Emotional regression following late diagnosis?

Hi All,

I recently got my ASC diagnosis in my early 50s and feel like I've emotionally regressed. I'm not sure exactly how to explain what I mean. I think it might be part of the unmasking process, I feel like I've regressed to where I was when I was 14 or 15. I've picked up some of my childhood hobbies again (I've rediscovered my love of Warhammer and model painting) and I feel a bit embarrassed and maybe a bit ashamed that I'm engaging in stuff that I "should have grown out of by now". I know that I shouldn't worry what other people think, and I do try not let it alter my authentic self. I worry that it feels self-indulgent and childish, and even though I'm enjoying it I feel some guilt and shame.

Is this just what it feels like to begin to unmask and enjoy a special interest? I wonder if I'm unconsciously retreating into a place where I felt safe, or maybe a pivotal time in my life before I unlearned who I really am?

Is this a common experience, has anyone else had the same thing as a late-diagnosed adult? Any reflections and wisdom gratefully received.

Parents
  • Hi, it’s fine to re engage with interests, I stopped for a long time, it was like I didn’t deserve them and had to punish myself. It wasn’t until I realised I’m autistic that I stopped punishing myself,  I’ve only recently started to love my interests again, it was as if my brain has given me permission, I enjoy researching and collating the things I will need and spending time alone.

Reply
  • Hi, it’s fine to re engage with interests, I stopped for a long time, it was like I didn’t deserve them and had to punish myself. It wasn’t until I realised I’m autistic that I stopped punishing myself,  I’ve only recently started to love my interests again, it was as if my brain has given me permission, I enjoy researching and collating the things I will need and spending time alone.

Children
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