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I’m finding working environment really hard

Anna89

I’ve always struggled with environments outside my safe space my home. I have trouble with friendships and even family relationships but I’ve been at my work place for 7 years 2 years again I reduced my hours to only mornings and to do paper work my managers allow me access to the office so I have no interruptions and noise I wear head cancelling headphones and my adjustments at work have been to not have any sudden changes to my routine so I’ve not been covering in other rooms or covering lunch times (I have said it they prepare me with a change the day before I can sort of cope better with it because I have times to process it) any the staff keep making remarks about my adjustments and talking and whispering (I know this because I’ve walked in before without them hearing me) but when I walked in the talking stops so I know it’s about me. The staff in my room have made comments about me not moving around and covering different rooms and much and then I got told today hello I said hello back and smiled and she said wow well done you actually smiled at me today. I feel the staff don’t like me because of my differences I’m also a carer to a family member so when work need cover becuase of other staff absences i can’t do it which again i get the frustration of the staff im just stuck I can’t leave i feel depressed and I hate waking up to go to work does anyone else relate or has advice 

  • That sound really hard, to get the accomodations you need, but feel more isolated because of them. Between a rock and a hard place. You are clearly working very hard, but it's difficult when others still compare and judge. I've had that with trying to work part time, even though you could be working to your limits, it as seen by others as less-than and not-enough. You are doing brilliantly, though the depression will be hurting a lot. Even when you know you should ignore their pettiness, it still hurts a lot. I don't know what you should do, but perhaps find ways of working on your own emotional wellbeing to ride it out. It sounds like a good job, and it's unfair that it's becoming unbearable due to being treated poorly.
    Maybe if you can find an outlet for the negative energy, like doing some exercise might help pick up your spirits, and do see a doctor if the depression is bad, it's a good thing to get help for it, they might even have some other suggestions for you.

    I wish the best for you.

  • in reply to Anna89

    They usually don't care. I think that they take most things much less seriously than us. For them something is just a joke and they forget it within a minute, but we get haunted by these memories and question and analyse and beat ourselves up for misunderstanding. I also heard kind of "compliment" that I even can speak and write and was also being suspected for stealing goods because of being the weirdo and not chatting with others. Our situations are often hard and it's much more, than sensory issues. But this one is a hell too. Some people laugh, that I must cover my ears while driving trolley on the aisle, because it's wheels make terrible noise that make my brain shake inside my skull. It's painful. There are more awful sounds when I cover my ears. But my manager has no problem with me covering my ears and being a bit weird or "shy" etc.

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    I’m sorry your having a hard time too I wish working environments could be nicer for everyone it’s so sad we can’t go to work and enjoy like most because of other people opinions because they are not educated in autism in adult I think it should be a compulsory course for everyone 

  • I'm sorry you are having such difficulties.  In my case I also have a fixed shift but the reason for it is my child and nursery working hours, so nobody comments on that. But I got already bullied many times also in previous companies, for being the weirdo and loner, for eating and wearing always same, not doing small talk etc. The most problematic for me now are my colleagues taking advantage of me. I process everything slower, so it takes me more time to decide if I should help someone or they are just taking advantage of me. Often someone else needs to tell me that because I don't see it at all. It's not my need to please everyone. It's my inability to recognise the intentions of others and group dynamics.