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Late possible diagnosis/ toddler diagnosis

Millie89

Hello,

My two year old son has been showing signs of being autistic for a while.

i am currently trying to navigate how to go about getting him help.

However while doing some of the early tests for him the expert I am in touch with suggested I do the adult version of the assessment.

It’s blown my mind at 37 year old that a lot of my life ‘struggles’ could be done down to me also being autistic.

I am looking for support as anyone I have mentioned it to so far have said ‘you’re not autistic’.They don’t realise how much effort I put in to daily life to appear ‘normal’

I have been saying since my son was 1 that he was showing signs and now he’s nearly 3 people are starting to agree with me! 

I’ve have long been the ‘ problem child’ in my family. I was diagnosed with a personality disorder around 5 years ago and that got diminished by my parents etc too.

i guess i am feeling at bit lost and overwhelmed! Any advice or guidance please!

Thank you for reading 

  • Good morning from America, Millie89!

    34 year old here and I was diagnosed at 30. My daughter (now 8) was diagnosed shortly after me. Me getting diagnosed was a major part of why we looked for one for my daughter, so my journey was kind of the opposite of yours lol. One hurdle we faced, even though we could clearly see that she was missing big milestones age 1-3, was that most doctors seem to want to wait until around 6 years old to diagnose. It’s hard to clearly identify it at toddler age, but I’m not saying it’s impossible. So if you get a false negative early on, wait a few years and try to get him diagnosed again later.

    Millie89 said:
    I was diagnosed with a personality disorder around 5 years ago and that got diminished by my parents etc too.

    One thing you might look into is whether that personality disorder was misdiagnosed. It seems a lot of women who actually have Autism get misdiagnosed with that and/or BPD. So yeah, take a look at that.

    Millie89 said:
    as anyone I have mentioned it to so far have said ‘you’re not autistic’.

    Oh yeah, that can be very common. My wife denied I had Autism until I got diagnosed, and even then it took some time (mainly our daughter also getting diagnosed) for her to really accept it. The psychologist that worked with me said that I am “borderline Autistic,” so I have been fighting imposter syndrome that I might be pretending to be Autistic. But after a few years of wrestling with that, I’ve come to grips with the fact that my Autism looks different that most others’. 

  • HeyMillie89, 
    It's a very familiar story to find out about being autistic by first finding out about it for our children. I only started looking into it as my son was on the pathway, and then I started finding out about what it looked like for adults and came to the same realisation as you.

    I think some professionals want to wait to diagnose when they are very young (0-2), to be certain, but it makes sense that you'll have seen it as he grows. I'm not sure the pathway for young children, I think the health visitors and gp's can help, as well as nursery when he starts that? Hopefully someone else knows a bit more from their personal experience. 

    But yeah, it does often run in families, which can be very shocking to discover so late, but it suddenly makes so much sense. It wasn't really understood when we were kids, I hope the realisation brings more kindness to yourself as you explore it. I ended up watching videos, listening to podcasts and reading books, and of course, reaching out here, chatting, reading and asking questions and relating to others, it helps bring self validation. 

    Wishing you well.