Anyone else not wanting to socialise?

I don’t know if you are a female or not, but females at adolescence are generally considered most with autism to have better social interaction that males with autism.

The fact that you have been diagnosed autism doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be social at all. If it is really difficult say exceptionally loud then that may be a reason sometimes.  Family are often important it is good to try and make an effort if you can.

I coped going to family events with moderate sensory some 2’s in social interaction and communication.

I tried to have breaks and went upstairs and in a quiet room for breaks.  Going on the floor at times helped me to ground myself to.

You could take a fidget and may be have a comfort item.

I could stay for a few hours and then go.  Last time I went to a house gathering I had severe anorexia also and managed it for a few hours.

Yes I’m female. Females with autism arnt always better at socializing. It just appears this way but doesn’t always feel this way to the individual. This is due to masking, and social expectations that females must conversate, be empathetic and amiable. Everybody thinks Im confident when 100% of the time I’m struggling. This is the masking and trying to fit in. I guess this is why I just don’t want to do it. 

Yes I’m female. Females with autism arnt always better at socializing. It just appears this way but doesn’t always feel this way to the individual. This is due to masking, and social expectations that females must conversate, be empathetic and amiable. Everybody thinks Im confident when 100% of the time I’m struggling. This is the masking and trying to fit in. I guess this is why I just don’t want to do it. 

I was never given a level like that, I was just diagnosed and told that as I'd managed for 50 years I could keep on doing it, nobody every asked if I had problems in any areas of daily life.

I didn't know what masking was at 12 years old either, it didn't mean I didn't do it, I know I did. I think everybody masks to a certain degree, we all have different bits we present to work, or friends or family, its just with autism I think we know we do it much more conciously, even if we don't know what to call it, then we worry about our masks getting muddled, not working properly or incomplete for the situation we're in, like new people, situations, jobs. Lets think of it like make-up, many women put a little make-up on before going out, maybe some mascara and lip stick at least, and more or different make-up, for work, parties, friends etc. But, imagine you're like a woman I used to know, who was so afraid of being seen without make-up her husband never saw her without it, she's go to the bathroom first and remove that days make-up and put another load on ready for bed and she'd be up before him and do the whole things again. Now obviously thats not normal, but I think many autistic people feel that that level of camoflage is needed all the time in all situations and then wonder why nobody see's US, when in reality we're so used to living behond a mask we don't know how to take it off, so people cant see the real us, then we get afraid that no one will like the real us, even worse that we don't know who the real us is.

I think adolescence is a stage where we learn to mask really really quickly, other girls are learning to apply make-up we're learning to apply masks and they have to be made up right too. There is some evidence that girls are more hard wired for communication than boys, but it dosen't mean we don't struggle, it means that the bar is set higher for girls at the start of adolescence and well know what happens when we fail. The bullying the take downs, the whole ugly experience of it all and whats worse is that we're somehow supposed to know what we did wrong and fix it.

I didn't write that all adolescent girls were always better at socialisation. Anyway, it is an interesting area. I had no idea of masking around 12.

I found this recent finding quite interesting.

"Specifically, they found evidence of more advanced social skills in autistic females than males that mirror sex/gender differences in non-autistic individuals.

Our findings suggest that there are important differences between autistic males and females in terms of their social presentation, which are likely not captured by current diagnostic instruments”, explains Wood-Downie. “This issue might contribute to the under reporting and late recognition of autism in females, thereby delaying access to support”.

www.acamh.org/.../