Who ready for Christmas

I am absolutely ready. I've sorted out presents over the past few weeks and had them all wrapped a few days ago. Fridge and cupboards are full of Christmas food and I'm looking forward to it.

It's also my first Christmas by myself. I think at previous times in my life I'd have found this hard but for whatever reason over the last year or two I've suddenly found myself more accepting of myself and happier in my own skin and I think I'll have a good day. It actually feels a bit tense when someone asks you what your doing for Christmas and you tell them you are just by yourself, they just assume you must be sad about it but little do they realise that I find a whole day of social interaction a combination of stressful and tedious and will love a day to myself!

Yes, it doesn’t have much fat in it. I got it in M&S and it comes with a spiced red wine jus and a pat of butter with orange zest. The instructions say to put the venison in a roasting dish in an oven, fan assisted at 160C, for about 40 mins for medium cooked. Baste the meat with the juices several times. The spiced red wine jus is to be heated separately and the butter pat goes on the meat before serving. It’s for four people so as it’s just me, I’m ‘’planning to heat the remainder on Boxing Day and the day after. 

i have never roasted venison before, although I have pan fried venison steaks. I presume that the juices will keep the meat tender. I thought it would be easy to do as it is hard to get excited over cooking for one. 

I had lamb the year before and turkey every Christmas before that. 

I’ve been having nightmares and my anxiety is dialed up to 10, so that must mean the holidays are coming soon!

I've never had roast venison, I used to make venison stews, how do you cook a roast, is it not in danger of becoming dry as if I rememver rightly it dosen't have a lot of fat on it?

Thanks! ️ 

I'm so not ready, we still need to do the shop, and I've arranged for the kids to be looked after by family to do this tomorrow but my husband's gone to bed ill tonight. I'm hoping he'll be better tomorrow as it's the one shop I don't want to do on my own (though my son spent the morning making a shopping list in docs for us, as he likes lists and it will help).

But I've got a lot of wrapping to do just now too. This year has been a disaster for being organised but my head hasn't been with it. At least Christmas is just us and my youngest sister, so if it all goes wrong no one will mind. Oh and the argh elf on a shelves I have to move tonight too (14 of them, all homemade by my daughter, much better than the shop bought ones but it's a long month of putting them places).

I would please like one more day to prepare thank you.

That sounds really lovely. 

After cooking dinner tomorow night, and trimmings on xmas day, I'm being cooked for, at least it's no one who I have to mind my P's and Q's with.

That looks good!

TheCatWoman said:

I've done the last shop, it was horrible

Same here, did the last of my shopping today, and I just need to wrap four presents this evening. So relieved that bit is over. You are full on with your guests arriving soon, good luck with the festivities.

I've done the last shop, it was horrible, full of people chatting and cluttering up the aisles and nasty xmas music.

I've got a bout 5 presents to wrap, and the spare room to get ready for tomorrow when the first pair of guests arrive.

I have finished my shopping. There is a venison roasting joint and champagne in the fridge, so not much more to do thank goodness as I am on my own.

Got the food sorted it was awful though the super market was so busy I ended up having a mental down my friend Rikki who is also autistic struggled luckily a kind staff member calmed us down. We had a nice chill evening then over his and had a nice pizza each. I really hope everyone has a nice Christmas and I will be thinking about all those who are alone on the day ️. 

i have nothing, yet I have so much to give those in need.

i am struggling. Financially. Socially. Emotionally. But, I have good people around me, and a father and a sister who love me very much. As do I them.

I always offer to help, lifting heavy bags for women in the shop, rushing to the aid of an older person who falls over, making sure that my family is keeping healthy, keeping myself and keeping them safe. I have a lot of responsibilities, I am happy for this because it means that I have interesting things happening. I know that good things will happen, but right now I am not ready to rest.

Having strong character traits is all that I have. That’s why I care not for trinkets, because when I leave this world, just the same as any other man who breathes the air that I breathe, the only thing that I can take with me are my values.

i build the values through hardship. It’s what makes me tough. It’s how my father taught me from a boy and then into the man that he made me.

if I am to be a martyr, so be it. I will not sit here and accept that others will go through the same things that I have gone through and the same things that I am still going through, and after that fact, still be able to sit and relax.

i can’t do that. I have to know that I give my all in everything that I do. Big or small. When I have a task, it demands my full respect and hard work. Blood, sweat, tears, pain, broken bone. All of it.

i have to know that I did everything in my power to help others who are also going through difficult times.

Made some fruity bread borderline stollen feeling more Xmasy

If you can, spend it on experiences. This is what will carry you through and make you feel like there was worth to all the work and hardship. That is were life is. 

I give a lot too, I'm not naive about charities, and try to find small ones that will actually make a difference. For me, helping others brings me joy and worth when I can't find any for myself. 

Look forward and know others will be thinking of you and wishing you well on the journey.

William said:

especially because I grew up with nothing, and I still live a very minimalistic lifestyle

I was always wanted to spend money to make a nice home. But just for me it doesn't seem worth it. I guess it is the emotional neglect. I have money piling up as I am not extravagant, except very occasionally.

Now I have understood the past, the idea was to unfreeze my future. Having survived over 1500 weeks in a daze by taking them one week at a time I need to start planning. I have wasted money through negligence.

Anyway January will be better. I think 2025 will be marked as the low point and 2026 the start of my life properly. I hope.

There’s a lot that I could type in my reply, but I keep very private about things. For a reason.

I am very lonely. All of the time. It is something that I find difficult, especially because I grew up with nothing, and I still live a very minimalistic lifestyle.

I am finding stress considerably difficult to deal with, at this moment. And that is all because of something that is completely out of my control…

Circumstance.

I have good days and I have bad days, but I will never give up. No one can ever stop me from going where I know that I am going to end up. Goals are everything to me and my purpose keeps me strong, even when I have little energy left to use.

my faith is also very important to me. I could say more, but I need to rest more.

similar to what you said, I always tell myself if someone was here with me now, to help with the loneliness, will it actually make me feel better? And 9 times out of 10, the answer is no. I am missing the part of my life that needs companionship, but I have a lot to do before I get to that stage.

there’s so many disadvantages to having company too, like the masking that appears, the doubt from others, the unawareness on my part leading to negative feelings. I am also a much more productive person when I am alone. Having people around me, making noise, asking questions, it is too much for me.

Another thing that I tell myself, whenever I am having a difficult day, is “difficult times are the training required to become great”.

Just bought two joints (half leg of lamb and a some Aberdeen Angus beef) on the spur of the moment. I need to get organised.

I did see your reply. Poetry bypasses some of the emotional blocks and lets me integrate things.

The most effective ones describe a scene. The interesting thing is how little you need to say. Your mind fills in the details. I don't describe very much, a few small details. There are no explicitly emotional words. But it feels real. They are getting better. I get prosody, it is just hard to do well.

It may not appeal to all. Some may need another line or two to hook them in, but it will lose something.

I have more that I have not posted, including one that is hundreds of lines long about a dragon. It will take months to write, I want that to be good. I was looking at different poetry styles.

My issue is just that I completely lost my way. I don't really know what I want.

I have been both very lucky and unusually unlucky too. I've done a lot, survived a lot, seen a lot, but it cost a lot. I don't have the home I always dreamed of, or someone to matter to, someone who is proud of me, to share memories with. I shouldn't complain really.I don't really want someone everyday, it is too much, it is just all the romantic escapism fantasy stuff I absorbed. Mostly it doesn't matter, until it does.

I helped my partner who had trauma. They were fixed but it broke me. I didn't know about burnout. I never understood what happened or how so many things fell apart in a few months.