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Control

Homebird

I have been thinking about the need to have control. I have seen it in other autistic people I have had contact with too. I have come to understand my own need for an element of control, so as much as possible is predictable. Understanding that in myself has helped me understand others who likewise need that element of control or lack of change.

Also looking at episodes of burnout, I have seen a pattern of this being linked to change or too much lack of control. I am hoping that having reasonable adjustments will help this. In respect of burnout, I have found that in the worst stage I don't have the energy to take much control, as decision making is too difficult. 

I would be interested in other's opinions on this.

  • That's an interesting thought, I do think you are right, and I've seen this in my kids too. If it gets late and the bedtime routine needs to change -a stage skipped say, if I say this as it happens, they will rail against it and a meltdown ensues. However if I involved them and form the plan with them and ask if it's okay, they are much more able to handle routine changes as they an element of control over it.   

    For myself, if I feel uncertain about something, I feel better if I've researched it all and know the steps, so I feel I am in conrol of my situation then.

    It's a really interesting thing to think about.

  • I think everyone needs a degree of control over their lives, the alternative is being blown along on the whims and desires of others. I think that sort of basic level of control is part of the boundaries we all need to feel safe and secure in life.

  • Got to agree with you about control with a small 'c'.

    It is the uncertainty that feeds into an autistic mind as you want to know every scenario so you think you can prepare. However the constant looping of thoughts is like going down a rabbit hole. Well for me it is.

    I would just love to have a settled life and view of the future but since my diagnosis I believe I have been discriminated by my employer and taking on the burden, both emotionally and financially, of an employment tribunal due to forced career lost.

    The impending nature of my case in a matter of weeks has increased this thought processing to a level I am really struggling with.

    Just want the merry-go-round to stop so I can get off and curl up into a ball and sleep peacefully.