My 47Y/O Female wife

it's not too long 

The suicidal threats do sound like coercive control and whether she's doing it on purpose or not is irrelavant. In my experience all perpetrators of domestic abuse believe they are not responsible. Are GP and psychiatrist fully aware of situation? I'd maybe reach out to local domestic abuse charities and see what they have to say about it too. 

It sounds like you need a break from the situation. living under that kind of stress will make you ill and then there will be nobody to look after the kids. Can you and kids get away for the weekend?

Not at minute we can’t, can’t afford to, I’m 46 and covered in psoriasis and have psoriatic Arthritis, both I didn’t have when we met, both have gotten worse where I struggle to stand or use my hands yet I am forced to continue doing it all or it doesn’t get done.

Autoimmune issues are made worse by stress.

I think you need help. Please talk to someone who you trust and get their view of yourself.

You could start with a GP or just see a counsellor yourself if you can afford it.

You should reduce the burden on yourself. If things don't get done it is not the end of the world. You need a breather.

It was water infection which got

treated, within a week she claiming it back again and an issue happened Sunday as I’d dealt with meltdown all day and at 7pm I was sorting food as I hadn’t eaten or done food for my sons cos she wouldn’t stop, Some Clinician on the phone is given to me telling me I need to leave sorting food and drive 5 miles each way in the snow to a pharmacy that’s open until 8pm to get antibiotics, I refused and said I’d get it Monday, I did get it for her Monday like I said, she claimed to have that infection and everyone had to drop everything. Those antibiotics are now sat next to her bed 5DAYS after being prescribed and 5 days after it was so important I went to get them for her.

NHS don’t listen, not to seem argumentative but in your original statement you said it seems like an unsupported wife, can I ask what you based this assumption on please? I’ve been accused of control by her because I wouldn’t go and buy prescription meds online for her, I told her even I’m not in control of that, doctors do tests (supposedly) to make sure they treating the right issue, she’s ordered meds for bv and water infections online WHEN SHE HAS NO SYMPTOMS just so as she has them next to her bed and doesn’t have to wait. Last week she argued blind she had bv again and needed antibiotics (which I’d taken to doctors and they disposed of), 6 hours later she used the same language to tell me it was definitely thrush and by the morning it was definitely a UTI, my response to every single episode was contact the GP who will do the appropriate test and give the correct medication. I was accused of control and ‘putting her down’ by not listening. Please explain in which way I could have been more supportive?

I’m not sure a trusted friend will give you what you need here. You need to talk to her and the NHS a trusted friend isn’t an educated friend ….

I’m not sure a trusted friend will give you what you need here. You need to talk to her and the NHS a trusted friend isn’t an educated friend ….

It was water infection which got

treated, within a week she claiming it back again and an issue happened Sunday as I’d dealt with meltdown all day and at 7pm I was sorting food as I hadn’t eaten or done food for my sons cos she wouldn’t stop, Some Clinician on the phone is given to me telling me I need to leave sorting food and drive 5 miles each way in the snow to a pharmacy that’s open until 8pm to get antibiotics, I refused and said I’d get it Monday, I did get it for her Monday like I said, she claimed to have that infection and everyone had to drop everything. Those antibiotics are now sat next to her bed 5DAYS after being prescribed and 5 days after it was so important I went to get them for her.

NHS don’t listen, not to seem argumentative but in your original statement you said it seems like an unsupported wife, can I ask what you based this assumption on please? I’ve been accused of control by her because I wouldn’t go and buy prescription meds online for her, I told her even I’m not in control of that, doctors do tests (supposedly) to make sure they treating the right issue, she’s ordered meds for bv and water infections online WHEN SHE HAS NO SYMPTOMS just so as she has them next to her bed and doesn’t have to wait. Last week she argued blind she had bv again and needed antibiotics (which I’d taken to doctors and they disposed of), 6 hours later she used the same language to tell me it was definitely thrush and by the morning it was definitely a UTI, my response to every single episode was contact the GP who will do the appropriate test and give the correct medication. I was accused of control and ‘putting her down’ by not listening. Please explain in which way I could have been more supportive?