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Black and white, or shades of grey thinking

TheCatWoman

I see many people here talk of black and white thinking and that it's a very ND thing. I rarely think in black and white and nearly always in shades of grey, for me everyhthing is about context and nuance. Often I find black and white thinking like being slapped in the face by a wet fish, it's such a shock, it's also not something I particularly associate with ND but with with mostly male NT's.

It's something I find quite alienating, something that marks me out as different to both other ND's and NT's. It's not that I can't be analytical or decisive, although to some it may seem so, usually when I disagree with them and it's a case of refusing to take their stance, or be bounced into something I'm unsure of. Although I do tend to let things happen organically, the right thing comes at the right time without interfearance from me.

Are you all black and white, or are you grey?

What's your experience of being asked to think in the opposite way?

Parents

  • This reminds me of lyrics in a New Model Army song called 'The Cause' - 'All we wanted was a chance to see the world, In black and white instead of a hundred shades of grey'.

    I can be black and white thinking as in I have a strong sense of what I think is right and wrong and how I like to do certain things.  However, in general - opinion, decisions etc, I think I'm more a 100 shades of grey, as I look to weigh up all the possibilities and look at things from lots of different angles to feel like I'm making the 'right', 'balanced' decision.  I'm sometimes accused of getting bogged down in the details, not seeing the wood for the trees etc.  It can totally cause me to overthink. 

    My 'big picture' usually gets constructed from the bottom up using all the details.  It's both a blessing and a curse (or if we're being grey something in between!).  

Reply

  • This reminds me of lyrics in a New Model Army song called 'The Cause' - 'All we wanted was a chance to see the world, In black and white instead of a hundred shades of grey'.

    I can be black and white thinking as in I have a strong sense of what I think is right and wrong and how I like to do certain things.  However, in general - opinion, decisions etc, I think I'm more a 100 shades of grey, as I look to weigh up all the possibilities and look at things from lots of different angles to feel like I'm making the 'right', 'balanced' decision.  I'm sometimes accused of getting bogged down in the details, not seeing the wood for the trees etc.  It can totally cause me to overthink. 

    My 'big picture' usually gets constructed from the bottom up using all the details.  It's both a blessing and a curse (or if we're being grey something in between!).  

Children
  • in reply to Joe

       I feel exactly the same way, I think I exhaust myself with trying to be fair, look at things from all angles, weigh up possibilities in trying to stay balanced - maybe more black and white thinking would be refreshing?! I may try this - it would certainly save time!

  • in reply to Joe

    Thank you Jo, it is a blessing and a curse, unlike ArchaeC I'm not sure it's a fear of getting it wrong, it's more a distrust of knee jerk reactions and those who ask me to make them. Often things are phrased in a way that attempts to trip up any dissenting voices and what seems like a fairly normal question suddenly turns toxic as a whole backstory I was unaware of unfolds. It's a power play and as many of you who read my posts will know I dont' like power games and refuse to play them without very good reason.

    My response to people who accuse me of getting bogged down in details, is that I want to make an informed desicion and why do they have a problem with me getting the information, what are they afraid I'll find out?

    Yes somebody has said they don't understand me or how I think, but then I don't understand how they think either, I only object when it feels like someones having a pop at me because of it. I know my somewhat muddled senses mean that not everyone can associate an over cooked fried egg with net curtains, but that's OK, we can have a laugh about it, it's when the B&W thinkers can't seem to accept that thats how it is for me and make no attempt to understand me but expect me to understand them.

    I don't stim either, nor do I have ADHD, which seems to make me a bit of an outlier.

    Would people not engage with me if they didn't think I'm ND? I often feel as if I'm not ND enough, or that my points on the spectrum only overlap on a coouple of points.

  • in reply to Joe
    Joe said:
    I'm sometimes accused of getting bogged down in the details

    I was “accused” of this in my ASD assessment Medical Report. Outside of this, others have accused me of it too. I have a fear of getting something wrong (e.g., moral decisions or not finding out and giving the full facts about a situation or a news item, which could cause another person to get the wrong idea about something). I think that is why I carry guilt.