Dealing with gossip in a work environment

Hey! 

This might be a very naïve post, but I’m currently struggling a lot with social norms in the workplace. After getting out of school this year, I started my voluntary social service at emergency services and it had me up and running. Mostly because of the social attitude of my colleagues. There is a broad gossiping culture you might expect in a school and I know of one young colleague who gets talked about a lot behind her back. She is also autistic as far as I heard and there were nasty comments about the firm not being an “inclusive institution”. Yes there are people who complain about her not being good at her job which is a valid complaint at least, but mostly it’s people just being annoyed by her character. It’s that way for a lot of people (if not everyone), but it’s especially bad for her. People even put paprika spice in her coffee-powder twice already. 
My anxiety about getting bullied or even talked about behind my back all the time is rising with each day and while I’m trying my best, it’s just exhausting to put on an act everyday (even worse than at school) for at least eight hours at a time (it will be more during my ambulance internship for the qualification I’m doing… twelve or even 24 hours with the same people). 
Is this common in the working crowd? Was I so wrong about hoping for things to get better after school? How do you handle this? Advice is very much wanted.

I just want this year, to which I looked forward to for so long, to end so I can go and study with the ability to just isolate. I didn’t feel this frustrated since before the Abitur and I worry about my performance breaking under the pressure. I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention, I’m sorry.

Parents
  • I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention,

    No, no, absolutely not a big pity-party and definitely no need to say you are sorry. 

    You are experiencing an unexpectedly hostile work environment. 

    That is not acceptable and it is not your fault to not have expected such appalling conduct. 

    You are not being naïve at all - it really should not be that type of behaviour experienced in the workplace. 

    By the way: the issue about people spiking the person's coffee with paprika spice is dangerous - as some people may have an allergy to paprika.

    Because I understood that you are not based in the UK (you mentioned your "A" Level equivalent - the Abitur); we shall all here in our community need to be thoughtful about some slightly more generic constructive suggestions to support you (as it would not be so helpful for you if we all start recommending UK legislation and organisations).

    I will keep the reply brief for now (and think further about the challenge of the situation you are facing).  I just was keen for you to know: you are correct in expecting so much better behaviour in the workplace.

Reply
  • I know this sounds like a big pity-party and while that’s not my intention,

    No, no, absolutely not a big pity-party and definitely no need to say you are sorry. 

    You are experiencing an unexpectedly hostile work environment. 

    That is not acceptable and it is not your fault to not have expected such appalling conduct. 

    You are not being naïve at all - it really should not be that type of behaviour experienced in the workplace. 

    By the way: the issue about people spiking the person's coffee with paprika spice is dangerous - as some people may have an allergy to paprika.

    Because I understood that you are not based in the UK (you mentioned your "A" Level equivalent - the Abitur); we shall all here in our community need to be thoughtful about some slightly more generic constructive suggestions to support you (as it would not be so helpful for you if we all start recommending UK legislation and organisations).

    I will keep the reply brief for now (and think further about the challenge of the situation you are facing).  I just was keen for you to know: you are correct in expecting so much better behaviour in the workplace.

Children
  • Thanks! Hearing that already makes a difference. Everyone just keeps telling me that “This is normal in the health care industry” and “Everyone gets talked about behind their back, it’s normal, so just suck it up and just expect to be gossiped about anytime”.

    I am not planning on filing anything formal since I’ll only have to stay there for a year and have had no problems yet (yes it’s egocentric, but I’ve made this mistake one too many times), but maybe there’s someone with advice on how to keep attention away and on how to act to avoid seeming too apathic and weird while also keeping your head down. Never thought I’d say that, but right now I’m just trying to figure out how to handle myself before thinking about how to do something against this behaviour.