A Rant

I understand your struggles. What helped me understand the NT mind was reading a book - "A field guide to earthlings" by Ian Ford. 

I hope that this community helps to give you a sense of belonging.

I will definitely give the book a read :) thank you so much 

I've experienced similar stuff, when I was your age, it was my age that was a problem, I was to young and people who I'd been talking to quite happily for a while would find out I was 10 years younger than them and then start patronising me. I've been called weird all my life and treated as other, had partners try and "make me better" or more socially acceptable. It is tiring, hurtful and ultimately boring, I mean how old are these people, 9? I think many NT's keep that playground dynamic their whole lives. Then theres the class predators, being a political person form a young age, I found myself being used as both a sort of working class mascot and scapegoat, hailed for being genuine working class and scapegoated for disagreeing with so much of the middle class BS that poured forth.

Ultimately it made me be more authentically me, I found that if I was going to liked or disliked, agreed with or disagreed with, it was going to be for who and what I really am, not for what people thought I ought to be. I learned to be OK with walking away, that it was better for my mental health, sometime I was lonely, I'd look at all the people playing happy families and wonder why I couldn't have that too. Ultimately it's because it's a game and one I didn't want to play.

What you are saying is so spot on - I was going to include the same question in my text : "How old are these people?". In these circles, I always feel like we are still in school and that people lack the art of polite, non-judgemental human conversation. In other settings like university, I feel way more at home. What settings do you feel more accepted in?

That sounds so tiring having a partner try to change you when the problem runs deeper than personal choice. I have had similar experiences of being judged for "not doing anything" (going out, going to events etc) and therefore not being "social enough" by partners. 

I very often get patronised as well, even if someone only has a couple of years on me - funny thing is I can barely tell when someone is being rude to me until it is quite full-on, meaning they probably think I am unfazed by it or have no boundaries when in reality I have a million haha. I am almost amazed by the human condition to identify and target people like us without any disclosed knowledge of our neurodivergence. They are like K9s!!!

Thank you so much for your reply.

What you are saying is so spot on - I was going to include the same question in my text : "How old are these people?". In these circles, I always feel like we are still in school and that people lack the art of polite, non-judgemental human conversation. In other settings like university, I feel way more at home. What settings do you feel more accepted in?

That sounds so tiring having a partner try to change you when the problem runs deeper than personal choice. I have had similar experiences of being judged for "not doing anything" (going out, going to events etc) and therefore not being "social enough" by partners. 

I very often get patronised as well, even if someone only has a couple of years on me - funny thing is I can barely tell when someone is being rude to me until it is quite full-on, meaning they probably think I am unfazed by it or have no boundaries when in reality I have a million haha. I am almost amazed by the human condition to identify and target people like us without any disclosed knowledge of our neurodivergence. They are like K9s!!!

Thank you so much for your reply.