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Feeling like a burden to my partner

TJM

I seem to keep getting stressed before my partner has to go to work in the morning leading to him going to work also feeling anxious and I want to stop doing it. This morning my usual gym clothes weren't dry and I got very anxious and spiralled. He's NT and very understanding but I feel ashamed and like such a burden.

  • Thank you everyone. That's all good advice. It's definitely because it's a transition and I like the idea of having a positive association, prioritising and trying to stay calm. 

  • It might be because it is a transition. You are anticipating him leaving and getting stressed or anxious. This is using up capacity so that little things then tip you over the edge.

    If this is the case then I am not quite sure how to avoid it. Maybe before you go to sleep go over what will happen when you wake up. Try to pay attention to how you feel and try to keep calm. Maybe take deep breaths,  or avoid caffeine, make time for a hug, or if things start just say it doesn't matter,you can do it later or tomorrow and step back. I think things depend on you having priorities and knowing what you can drop, and preparing those you can't in advance.

  • in reply to Lotus

    That's a really good suggestion actually. What about talking to your partner about it and maybe coming up with a plan together? Maybe you could associate him leaving with something positive, like a nice drink you like or a song that cheers you up?

  • Everyone gets stressed at times, autistic or not. But if you want to try to avoid it, you'll have to try to plan ahead. Think about what the usual things are that might stress you and how you could avoid them. For example, could you put your gym clothes in a tumble dryer the night before to make sure they are dry?