How to bring up that my brother may have Autism?

Hi everyone,

I have an older brother (33) who I feel may have autism. He still lives with my parents, doesn’t have any real friends, struggles making social connections and can’t stand crowded places e.g. restaurants. In addition to this, he has struggled holding down jobs and has issues controlling his emotions. I myself have struggled with mental health on and off throughout my adult life, and my ex-partner was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so I’ve had to educate myself a fair amount on mental health/disorders etc. 

My issue is that I don’t know how to bring up to him that he might have autism. Worried that he will snap at me and close off. I could very well be wrong since I’m not a therapist, but his symptoms do seem to match what I have read online. In an ideal world, he would go and seek therapy, and the therapist would then bring up the possibility of him having autism; he might be more open to the possibility if it comes from a therapist rather than his younger brother.   

I spoke to my mum about this once but she told me that they took him for a diagnosis when he was around 5 (mid-late 90s) because he had difficulties speaking, but that was in a small town in Eastern Europe, so I doubt that the diagnostic methods were as good as they are now.

Was anyone else in a similar situation? If so, how did you go about it? I’d appreciate any advice, since I do care and worry about my brother a lot.

Parents
  • That’s definitely a difficult topic to bring up, for sure. I can see how that could be taken negatively. One thing that I would try is bringing up positive examples of people with Autism. Actor Anthony Hopkins and activist Greta Thunberg are positive examples of people with Autism that are still significant members of society. You could even bring up that many famous minds of yesteryear such as Mozart and Einstein may have had undiagnosed Autism. If you normalize Autism, it may make it that he would be more receptive to it or even come to the conclusion himself.

Reply
  • That’s definitely a difficult topic to bring up, for sure. I can see how that could be taken negatively. One thing that I would try is bringing up positive examples of people with Autism. Actor Anthony Hopkins and activist Greta Thunberg are positive examples of people with Autism that are still significant members of society. You could even bring up that many famous minds of yesteryear such as Mozart and Einstein may have had undiagnosed Autism. If you normalize Autism, it may make it that he would be more receptive to it or even come to the conclusion himself.

Children