My husband refuses to believe he has adhd/autism!!! Life is he'll sometimes

I know what this feels like I’ve been shut out for a long time for not having things go his way it was a repeated cycle but it wasn’t I’m having a bit of space or quite time. It was cold hard control. I tried for such a long time to talk about things and understand different perspectives but in the end i realised the only person doing any understanding was me but I never wanted to give up on him because I could see how it would end up. He was also a person who projected their opinion at you so based on what you were doing he would second guess your reason even though it wasn’t true and wouldn’t listen to anything that would cause me concern or give me any advice just tell me I was wrong at the expense of my mental health and to make other external people happy. He’s entirely somewhere else on the spectrum than me but many of our friends think he isn’t autistic even though I’m fairly certain of it.

There’s not a lot you can do if he’s not willing to talk or understand and work on things….  

Maybe try and tackle it from a different angle for older people they don’t always want to acknowledge mental health and neurodiversity it’s very much more a recent acceptance now that we are breaking down stigmas. With more awareness I think it is starting to make people feel more positive and inclusive but if you’re partner is someone from an old sociological view point then it might be difficult to get him to soften to that idea especially if you don’t approach it from a softer place

Yeh, im still learning of ways to deal with him but also calling him out when hes being nasty to me for no reason 

Yeah that didn’t work for me he just got angrier …. I asked to go to relationship counselling too but he wouldn’t do that so difficult to try to get someone to work with you who just won’t and even more difficult if there are a group of abusers around him too enabling it more. It’s hard when you know that you love someone at the core and they can be cute and sensitive at times and who they are at the best times and you know things could be better if they had enough softness and would communicate before being controlling or dominating and you could work things out but the fact is they don’t and you can’t take it any more 

Yeah that didn’t work for me he just got angrier …. I asked to go to relationship counselling too but he wouldn’t do that so difficult to try to get someone to work with you who just won’t and even more difficult if there are a group of abusers around him too enabling it more. It’s hard when you know that you love someone at the core and they can be cute and sensitive at times and who they are at the best times and you know things could be better if they had enough softness and would communicate before being controlling or dominating and you could work things out but the fact is they don’t and you can’t take it any more 

Yeah this is where I got up to and had to call it a day…. I tried for so long and he just had too many opinions and wasn’t willing step down and work together. It’s really hard to make that decision to leave 

Yeh i have come to realise that things may not change so im doing all I can to look after my mental health. The more im out the house doing activities i want to do, the better. Im just so sick of dealing with the mood swings and no communication. If he was able to communication with me, things would be better but the silence everyday and not answering my questions when I do actually have something to say, yeh I just cant be bothered anymore. Its wearing me down and I refuse to allow his negativity to make me ill. Sad to say but I really need to look after myself I think