Making friends in person

Based upon the below image; "My Best Today" - I will admit mine is, sort of, maybe a little "Espresso Cup" portion today (capacity being so variable - depending upon a given day!). 

Well done for you; having made it into the library and having a go at their fiendish printing process.  If you are anything like me, I can imagine you might well go in there on a different day - and successfully command the printer into production - with no hassle required / noticed at all!

Thank you, I did go to the library to print something off recently but got stressed out by the process! I think I need to ease myself into some social situations, I guess I'm realising that 

Thank you, I think it's hard to work out what I want sometimes. I'm told, you must want a friend or asked by counsellors do you want a friend? Maybe looking into crafts would be better. I can do my craft and talk around things if that makes sense?! Again, this is useful!

Some libraries hold craft group get togethers once a month etc. 

In our County, you go onto the library service webpage and look through events held in those local libraries which are accessible to you. 

It is not in every library - however, there do seem to be a few different groups distributed across our County.

Hopefully, something similar might be available in your County too.

My address book has also become sparser over the years - I cherish the friendships I have and I am open to making new friends (but without expectation).

When a relationship ends, it is natural to wonder whether you are worthy. Spoiler: you are!

It is hard just walking into a new setting - and doing it anyway is courageous. How rewarding might it be to do that crafting and maybe learn something new with some other folk?

I find that the more I do positive/fun things that I fret about, the easier it gets and, because the outcome varies, I am less inclined to worry it will go wrong as evidence does not support my worry.

Worry gets in the way and keeps us small.

If it doesn't work out, I think about what I learned and try something or somewhere else. It's a percentage game in a way.

Hope this helps a bit.

I just wanted to add, you could see if your local library has any groups/courses, they might be free or inexpensive, and offer a quieter setting too. 

Thank you, I keep thinking how amazing everyone is on this forum. You spend so long not being able to communicate with people and you have all been so helpful 

What about taking a short course on a particular craft that you enjoy. Then you'd be learning something with others so the focus is on something else not on making friends, but getting to know others with similar interests is usually part of  any course. Also it's usually 6 weeks or something so there's no pressure to do it all in one setting. You can ask people about homework or other questions about the work in question.

You could even do a course in something you are already able to do a bit of so you can concentrate more on socialising than on learning. Also if it doesn't work out on the friend side of things you may learn something more about your craft. Or you could try a course in something entirely new that you'd like to know how to do. I think it's easier to make friends when the pressure is off a bit. 

Thank you, this is helpful on a personal level. I didn't quite understand how my friendship groups ended from their perspective. I keep trying to think of time and things will change again 

Thank you, I will take some time to look through the links!

A good question.

I would say don't go looking for people to become friends. Instead, try to relax (yes, I know that's difficult) and just talk to people without the self-inflicted pressure of hoping they may become friends. Acquaintances are also good - and some may eventually become friends. 

I lost all but two of my friend group when my first marriage failed, so I totally empathise with you. I even 'lost' my daughter as a result. Over the years I've been able to form lots of new friendships in a different part of the country with a new family.

I'm no good in groups, so going along to meetings and functions is still out of the question for me. But I can chat to neighbours and friends of (new) family - a bit like spreading my tentacles. It just doesn't happen overnight.

As I said to my now wife of 28 years when I met her 30 years ago: you can do it. 

Good luck.

My best suggestion would be to ask your GP for a referral to your local social prescriber (or you might be able to self-refer - you can ask your GP’s admin team about this). 

A social prescribers' (non-medical) role is to develop a personalised support plan that meets your social, practical, and emotional needs. That can definitely include helping you to find and join in with local groups or socialising activities - including making introductions or even accompanying you, to begin with.

The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

NHS England - Social prescribing

You might also find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local or online NAS branch:

NAS - Autism Services Directory

NAS - Branches

There's also an online NAS Arts and Crafts branch here:

NAS - Arts and Crafts Branch

As a final suggestion, you could search on Facebook and/or Google for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.