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Emotional regression following late diagnosis?

Andy Neniu

Hi All,

I recently got my ASC diagnosis in my early 50s and feel like I've emotionally regressed. I'm not sure exactly how to explain what I mean. I think it might be part of the unmasking process, I feel like I've regressed to where I was when I was 14 or 15. I've picked up some of my childhood hobbies again (I've rediscovered my love of Warhammer and model painting) and I feel a bit embarrassed and maybe a bit ashamed that I'm engaging in stuff that I "should have grown out of by now". I know that I shouldn't worry what other people think, and I do try not let it alter my authentic self. I worry that it feels self-indulgent and childish, and even though I'm enjoying it I feel some guilt and shame.

Is this just what it feels like to begin to unmask and enjoy a special interest? I wonder if I'm unconsciously retreating into a place where I felt safe, or maybe a pivotal time in my life before I unlearned who I really am?

Is this a common experience, has anyone else had the same thing as a late-diagnosed adult? Any reflections and wisdom gratefully received.

  • If you stop consciously or sub-consciously trying to conform to what other people expect, and don't worry about it, then you will find what you enjoy. You don't need other people's approval.

    As long as it's legal and doesn't cause other people any trouble then it is just a case of having the confidence to do it.

    Adults build models all the time. People create railways, dioramas, have radio control cars, planes, soldiers,  boats, all sorts. Don't feel guilty.

    I wouldn't over think what it means. Just do what you enjoy.

  • Hi, it’s fine to re engage with interests, I stopped for a long time, it was like I didn’t deserve them and had to punish myself. It wasn’t until I realised I’m autistic that I stopped punishing myself,  I’ve only recently started to love my interests again, it was as if my brain has given me permission, I enjoy researching and collating the things I will need and spending time alone.

  • Hi Andy, 

    Welcome to the community. I am glad you have got your diagnosis. 

    Receiving your diagnosis can come with big emotional changes and you can read more about it here and other peoples experiences with similar situations here, if you would like too: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/after-diagnosis/how-will-i-feel-after-receiving-an-autism-diagnosi 

    A little note from me, I know plenty of adults who love Warhammer and model painting, it is a hobby for all ages, and I am glad you have rediscovered your love of it. You will probably find a lot of other people here also love it. 

    I am sure our community will continue to share their experiences. 

    Best wishes, 

    Alice Mod

  • I have never been able to see how to 'unmask' or why I should. I have a profound distrust of the term 'masking', I think that I just use learned skills that enable me to exist in society. What I did after realising I was autistic at 59 and obtaining subsequent diagnosis is cut myself rather more slack and be easier on myself. If social occasions became unbearable I allowed myself to just leave, I am autistic and I now know that my difficulties are real and I do not have to live up to allistic expectations. If a large family gathering appears to be more than I can easily handle, I excuse myself.

    Feel no shame, I am almost 65 and amuse myself by waving antique swords around and write about Napoleonic warfare. If I was more of a 'joiner' and sociable I would have been dressing up as a military re-enactor years ago.

  • Hi Andy, 

    I think that’s perfectly normal and you should free yourself to embrace what is making you happy and feel safe and calm. I believe all activities are for everyone of any age and you’re definitely not on your own with warhammer. I’ve seen lots of people of all ages interested in this hobby so you shouldn’t feel ashamed. You should be proud you found something that makes you happy that you’re interested in! That’s great news Relaxed️ 

    Nostalgic things can bring us comfort in difficult times or uncertain times maybe this is why it’s appealing now? Maybe you pushed it away before and now you feel you’re free to be your self and you’re not hurting anyone by painting figurines so there’s no harm jump in.