Haircuts! Why are the small things so hard?

I completely get this as someone who struggles to go to the hairdresser and hasn't been in 6 years. 

I had one were I used to live in England, and we moved the town over and I kept going as I was comfortable there. Then we moved to Scotland. I managed to try one after a year, but I tried to go too short and my sister told me not to do that again and I was mortified. So over a year later, I went to someone different but they barely cut anything and I didn't know how to say it wasn't what I wanted so was too hard to go back. Then it was the pandemic and I was kind of glad it normalised not going and cutting your own hair. But that didn't last of course, and I've tried phoning other places but was told that weren't taking clients (I think they didn't like the sound of me and I was trying to get my kids a haircut), and years later I couldn't even get through. I wasn't strong enough to try again this year. 

Now with the diagnosis, my husband says he can call for me (I struggle with phonecalls), but I need to find somewhere I want him to try, as I have to like the look of the place on street view. And hopefully get the kids in too as my son currently only lets me cut his, but he's going to high school next year and I want to give him a chance at not looking like his mum does his hair. And my daughter is 8 and never been so I want to show her it's okay. 

It's so so hard isn't it. Can you get someone to give you a trim till your regular person can do it? Or maybe get someone to help make an appointment/ go with you to help?  It's a real genuine struggle!

As a former hairdresser I can honestly say I'm appalled at the way some hairdressers are so bad, they don't listen and do what they want rather than what I've asked for and I can speak thier language!

EP, if you want a short cut, how about getting a set of clippers and doing it yourself? Good ones will have combs that come in a range of lenghts, basically 1mm per comb, the comb is the bit that fits over the clippers.  Theres s set on amazon for £21 that go up to 25mm and down as far as 1mm if you want to go full on skin head, they're whal ones and thats the make most professionals use..

Maybe it would also be an option for your kids CW? As for yourself or anyone looking for a hairdresser, I'd go in the salon and look at the stylists if they all have the same or a very similar style you can be pretty sure that you will get that style too. It's a good idea to have a look at some styles so as you can show them somethings you like, not all may suit your hair or how much time you want to spend on it of a morning. Maybe your husband could go with you, have a chat with them before booking an appointment, many hairdressers will have seen bad haircuts and have clients who have had something done that wasn't what they asked for.

My wording may have been confusing. Although I don't like it getting long. It isn't short short so would not be simple to do at home.

Hairdressers not listening is one of my big concerns with going to someone new.

I would much prefer they cut it dry but people always seem to be reluctant. It is so different wet to dry I don't see how they can possibly cut it correctly wet.

I live in an extremely not culturally mixed area so I guess hair dressers in my area are unlikely to have that experience.

I am trying to persuade myself to ring the salon closest to me tomorrow and try and book in. Simply because it is easier to process trying this salon when I know exactly where it is and can picture the outside. I'll see how that conversation goes if I manage it. Baby steps.

But thank you for all your advice. It is interesting hearing from someone that understands both hair and autism.

Wow your knowledge is very helpful, there is a lot of things to look for in a good hairdresser. 

I was going to suggest making sure you EP gets a script prepared for calling up to make an appointment that might be good to get help with. Such as asking if they have experience with curly hair (or have covered it if it's a training salon). It sounds like a good thing to lead with when calling up, then could go on to asking about any sensory requirements. 

I imagine training people are less likely to talk too much as they will be concentrating!

Edit: to be a bit more clear. I was suggesting Expecto_Patronum writing out a script to use on the phone, and you could give pointers TheCatWoman ?

Wow your knowledge is very helpful, there is a lot of things to look for in a good hairdresser. 

I was going to suggest making sure you EP gets a script prepared for calling up to make an appointment that might be good to get help with. Such as asking if they have experience with curly hair (or have covered it if it's a training salon). It sounds like a good thing to lead with when calling up, then could go on to asking about any sensory requirements. 

I imagine training people are less likely to talk too much as they will be concentrating!

Edit: to be a bit more clear. I was suggesting Expecto_Patronum writing out a script to use on the phone, and you could give pointers TheCatWoman ?