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Emotional regression following late diagnosis?

Andy Neniu

Hi All,

I recently got my ASC diagnosis in my early 50s and feel like I've emotionally regressed. I'm not sure exactly how to explain what I mean. I think it might be part of the unmasking process, I feel like I've regressed to where I was when I was 14 or 15. I've picked up some of my childhood hobbies again (I've rediscovered my love of Warhammer and model painting) and I feel a bit embarrassed and maybe a bit ashamed that I'm engaging in stuff that I "should have grown out of by now". I know that I shouldn't worry what other people think, and I do try not let it alter my authentic self. I worry that it feels self-indulgent and childish, and even though I'm enjoying it I feel some guilt and shame.

Is this just what it feels like to begin to unmask and enjoy a special interest? I wonder if I'm unconsciously retreating into a place where I felt safe, or maybe a pivotal time in my life before I unlearned who I really am?

Is this a common experience, has anyone else had the same thing as a late-diagnosed adult? Any reflections and wisdom gratefully received.

Parents

  • I have never been able to see how to 'unmask' or why I should. I have a profound distrust of the term 'masking', I think that I just use learned skills that enable me to exist in society. What I did after realising I was autistic at 59 and obtaining subsequent diagnosis is cut myself rather more slack and be easier on myself. If social occasions became unbearable I allowed myself to just leave, I am autistic and I now know that my difficulties are real and I do not have to live up to allistic expectations. If a large family gathering appears to be more than I can easily handle, I excuse myself.

    Feel no shame, I am almost 65 and amuse myself by waving antique swords around and write about Napoleonic warfare. If I was more of a 'joiner' and sociable I would have been dressing up as a military re-enactor years ago.

Reply

  • I have never been able to see how to 'unmask' or why I should. I have a profound distrust of the term 'masking', I think that I just use learned skills that enable me to exist in society. What I did after realising I was autistic at 59 and obtaining subsequent diagnosis is cut myself rather more slack and be easier on myself. If social occasions became unbearable I allowed myself to just leave, I am autistic and I now know that my difficulties are real and I do not have to live up to allistic expectations. If a large family gathering appears to be more than I can easily handle, I excuse myself.

    Feel no shame, I am almost 65 and amuse myself by waving antique swords around and write about Napoleonic warfare. If I was more of a 'joiner' and sociable I would have been dressing up as a military re-enactor years ago.

Children
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