Repetitive and narrow interests

I agree; do people ever ask themselves who they want to be? I think you hit an important point.

In my view some do, some don't. For those that do, how they choose who they want to be? I have read some philosophers that mention "role models" as one way in which we acquire values and goals. The other one, is just culture.

Even those that choose who they want to be, don't question their role-models and the culture they grow in. But those silently set our goals (such as high pay). This may require intense introspection, and it's then ignored.

Many individuals go their whole lives without ever introspecting or analysing this issues, and if questioned they may get quite angry at times.

I don't think I have an answer, but questioning this has been for me a certain obsession, and after the struggle you enjoy breeze of fresh air. At least for a while. 

I suppose I should have said career ambitions or seeking further/higher education. I feel all these things I mention above are usually commonly sort after by most people. School, college, uni, marriage, kids, high paying job etc (bettering yourself) why can’t people accept people for who they WANT to be and not by their life achievement or lack of?

Your sentence here is pretty much how I feel nowadays:

I have always lacked ambition or had any interest in what may be known as “being successful” or “popular”. I’m happy being me and my routine keeps me sane and feeling safe but I do not think others would understand this way of life or being. 

This echoes to me from the past: "You don't have any ambitions!" By family members and partners.

Not having any ambitions may be a bit further from what you describe, I presume, and can also be quite harmful. Ambitions can be goals, and those help us look forward.

The lack of ambitions, in my case, could have arisen from disappointment with societal norms and hypocrisy (as in many don't say what they really think, and so they don't act accordingly to what they say) and so forth. Like, are we really destroying nature and thinking nothing will come back? In a sense I may have concluded that no help would be enough, so I would just give up on any ambitions.

Nowadays, I feel a bit closer to your description, luckily.

I feel like my narrow range of interests prevents me from trying new things, so it's kind of a curse, but then again, whenever I have an interest, I tend to commit to it 100%, so if my range of interests was wide, I'd be stretching myself pretty thin...

Stuart333 said:

But hobbies can lose their allure if the pressure of earning money and deadlines comes into it.

Yes, exactly that's why I never did a career out of my intrest. With the Russian it's also the weird thing,  that I wanted actually to make a career with it, but language means work with people and you have to look and behave professionally. And here is the problem- I must look so unattractive,  that even a shop with jewellery or hotel as a receptionist didn't want to employ me. So an office didn't want too. I tried, applied for a younger accountant,  I seemed to fit their criteria,  my CV was good. But my social skills ruined it all in the interview. So the only jobs that want me was McDonald's,  cashier in a supermarket, call center (they were unhappy though), cleaning service in a hotel and warehouse. The last one is absolutely best option for me. People wonder, what's wrong with me, why I'm doing such a low income job with my skills and knowledge. Now I know, but I don't explain it. It's my secret.

I don't really have any ambition either, I have things I'd quite like to do, but rarely the drive I see in others to achieve them, come to that I have a sense of having gotten away with it rather than one of achievement.

FInd a job that will fund the things you enjoy, rather than feeling you have to work your way up some greasy pole.

I think we all need to look at what success means, for us as individuals and as a society. We have immence pressure to "succeed" and an equally immence problem with mental health, I don't think the two are unrelated, I think way to many people are worrying themselves into an early grave, because they believe they should have a colour supplement life style. I'd say do what makes you happy and content, do you need a massive house or a big badge car and loads of instagramable holidays to be happy and lead a fulfilling life? I know I don't, I'd far rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable, obviously though I'd like not to have to worry about basics like paying bills, but success as the world sees it dosen't interest me.

I’m the same. The effect is immediate and narrows their expectation of me based on the limited ways autism is presented in the world as it is currently.

I have a list of things I enjoy doing (19 in total) I tend to stick with them, as I find having a few interests that I can spend time and money on is better than having lots of interests and not really enjoying them too the full.

1. I do find that certain interests are always there, others I happen on. But I tend to actively focus on one generally for any period of time. When I started out in adulthood this primarily meant focussing on work and study out of work to better place myself to provide for family etc, but there's been interests and hobbies along the way, sometimes frustratingly difficult to choose one to focus on. I've just given up Beekeeping. I've always tinkers in Art, but currently decided to try 'painting with thread' so  a bit of embroidary since christmas. Grew up with music so sometimes try something music related. Probably quite a few things I've tried for a little while but at the time only able to focus on that.

I've not put it out there. But still those that see it do come up with the 'its not an excuse' and it isnt. It seems natural to think that everyone is different anyway so its natural that everyone processes stuff differently and doesnt necessarily make it wrong.

My interests have been split in two directions from a very young age. I do not remember a time when I did not not have a great interest in animals, this eventually led to a zoology degree and then a career in biomedical research. After reading Treasure Island at about seven years of age, I became obsessed with pirates then, by association, with both Vikings and naval history (the Hornblower books) and eventually to premodern history in general.

I tend to move around mentally within these two broad areas of interest, then become obsessional about a particular aspect. This can last for any period of time between weeks and years. In the mid 2000s I became obsessed with Napoleonic era cavalry and wrote 6 articles on the subject, which were published in online and print journals, one even won a prize. 

The obsessions can be expensive, as I buy lots of books on the subject, some of which may be out of print and difficult to get hold of. Of course other obsessions were remunerated, my biological obsessions formed my research work, for which I was paid.

I think idea might be to make a special interest your job, or to get a job in that area. Or alternatively to make your job a special interest and do well in it. You don't have to be perfect, just better than everyone else and learn stuff faster. 

But hobbies can lose their allure if the pressure of earning money and deadlines comes into it.

I wouldn't say special interests are particularly negative for me as I have always been clear that passtimes, hobbies and interests are free time activities and earning money has to be the first priority.

My special interests are for regulation.

I've read a reasonable amount of science fiction. I gave liked it since I was 12 or so, as I made me think.

It always had new ideas and perspectives. There was also a good dose of escapism and way to imagine somewhere interesting and very different from the mundane normal world.

I always felt forced to comply with social norms although I usually don't understand them, it's clearer when someone told me, what I was doing "wrong" and how I have to act. Example- do make up to find friends.  I was terribly disappointed when I saw that it didn't work. I had an explanation for that - im inferior to others.

I mean you can always try new things to see if they have any personal value to yourself. Sometimes you don’t need to try to know it’s not for you or (a waste of your valuable personal time). 

Thanks for that long and thoughtful reply, I expect Russian is difficult to learn. I wonder myself is being so distracted by our own thoughts and desires for our interests left little room or forethought for learning things that others take for granted. This way of sheltering in our world is a way of being indirectly self disciplined in the act of internalising reality. So when we are expected to perform say in a social setting which naturally involves other people or at work it becomes rather difficult and alien. It creates a gap in skills which may appear to the outside world as if you’ve just popped up into the world like a newborn or a vampire from a time forgotten, 

My intrests were always very narrow and sometimes morbidly obsessive. Best example my Russian (language) special interest in the past. It lasted around 10 years and I used to listen to only Russian music, to the point that I knew almost every Russian song's lyrics by heart. The menu of my PC and mobile phone must have been set in Russian, otherwise I couldn't rest, eat or sleep. Everything felt wrong and I cried a lot. I couldn't stand having to see the menu in the device in my first language. That must have been Russian and I paid to the service for changing the menu language (there was no Russian on the list by default). I used to wear Russian clothes and went to their orthodoxy church, and the priest accepted me there, but the community- no. So after some time I just disappeared. I used to live in my own Russian world. I had friends - Barbie dolls,  I uploaded a photo of them on my profile and they also had Russian names and I spoke to them Russian. Otherwise I would spend a lot of free time studying Russian grammar and vocabulary- that interested me the most. Result was that - I exceeded my Russian colleagues in translations in the university,  where I didn't graduate. And even now Russian speakers often  don't recognise that im not one of them. 

Then there was also graphic designing snd animation,  I used to sit long hours every day doing only this. And the results often amaze people,  whoever I show it.

I hear my whole life that im weird, obsessive,  having such a narrow intrest makes me unable to have a casual chat or small talk because I simply don't know the movies that people watch, I don't party, I did almost nothing outside of my intrest. It also affected my ability to concentrate on something else, because I couldn't stop thinking and dreaming about it. My Russian special interest got "killed" by my step dad, who told me to go get busy with fashion and make up in order to find friends,  because I was totally alone and lonely. I listened to him, I forced myself to get "interested " with fashion, I had to endure lots of sensory issues but I endured it only to find friends,  as promised. But it didn't work, so I left that and wanted to go back to my Russian,  but couldn't. It was sad, I felt empty inside and my life pointless without my special intrest. After some time there was another one- graphic designing and animation. 

I think seeking conventional success is overrated, it's a lot of effort and the outcome may not be very satisfying or achievable. It's tricky though when having to meet the expectations of the world or an employer.

I'm generally content with a pretty limited number of interests (I'm almost always either absorbed in work or study) and a comfortable routine. Others do find this odd, but I don't mind that.

Though, I am trying to diversify my interests, so when work and uni are bad there's something to fall back to, but haven't had much luck with that yet.

I tell very few people about my diagnosis mostly because I’d feel like I’m just using it as an excuse and that they would see me differently or less of a person. 

Thanks for your reply, I suppose I shouldn’t care what others may think but I hate the thought of being misunderstood or judged incorrectly,