One sleepless night is enough—I don’t want it to be two.

You just have to remember it's medicine and you're not supposed to like it!

That’s good advice, thanks! 

Regarding herbal tea, I will definitely try to get it down as quickly as possible. I can procrastinate over many things, but sipping foul tasting teas is not my style—no point in prolonging the torture.

My friend had his car wrtten off when he was hit by a bread lorry that didn't stop as he was joining a motor way in very bad weather. The insurance company paid up quickly and were really good about it. What wasn't so good however was a few months later he got a letter from Manchester police informing him that he was being prosecuted for not stopping and dangerous driving, he challenged them and told them that they had a crew at an accident a few yards up the road who could confirm the conditions and that the accident had been recorded on cctv and that he was cleared at the time, he never heard anything back. So just be aware that these things can pop up weeks or months later by police forces on a fishing expidition for fines, keep all you documents relating to the accident and the names of the officers you dealt with, so as you can rid yourself of any of that sort of nonsense.

With herbal teas I don't like the taste of, but need medicinally I leave the bag in the cup and wait for it to get cool enough to just neck it back so fast I barely taste it.

I tried camomile tea decades ago, but couldn’t tolerate the taste. I will give it a go again and maybe I could add something to improve the flavour. I will try anything that might help.

TheCatWoman said:

I think it's very unfair that you're being punished by hire car companies that the lorry that hit you was stolen, is there any official body you can complain too? Or

I didn’t word my original post well, but you are right that (according to my policy) I shouldn’t have had to be without a hire car for so long. 

My policy allows a replacement small, basic car, no matter who was at fault in an accident. If it is obvious the accident was the other person’s fault, my policy allows me to have a ‘like for like’ hire car, at no cost to myself, and the insurers claim the extra costs off the other person’s insurers. 

Communication was slow between insurance departments, and they didn’t liaise effectively with the car rental firm and the police. There was also a communication issue between the police and the person in charge of the huge company that owns many lorries and their own insurance company. My insurers refused to formally accept the police and witness statements detailing the lorry registration until it was official through the other person’s insurance, and that wasn’t immediate because the lorry didn’t stop. It was only when the manager of the lorry company admitted liability and provided their insurance, that my insurance would  accept that it was not my fault. By then it was after 6:00pm yesterday (Friday), and their department that authorises a like for like car had closed for the weekend. It was of absolutely no consequence to these people that I spent the whole time worrying that I wouldn’t get my costs back if the lorry had been stolen. 

It still remains that my insurance was unable to provide me with any car within a reasonable time, mainly due to their atrocious telephone handling system and poor communication with the car rental firm and with me. The rental firm has since told me that they provide a car immediately, only if they have one available, which they didn’t until today. 

My insurance company was “Which Magazine” recommended or best buy, but I certainly cannot recommend them after my experience. I am going to contact “Which” about this. When I am in a better frame of mind to think coherently, I will go over the small print of my insurance policy to see if they have disclaimers about the timescale of supplying rental cars. I am definitely going to share this dreadful experience through the media. It is important people are aware that as a minimum, this particular insurance company is a nightmare to deal with. I didn’t want to name them here as it could be against the rules, but I don’t think it would be a problem in the wider media. 

Customer service is a thing of the past when it comes to many insurance companies. I am disgusted by the whole experience of people saying they will ring me at a particular time when they don’t mean it. 

Cammomile tea before bed an help. It's not surprising you're feeling upset and stressed, who wouldn't be, gabble out what happened as often as you need to until you get bored of hearing about it, even phone the samaritans and tell them if you need too, you just need to get the shock out of your system.

I think it's very unfair that you're being punished by hire car companies that the lorry that hit you was stolen, is there any official body you can complain too? Or write to a newspaper or local radio consumer collumn and tell them about it and about how you keep being cut off by the insureance companies. I often think they only have one person for claims, but funny how when they want you to buy something they can always pick up the phone? 

Honestly I think car insurance is more like a tax, you have to have it, but as you're finding out, they rarely seem to want to keep their end of the deal.

I hope you have a better nights sleep, at night I often tell myself there's nothing to be done until morning and that I can switch off now, sometimes it even works!

Thank you everyone for your valuable comments and suggestions last night. I thought I was going mad, partly because I cannot cope with unresolved matters and partly because of the telephone issues. The shock clearly had a big impact too. You all helped me feel supported and I followed some of your suggestions, eventually managing to settle to sleep.

This morning, the Insurance Company and the Car Rental Company (both with weekend limited service) failed to telephone me shortly after 9:00a.m. despite having promised to do so. I had to make two telephone calls which involved more listening to recorded messages and music, but I was sorted out with a manual car and a suitable automatic car will be available on Monday morning. I am hoping for a quiet and non eventful weekend until at least then.

Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I read this last night but couldn’t get myself together to respond. Your understanding of my situation made me feel a bit better.

It makes a lot of sense that you are struggling to settle after what happened. Even though you weren’t physically injured, your body and mind have still gone through a real shock. When something sudden and frightening like that occurs, the nervous system gets flooded with adrenaline, and it can take quite some time before it eases back down. That’s why you’ve been pacing, finding it hard to think clearly, and struggling to type — it’s not weakness, it’s simply your body reacting to a frightening and confusing event.

When calming feels impossible, especially with the endless phone calls and frustrations of being on hold or cut off, it sometimes helps to think of it less as “relaxing” and more as gently re-anchoring yourself. Some people find grounding exercises useful, such as looking around and naming what they can see, hear, and feel in the room. Others get more relief from physical tricks, like splashing the face with cold water, tensing and releasing muscles, or even pacing in a steady rhythm rather than in agitation. These small actions give the nervous system something safe and predictable to focus on, which can gradually help settle the sense of alarm.

The situation you’ve described with the insurance and the rental company would test anyone’s patience. Having to repeat the same story over and over, or being cut off just as you finally reach the right person, is draining in itself. One way to make that easier is to write down a very short script of the key things you need to say, along with the claim or reference numbers. That way, if you get through to someone when you’re feeling worn out, you don’t have to find the words fresh each time. Keeping a simple notepad by you can also be useful to jot down names, times, and outcomes of calls, so if you have to chase things later, you’re not starting from scratch.

It’s also natural to worry when the company who owns the lorry has been slow to respond. Keeping a log of what has been done, and when, is something practical you can control in a situation that otherwise feels out of your hands. And now that your insurance has confirmed you won’t be left carrying the cost, you have already cleared one of the most stressful uncertainties.

When night comes, it can be hard to switch off after so much adrenaline. Sometimes it helps to create a small wind-down ritual, such as writing down a short list of things to tackle on Monday and then deliberately closing the notebook, so your mind can let them rest. A warm shower or a calming drink, dim lights, and then lying down with attention on the feeling of the bed supporting your body can help remind your system that it is safe now. If your mind races back to the accident, gently repeating to yourself simple facts — “I was hit, I am safe now, I have witnesses, the police are involved, the car is being repaired” — can sometimes bring the brain back into the present.

For tonight, please allow yourself the kindness of recognising how much you have managed already: you dealt with the shock, you engaged witnesses and police, you pressed forward with your insurer, and you have kept going even while feeling shaken. You are safe, and you have done everything you can for now. The next step is to let your body and mind catch up with that safety so you can rest.

Thank you Stuart.  I’m retired so at least I don’t have to worry about that. 

Thank you for your suggestion. It’s good advice.

Glad you're ok.

I wrote a car off once. You're right, it is hard to sleep. I couldn't stop replaying it till I could figure out what happened.

I do not have a good suggestion. If you work, just take Monday off, say you had an accident and you need to sort it out. Remove the pressure.

Thank you for your suggestions Dormouse. I appreciate your suggestions and will endeavour to settle myself into a light TV programme. 

Good to know you're OK. Consider that no fractures this time is probably a plus. I feel your phone-calling pain.

For sleeping (of which I've had nearly a year of problems), my only tip is to read until you're tired, then lights out and focus only on your breathing. Listen to your breath. Every time your mind drifts, bring it back to listening to your breath. Then do it again two hours later when you wake up again. It's kept me sane.

Thank you for that. I will check that out. 

So very glad you are safe - albeit, understandably rattled and shocked.

Tonight, as the second night post the event; is a good night to try to reconnect with your life's usual pattern and passions.  

Rest does not need to be earned by mythical completion of a perfect task list of activities.  

You are not responsible for running a city's air traffic control tonight - the World will certainly cope just fine (while you rest and sleep).

I appreciate you have unfinished business with the insurers and appropriate replacement transport etc. 

Somehow, you could do with finding a couple of ways to "park" the worry beads, busy mind buzzing and depth / breadth of emotions and physical sensations.

Can you maybe, allocate yourself a timer of a maximum 30 minutes in order to: mind map, decision tree, brainstorm list , or doodle:

• the key fact of the matter points, 
• bullet points, or line drawings of any unknowns,
• keyword state essential knowledge needs,
• list potential allies and escalation options,
• remind yourself of the progress steps already made,
• draw an overview timeline of what ought to happen next (just drawing empty rectangular boxes for unknown details, and
• then put it face down, on a shelf, out of line of sight of either of your bedroom, or lounge area,
• now you know it is all safely parked for you to review no sooner than in 10 hours time (set an alarm for no sooner than 10 hours time so you can stop mentally tracking that function too).

With regards to preparation for sleep suggestions:

• Allow yourself a max 45:minutes to read / watch some low key TV / listen to chilled music,
• Put a notepad and pen on your night stand (you are allowed to park one short reminder sentence / word / simple diagram on the first page ...if something truly untoward intrudes on your mind as you settle, or during your sleep (but you have not given yourself permission to actively plan, or problem solve overnight),
• Stick as much as possible to your usual bedtime routine,
• Lock ajar a bedroom window to cool the room a bit more than usual (if you hear the wind / rain / nighttime noises you recognise them and then just let your thought about that meander along - as like a leaf bobbing along its way along a small rivulet - you know what it is, it will make its progress, you don't need to do anything about it, the World and nature are both stil making the expected movement without needing any active involvement from you,
• If you cannot get to sleep after a long time / awaken "wired" during the night - get up - wash and dry your face with tepid water - allow yourself to read something inconsequential for 25 minutes, then try and settle once again.

A few years ago when I was getting really stressed by the local council breaking the law I happened to be doing a Psychology course at the local college and the Psychology lecturer suggested Jon Kabat Zinn guided meditation and mindfulness (free on youtube).

I did it each day and after a while it helped a bit.

Once I was out of the stressful situation I stopped doing it because although it definitely made me feel calmer it was only marginal.

If you do try it hopefully it will work better for you than it did for me.

Thank you Almond. I think I just needed to tell someone. It helps to know that you have heard me.

I wish I had something useful to say. 

I can suggest just simple things: hot shower, maybe with music? Jogging (too late though)? Crying, if you feel the need to? Talk about it with us or someone of trust?

Breathing techniques like the "square breath" are delivered after traumatic events, but it does not work for very many individuals.

I just share my warmth from here, and can stay around for listening/chatting if you need or want to tell more about how you feel.