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Dealing with gossip in a work environment

Emmalephant

Hey! 

This might be a very naïve post, but I’m currently struggling a lot with social norms in the workplace. After getting out of school this year, I started my voluntary social service at emergency services and it had me up and running. Mostly because of the social attitude of my colleagues. There is a broad gossiping culture you might expect in a school and I know of one young colleague who gets talked about a lot behind her back. She is also autistic as far as I heard and there were nasty comments about the firm not being an “inclusive institution”. Yes there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least, but mostly it’s people just being annoyed by her character. It’s that way for a lot of people (if not everyone), but it’s especially bad for her. People even put paprika spice in her coffee-powder twice already. 
My anxiety about getting bullied or even talked about behind my back all the time is rising with each day and while I’m trying my best, it’s just exhausting to put on an act everyday (even worse than at school) for at least eight hours at a time (it will be more during my ambulance internship for the qualification I’m doing… twelve or even 24 hours with the same people). 
Is this common in the working crowd? Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school? How do you handle this? Advice is very much wanted.

I just want this year, to which I looked forward to for so long, to end so I can go and study with the ability to just isolate. I didn’t feel this frustrated since before the Abitur and I worry about my performance breaking under the pressure. I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention, I’m sorry.

Parents
  • Emmalephant said:
    I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention,

    No, no, absolutely not a big pity-party and definitely no need to say you are sorry. 

    You are experiencing an unexpectedly hostile work environment. 

    That is not acceptable and it is not your fault to not have expected such appalling conduct. 

    You are not being naïve at all - it really should not be that type of behaviour experienced in the workplace. 

    By the way: the issue about people spiking the person's coffee with paprika spice is dangerous - as some people may have an allergy to paprika.

    Because I understood that you are not based in the UK (you mentioned your "A" Level equivalent - the Abitur); we shall all here in our community need to be thoughtful about some slightly more generic constructive suggestions to support you (as it would not be so helpful for you if we all start recommending UK legislation and organisations).

    I will keep the reply brief for now (and think further about the challenge of the situation you are facing).  I just was keen for you to know: you are correct in expecting so much better behaviour in the workplace.

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thanks! Hearing that already makes a difference. Everyone just keeps telling me that “This is normal in the health care industry” and “Everyone gets talked about behind their back, it’s normal, so just suck it up and just expect to be gossiped about anytime”.

    I am not planning on filing anything formal since I’ll only have to stay there for a year and have had no problems yet (yes it’s egocentric, but I’ve made this mistake one too many times), but maybe there’s someone with advice on how to keep attention away and on how to act to avoid seeming too apathic and weird while also keeping your head down. Never thought I’d say that, but right now I’m just trying to figure out how to handle myself before thinking about how to do something against this behaviour.

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    I think the best article I have seen recently (with easy to remember summary graphics too) on the workplace bullying topic is this one:

    https://www.quill.com/content/index/resource-center/healthcare/tips-and-tricks/how-to-squash-workplace-bullying-without-bullying-back/default.cshtml

    What do you think?  Anything useful for you to consider in this article?

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thanks! Fortunately, anti-bullying systems work quite well for many here, but in this specific situation… I think legal action would do me and others more harm than good. Nonetheless, thanks for giving a source that sums it up so well!

  • in reply to Emmalephant

    We are not allowed to give legal advice here.

    However, this article names the legislation areas for Germany which may also assist you looking up a more relevant detailed definition and the particular sections of legislation of which to be aware:

    https://www.nortonrosefulbright.com/en-de/knowledge/publications/d2be19cc/bullying-in-the-workplace-what-employers-should-consider

    Other Resources:
    Anti-Bullying Legislation
    Germany does not have a single, specific anti-bullying law but instead addresses bullying under existing frameworks, including general labor laws, the Civil Code (BGB), the General Act on Equal Treatment (AGG), and the Criminal Code. Employers are legally required to protect employees from bullying under their general duty of care, known as "Fürsorgepflicht". This includes taking active measures to prevent bullying, such as establishing codes of conduct and taking action against perpetrators. Victims can seek legal redress through civil claims for damages or apply to the labor courts. 
    Key Legal Frameworks
    Employer's Obligations
    • Duty of Care (Fürsorgepflicht):
      Employers must actively prevent bullying by creating a healthy work environment and taking action against bullying behavior. 
    • Prevention:
      Employers are expected to establish policies, such as codes of conduct, to promote respectful behavior and prevent bullying. 
    • Response:
      Employers must investigate and address bullying complaints, taking proportionate and documented measures to stop bullying and protect victims. 
    Victim's Rights and Recourse
    • Civil Claims:
      Victims can bring civil claims against employers for damages or injunctive relief, particularly under the German Civil Code. 
    • Works Council:
      Employees can approach their works council, an elected body that represents employees, for assistance in dealing with bullying situations. 
    • Labour Courts:
      Employees can file claims in the German Labor Courts, potentially under the AGG for harassment or general labor laws. 
    In Summary
    While Germany has no specific bullying law, various legal frameworks provide protection against bullying, especially in the workplace. Employers have strong legal obligations to prevent and address bullying, and victims have clear avenues for seeking redress through both civil and criminal legal processes. 
    Disability Legislation
    Germany's disability legislation includes the fundamental Equal Opportunities for Disabled Persons Act (BGG) from 2002 and the recent Accessibility Improvement Act (BFSG) from 2025, which implements the European Accessibility Act. These laws prohibit discrimination, establish accessibility standards for public and some private sectors, and mandate access to digital content and services. The BFSG is particularly focused on making digital products and services accessible by requiring them to be findable, usable, and understandable for people with disabilities. 
    Key Legislation
    Core Principles
    • Prohibition of Discrimination:
      Both the BGG and BFSG aim to prevent discrimination against individuals with disabilities. 
    • Accessibility:
      Laws mandate that products, services, and information must be accessible, especially in the public sector. 
    • Digital Accessibility:
      The BFSG and related regulations focus on ensuring digital content and services are accessible, including websites, apps, and other digital information. 
    • Legal Recourse:
      Individuals have the right to seek legal remedies if their rights under these acts are violated. 
    Scope
    • Public Sector: The BGG primarily applies to federal government bodies and institutions. 
    • Private Sector: The BFSG extends accessibility requirements to economic actors offering digital products and services in the market after June 2025.

    Equality for Persons with Disabilities Act (BGG)

    Behindertengleichstellungsgesetz - BGG

    https://natlex.ilo.org/dyn/natlex2/r/natlex/fe/details?p3_isn=61882

    Publisher
    Ministry of Justice - Bundesministerium der Justiz
    URL
    http://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/bundesrecht/bgg/gesamt.pdf
    File
      DEU61882.pdf (PDF)
Reply
  • in reply to Emmalephant

    We are not allowed to give legal advice here.

    However, this article names the legislation areas for Germany which may also assist you looking up a more relevant detailed definition and the particular sections of legislation of which to be aware:

    https://www.nortonrosefulbright.com/en-de/knowledge/publications/d2be19cc/bullying-in-the-workplace-what-employers-should-consider

    Other Resources:
    Anti-Bullying Legislation
    Germany does not have a single, specific anti-bullying law but instead addresses bullying under existing frameworks, including general labor laws, the Civil Code (BGB), the General Act on Equal Treatment (AGG), and the Criminal Code. Employers are legally required to protect employees from bullying under their general duty of care, known as "Fürsorgepflicht". This includes taking active measures to prevent bullying, such as establishing codes of conduct and taking action against perpetrators. Victims can seek legal redress through civil claims for damages or apply to the labor courts. 
    Key Legal Frameworks
    Employer's Obligations
    • Duty of Care (Fürsorgepflicht):
      Employers must actively prevent bullying by creating a healthy work environment and taking action against bullying behavior. 
    • Prevention:
      Employers are expected to establish policies, such as codes of conduct, to promote respectful behavior and prevent bullying. 
    • Response:
      Employers must investigate and address bullying complaints, taking proportionate and documented measures to stop bullying and protect victims. 
    Victim's Rights and Recourse
    • Civil Claims:
      Victims can bring civil claims against employers for damages or injunctive relief, particularly under the German Civil Code. 
    • Works Council:
      Employees can approach their works council, an elected body that represents employees, for assistance in dealing with bullying situations. 
    • Labour Courts:
      Employees can file claims in the German Labor Courts, potentially under the AGG for harassment or general labor laws. 
    In Summary
    While Germany has no specific bullying law, various legal frameworks provide protection against bullying, especially in the workplace. Employers have strong legal obligations to prevent and address bullying, and victims have clear avenues for seeking redress through both civil and criminal legal processes. 
    Disability Legislation
    Germany's disability legislation includes the fundamental Equal Opportunities for Disabled Persons Act (BGG) from 2002 and the recent Accessibility Improvement Act (BFSG) from 2025, which implements the European Accessibility Act. These laws prohibit discrimination, establish accessibility standards for public and some private sectors, and mandate access to digital content and services. The BFSG is particularly focused on making digital products and services accessible by requiring them to be findable, usable, and understandable for people with disabilities. 
    Key Legislation
    Core Principles
    • Prohibition of Discrimination:
      Both the BGG and BFSG aim to prevent discrimination against individuals with disabilities. 
    • Accessibility:
      Laws mandate that products, services, and information must be accessible, especially in the public sector. 
    • Digital Accessibility:
      The BFSG and related regulations focus on ensuring digital content and services are accessible, including websites, apps, and other digital information. 
    • Legal Recourse:
      Individuals have the right to seek legal remedies if their rights under these acts are violated. 
    Scope
    • Public Sector: The BGG primarily applies to federal government bodies and institutions. 
    • Private Sector: The BFSG extends accessibility requirements to economic actors offering digital products and services in the market after June 2025.

    Equality for Persons with Disabilities Act (BGG)

    Behindertengleichstellungsgesetz - BGG

    https://natlex.ilo.org/dyn/natlex2/r/natlex/fe/details?p3_isn=61882

    Publisher
    Ministry of Justice - Bundesministerium der Justiz
    URL
    http://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/bundesrecht/bgg/gesamt.pdf
    File
      DEU61882.pdf (PDF)
Children