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To what extent do you feel people care when you tell them you have ASD?

pietro_21

What I mean is that I have had quite mixed responses. In different contexts. I am not sure to the general public pupoluation whether it means much the same, or as it did to me before I knew I was autistic. By 'care' I mean when people genuinely seem to want to understand how that is, feels, or try to empathise with you.

I'm not sure what kind of resonse I am looking for when I tell people. Or if I should expect anything at all.It seems like public understanding is a massive issue, or the ways autism is understood varies greatly from person to person. 

Sorry if this is triggering to anyone. I am interested to know this not so much of your experience of telling close family members, more outer circles and aquaintances.

I may rephrase this question. But keep a record of the original in the description.

Parents

  • I think there are a few considerations here, at least how I see it. For people that aren't close to you, it's hard for them to get their head around - it's cognatively expensive for them to consider and understand, so they need a reason to put the effort in to do that. It's confusing for us (or me at least), and we have direct access to the "source material" - so it's understandable to me that others struggle to understand.

    For people that are close, I think the relationship dynamic at the time of confiding this in them comes into it. I've only told two people myself since my diagnosis in Jan this year. One friend put the effort in to understand. Let's just say the other one is a "work in progress" Slight smile

  • in reply to Fizzler
    Fizzler said:
    it's cognatively expensive for them to consider and understand, so they need a reason to put the effort in

    Thank you @Fizzler, that perspective has helped me understand my own situation. I guess the person concerned doesn't have a reason to put in the effort — sad but true

Reply Children
  • in reply to Old_Guy

    I'm not going to pretend I have any genuine insights into any of this - but when it comes to more personal relationships, it may be the case the other party struggles with the diagnosis of their spouse, as it feels to them that they are now unable to express their own wants and needs - focus shifts to those of their partner who has been diagnosed.

    Giving them room to express themselves, and demonstrating that what they want and feel matters, without the conversation being about ASD, may help - and you may find after that, they are more receptive to understanding your perspective and how ASD impacts you / the relationship. Listening costs nothing, and to the person doing the talking, can mean a lot. And can make them more amenable to reciprocating. 

    Rather self-conscious about giving this kind of advice out - but it's worth considering if there may be something to it. Obviously, you understand your own circumstances better than anyone on the outside.