Repetitive and narrow interests

My intrests were always very narrow and sometimes morbidly obsessive. Best example my Russian (language) special interest in the past. It lasted around 10 years and I used to listen to only Russian music, to the point that I knew almost every Russian song's lyrics by heart. The menu of my PC and mobile phone must have been set in Russian, otherwise I couldn't rest, eat or sleep. Everything felt wrong and I cried a lot. I couldn't stand having to see the menu in the device in my first language. That must have been Russian and I paid to the service for changing the menu language (there was no Russian on the list by default). I used to wear Russian clothes and went to their orthodoxy church, and the priest accepted me there, but the community- no. So after some time I just disappeared. I used to live in my own Russian world. I had friends - Barbie dolls,  I uploaded a photo of them on my profile and they also had Russian names and I spoke to them Russian. Otherwise I would spend a lot of free time studying Russian grammar and vocabulary- that interested me the most. Result was that - I exceeded my Russian colleagues in translations in the university,  where I didn't graduate. And even now Russian speakers often  don't recognise that im not one of them. 

Then there was also graphic designing snd animation,  I used to sit long hours every day doing only this. And the results often amaze people,  whoever I show it.

I hear my whole life that im weird, obsessive,  having such a narrow intrest makes me unable to have a casual chat or small talk because I simply don't know the movies that people watch, I don't party, I did almost nothing outside of my intrest. It also affected my ability to concentrate on something else, because I couldn't stop thinking and dreaming about it. My Russian special interest got "killed" by my step dad, who told me to go get busy with fashion and make up in order to find friends,  because I was totally alone and lonely. I listened to him, I forced myself to get "interested " with fashion, I had to endure lots of sensory issues but I endured it only to find friends,  as promised. But it didn't work, so I left that and wanted to go back to my Russian,  but couldn't. It was sad, I felt empty inside and my life pointless without my special intrest. After some time there was another one- graphic designing and animation. 

Thanks for that long and thoughtful reply, I expect Russian is difficult to learn. I wonder myself is being so distracted by our own thoughts and desires for our interests left little room or forethought for learning things that others take for granted. This way of sheltering in our world is a way of being indirectly self disciplined in the act of internalising reality. So when we are expected to perform say in a social setting which naturally involves other people or at work it becomes rather difficult and alien. It creates a gap in skills which may appear to the outside world as if you’ve just popped up into the world like a newborn or a vampire from a time forgotten, 

I always felt forced to comply with social norms although I usually don't understand them, it's clearer when someone told me, what I was doing "wrong" and how I have to act. Example- do make up to find friends.  I was terribly disappointed when I saw that it didn't work. I had an explanation for that - im inferior to others.

I always felt forced to comply with social norms although I usually don't understand them, it's clearer when someone told me, what I was doing "wrong" and how I have to act. Example- do make up to find friends.  I was terribly disappointed when I saw that it didn't work. I had an explanation for that - im inferior to others.