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How to bring up that my brother may have Autism?

michal7899

Hi everyone,

I have an older brother (33) who I feel may have autism. He still lives with my parents, doesn’t have any real friends, struggles making social connections and can’t stand crowded places e.g. restaurants. In addition to this, he has struggled holding down jobs and has issues controlling his emotions. I myself have struggled with mental health on and off throughout my adult life, and my ex-partner was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so I’ve had to educate myself a fair amount on mental health/disorders etc. 

My issue is that I don’t know how to bring up to him that he might have autism. Worried that he will snap at me and close off. I could very well be wrong since I’m not a therapist, but his symptoms do seem to match what I have read online. In an ideal world, he would go and seek therapy, and the therapist would then bring up the possibility of him having autism; he might be more open to the possibility if it comes from a therapist rather than his younger brother.   

I spoke to my mum about this once but she told me that they took him for a diagnosis when he was around 5 (mid-late 90s) because he had difficulties speaking, but that was in a small town in Eastern Europe, so I doubt that the diagnostic methods were as good as they are now.

Was anyone else in a similar situation? If so, how did you go about it? I’d appreciate any advice, since I do care and worry about my brother a lot.

Parents

  • That’s definitely a difficult topic to bring up, for sure. I can see how that could be taken negatively. One thing that I would try is bringing up positive examples of people with Autism. Actor Anthony Hopkins and activist Greta Thunberg are positive examples of people with Autism that are still significant members of society. You could even bring up that many famous minds of yesteryear such as Mozart and Einstein may have had undiagnosed Autism. If you normalize Autism, it may make it that he would be more receptive to it or even come to the conclusion himself.

  • in reply to profdanger
    profdanger said:
    Actor Anthony Hopkins and activist Greta Thunberg are positive examples of people with Autism

    That's perhaps a matter of opinion Wink

    For example, Anthony Hopkins reportedly said, during an interview with The Sunday Times:

    "Well, I guess I'm cynical because it's all nonsense, it's all rubbish — ADHD, OCD, Asperger’s, blah, blah, blah,” he said. “Oh God, it's called living, it's just being a human being, full of tangled webs and mysteries and stuff that's in us, full of warts and grime and craziness. It’s the human condition. All these labels — I mean, who cares? But now it’s fashion”

    The Standard - Anthony Hopkins criticised by ADHD and autism advocates after dismissing neurodivergent labels as ‘nonsense’

  • in reply to Bunny

    Wasn't Hopkins merely speaking his mind without apparent concern for the feelings of others? That and coming across as blunt or rude are signs of autism that we should all be familiar with.

    I often feel the same as him in questioning the need for labels that attempt to fit us into specific pigeon holes. We're all different.

Reply
  • in reply to Bunny

    Wasn't Hopkins merely speaking his mind without apparent concern for the feelings of others? That and coming across as blunt or rude are signs of autism that we should all be familiar with.

    I often feel the same as him in questioning the need for labels that attempt to fit us into specific pigeon holes. We're all different.

Children
  • in reply to TimC

    Hello and welcome, by the way! Wave Slight smile

  • in reply to TimC
    TimC said:
    Wasn't Hopkins merely speaking his mind without apparent concern for the feelings of others? That and coming across as blunt or rude are signs of autism that we should all be familiar with.

    Those certainly can be signs, and I agree with the importance of knowing them. He might also be very rigid in those beliefs, which can also be consistent with autism. But that's incidental to the point I was hoping to make.

    In many respects, he might be a great example. But given his well-publicised views (it's all nonsense, rubbish, and just a fashionable label), he might not be the best "positive example" if the OP is trying to encourage their brother to consider whether he might be autistic, and perhaps to seek a diagnosis and/or support.

    For me, what Hopkins said is the opposite of autism advocacy - consistent with the backlash that the article reports on. As the spokesperson for the ADHD Foundation said, "Comments like these can discourage people from seeking support or diagnosis."