Sixty and just diagnosed

Understood. Go steady.

Thanks

Had a good Christmas but in hospital As my children don't accept/understand me yet but neither do I so one step at a time 

I'm 58 finally got my diagnosis on the 3rd September this year it explained why i've experienced difficulties in life

Hospital sounds very disorienting, but I’m glad that you will get help after Christmas. In the meantime, I hope you feel less isolated now that you have joined our community and I wish you a peaceful and quiet Christmas. 

Took me some time to work out what the flip was going on after diagnosis - people telling me I was still the same person whilst i was trying to work out who the heck i was after getting diagnosed - the picture that was painted of me was me however I thought everyone must be finding it so hard too!

My family (mostly) understood and I've got better at understanding them too.

Have a good xmas - get some rest in and I wish you all the best for the new year.

Looking forward to learning how things get sorted for you.

All the best :-)

Thanks for so much great advice 

At the moment my jug is underwater I think, lol, but you have described my situation to a T. Sadly it seems just at the moment that I'm constantly how you describe. As everything is a trigger at the moment. Even the shear volume of support. It's so much to take in but it's so great as well. But great 

Thanks hopefully I'll be starting getting professional help in a week or so

At the moment I feel like a new born baby. Everything is new and very scary. I'm going to be getting help soon but I don't know yet. I'm just trying to get ahead of the game. To deal with what's happening now. 

I many ways being here is a help. There's always a quiet spot, no screaming hyped up kids, and no cooking or even washing up. Lol. 

But it's lonely and isolating. But no family rows. 

I've heard of grounding but not tried it, so I'll look into it, thanks.

It's also a bit overwhelming the shear volume of wonderful people replying. I expected one or two not this much. As a dyslexic as well it's a bit daunting but well worth it. Thanks again 

Thanks for your reply.

At this stage of being in meltdown as Stuart333 says the stress experienced might be taking you out of your range of capability to tolerate things.  The Jug analogy is a good one.  Another way of explaining this is the "window of tolerance" 

this web page Window of Tolerance - Autism Understood  explains this.  

 Stuart333 is right to suggest getting out of situations that cause stress - your being in hospital at present is in in itself likely stressful -even tho' it is perhaps in some way also getting you away from the stressors 

To help you get back into your "window" range wherever you are using what are called "grounding techniques" can help achieve calmness.

Have you any techniques that you use to "ground" yourself back into the present moment to help get away from the intensity of the challenging emotions that you might be experiencing IzzyMadd ?

The one about sensing how your body feels that Stuart333 mentions is an example of this.  There are other strategies too.

e.g. Grounding techniques to try today

If this is a new idea to you perhaps you might ask the hospital staff about them? 

Best Wishes

If you've not had one before, it suggests it's due to your current state. Once your nervous system calms down and you get more regulated you will be better able to cope.

If you think of yourself like a jug, at the moment you're filled up almost to the top. So any stress makes it overflow. If you ease off and it recalibrates, when you're calm the level is much lower, so things don't cause so much trouble.

If you do have one, all you can really do is remove yourself from the causes of the stress and try to calm down, e.g. breathing exercises. It will be hard to think straight as you are in fight or flight mode (which also has freeze and fawn).

You might not get much warning if you are dysregulated at the moment. It is best to try to avoid things which are stressful. Pay attention to you body. If you shoulders rise, it's stress. If you start breathing from your chest, i.e. your stomach is not moving, it's stress, your heart rate may go up, or it may beat harder, I can feel it in my throat, you may start sweating (clammy hands) or feel hot, or you have a knot under your sternum. Noises might seem louder, it might be hard to put up with something you could put up with before. Even if you don't feel stressed these will show that your nervous system is responding. 

At the moment I need with everything I had my first recognised meltdown three weeks ago. I don't know warnings triggers, coping strategies absolutely nothing that's what's so terrifying 

I dint know what the simplest part of all this. Only just realised what my first melt down was. So all signs/warnings are far from being recognised yet

Thanks I'll, look it up it sounds ideal

Thanks my main problem is at the moment I've had absolutely no support or even told where to find it so I'm at a total loss

1. Thanks for the support I'm here because of a break up but your kind words and suggestions really help

Hi IzzyMadd 

Autism per se won't I suspect have been what put you in hospital although I think I get what you mean based on how messed up I was at the time of diagnosis age 58.

Are you able to say what it is that you need coping with?  e.g. what are other people telling you and what are you telling yourself...     Might help to target the strategies,

Hehe, I've found people mostly friendly here!

Best Wishes

Hello. I'm sorry you are in hospital. They're not the sort of place to make you feel calm. The bright lights, noise, being woken up in the night, stifling heat and lack of air, poor food etc. is enough to make anyone ill.

I think it would be a good experiment to take a healthy person, put them in hospital and see how long it took for them to become physically or mentally ill.

I hope your experience is not too terrible and you can find somewhere peaceful for at least some of the time.

For ways to cope, it really depends, as everyone is different. But I think the main thing is not to expect too much of yourself, don't be a superhero. If things are hard, then recognise it and allow more time, or do less each day and don't feel guilty. You don't need to impress anyone. Doing what's right is enough. You can push sometimes, but not all the time.

Hello

I got my diagnosis at the start of the month at the age of 51. It made so much sense of things, and I knew it was likely, but still felt a little overwhelmed.

This is a good place to start, I think. There are lots of us in a similar situation to you. 

Hello IzzyMadd Welcome to the community.

Sorry that you are in hospital. I hope that all becomes calm for you soon.

I’m in my 60s and was diagnosed a year ago.

You are more than welcome.