abused, I didn’t mention it at my assessment as I felt too ashamed and thought they would think me too damaged to diagnose. I am aware abuse can come in many different forms.

To be honest I couldn’t have gone on much longer, stumbling upon autism really did save me and gave me a lot of the answers I needed.

I was asked at my assessment whether I had ever considered suicide, my reply was I had actually bought the rope, it seemed to unsettle the specialist. 
At the moment I have chosen life and will try and keep going, if I fail then the abuser wins and I won’t let them win. Sorry to be so frank but that’s how it is.

Hi Roy

Thanks again for posting. Reading your words helped me, thank you. Grooming is a hideous thing, we were talking about it last night coincidentally. My wife and I met only late in life and are gradually sharing our troubled histories, I recalled to her how I had been groomed on a mental health forum but managed to realise what was happening in time to disentangle myself. 

Keep going and stay strong, Im sure your presence here helps many of us

best wishes

Alice

Hi Roy

Thanks again for posting. Reading your words helped me, thank you. Grooming is a hideous thing, we were talking about it last night coincidentally. My wife and I met only late in life and are gradually sharing our troubled histories, I recalled to her how I had been groomed on a mental health forum but managed to realise what was happening in time to disentangle myself. 

Keep going and stay strong, Im sure your presence here helps many of us

best wishes

Alice