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One sleepless night is enough—I don’t want it to be two.

ArchaeC

What do people do if they can’t calm down after an incident such as an traffic accident? 

I was driving home yesterday when my car was hit by a lorry that didn’t stop. My windscreen came in on me but I wasn’t aware the bang was from the lorry and I couldn’t make sense of what had happened—I thought I had been attacked and I couldn’t physically function or make clear conversation. From the witness statements, I now understand why I wouldn’t have seen the impact coming. Fortunately, one kind person followed the lorry and came back with the registration number for the police. Other witnesses gave statements. I am not physically hurt but my car was not drivable so it is at the accident repair company. 

This is the second time my car has been hit on this road within just a few years. In the previous accident, I sustained two fractures and my car was written off. The driver of the other car was charged with careless driving. This incident was less than 300 metres from the previous accident location.

I have been pacing all day, trying to sort out insurance, car hire etc out.  It has been a nightmare as I didn’t know if the driver had hijacked the lorry and the car rental company wanted me to pay upfront in case the insurance wouldn’t cover rental of stolen vehicles. The situation has been made worse by the company who owns the lorry not responding to requests from police to identify the vehicle and driver until after closing time this evening; too late to get car rental sorted before Monday, but at least I now know I won’t be affected financially. The out of hours insurance company has escalated my claim this evening as I should not have been without even a basic car this long, but it says it might still be Monday before I get a car comparable to my automatic. 

Breathing techniques to calm down are futile when spending hours on the telephone listening to recordings of how busy the companies are and they will be with me as soon as possible. Three times, with two companies, my calls were cut off when I had just started speaking to the correct person. The whole ******** ********* having to be started again. I am having difficulty typing and I just desperately want this to be over and to sleep tonight. 

Parents

  • So very glad you are safe - albeit, understandably rattled and shocked.

    Tonight, as the second night post the event; is a good night to try to reconnect with your life's usual pattern and passions.  

    Rest does not need to be earned by mythical completion of a perfect task list of activities.  

    You are not responsible for running a city's air traffic control tonight - the World will certainly cope just fine (while you rest and sleep).

    I appreciate you have unfinished business with the insurers and appropriate replacement transport etc. 

    Somehow, you could do with finding a couple of ways to "park" the worry beads, busy mind buzzing and depth / breadth of emotions and physical sensations.

    Can you maybe, allocate yourself a timer of a maximum 30 minutes in order to: mind map, decision tree, brainstorm list , or doodle:

    • the key fact of the matter points, 
    • bullet points, or line drawings of any unknowns,
    • keyword state essential knowledge needs,
    • list potential allies and escalation options,
    • remind yourself of the progress steps already made,
    • draw an overview timeline of what ought to happen next (just drawing empty rectangular boxes for unknown details, and
    • then put it face down, on a shelf, out of line of sight of either of your bedroom, or lounge area,
    • now you know it is all safely parked for you to review no sooner than in 10 hours time (set an alarm for no sooner than 10 hours time so you can stop mentally tracking that function too).

    With regards to preparation for sleep suggestions:

    • Allow yourself a max 45:minutes to read / watch some low key TV / listen to chilled music,
    • Put a notepad and pen on your night stand (you are allowed to park one short reminder sentence / word / simple diagram on the first page ...if something truly untoward intrudes on your mind as you settle, or during your sleep (but you have not given yourself permission to actively plan, or problem solve overnight),
    • Stick as much as possible to your usual bedtime routine,
    • Lock ajar a bedroom window to cool the room a bit more than usual (if you hear the wind / rain / nighttime noises you recognise them and then just let your thought about that meander along - as like a leaf bobbing along its way along a small rivulet - you know what it is, it will make its progress, you don't need to do anything about it, the World and nature are both stil making the expected movement without needing any active involvement from you,
    • If you cannot get to sleep after a long time / awaken "wired" during the night - get up - wash and dry your face with tepid water - allow yourself to read something inconsequential for 25 minutes, then try and settle once again.
  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thank you for your suggestions Dormouse. I appreciate your suggestions and will endeavour to settle myself into a light TV programme. 

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