Hi andi  I hope that you are feeling better now. :-)

I'd like to pass on a tip if it's OK to do so?

After a long time I have eventually found "bubble meditation" helps me in relation to getting "stuck" with thoughts and feelings that can be associated with burnout and meltdown.

The trick learnt by observing one's thoughts as if they are separate and floating until they burst allows one to not get so caught up in thinking about what one is thinking if that makes sense?

Initially one can get a bit caught up with "perseveration" which can be a bit like the evil twin of perseverance in my experience of doing it.

Ultimately events and experiences and thoughts can become a bit less of a personal burden by practicing it. 

Best Wishes 

Professor Precise-a-bug said:

I was about to suggest you could be a lot more sympathetic.. Then I realised we are  autistic on here. We say it is it is without sugar coating anything.

I am a bit blunt I admit, but I prefer to tell it direct so there is no confusion.

Some people do post just wanting to vent and I'm getting better at spotting these, and mostly letting others answer if the want to.

Where people want to vent but then ask questions and get annoyed when I answer - I don't think I can spot these even after years of practice.

It's tough being an autist and trying to be helpful...

I have had a couple of emotional meltdowns over the past fie years that have caused permanent and serious damage. Completely loosing all control of my emotions I didn't do anything physical but I said some very unwise and hurtful things. 

I sympathise 

Lian

I was about to suggest you could be a lot more sympathetic.. Then I realised we are  autistic on here. We say it is it is without sugar coating anything.

A lesson learned...  Life is fun....

Aww I hope you have such a lovely holiday! I’m going away with my dad next week so I’m finally getting a holiday I’ve craved for 6 years lol! 

andi said:

I try and do 2 hours an evening. But my evenings are very tight, I get in at around 5:15 due to busses (I’m saving up for a car) except Mondays when I get in at 7 (I’m with my youth worker) then I need to make tea, shower, then revise for a bit by then it’s 9:30. Then I need to do my evening routine which takes about half an hour. Then I head to bed but i struggle to fall asleep till around 11:30 then it’s 6am and up again. Once my studies are done I’ll be able to free up my evenings 

This gives 4 days a week when you could get in at 5.15, make tea of something simple (maybe use the weekends to prep a batch of roast veg that you can just heat up with a main dish), so a max of an hour to prep, eat and clean up, 30 mins for a shower and that takes you to 6.45pm.

If studying during the week causes extra stress then do it at weekends intead. That gives loads of time to decompress, sleep better and be in a much better head space for studying on the weekend.

The unpacking can probably be done in an hour or two at the weekend to get everything into its new place and the job complete - one less stress hanging about and any small stresses in finding things now sorted.

This is just a thought experiment though - you will often find that you end up creating hurdles to changing routine because change is hard. Sometimes stepping back, completely rebuilding it from the ground up with an outsiders input and you can find a lot more can be done in less time.

These are just my thoughts on it though - you are the person who has to make all the decisions.

Thank you for your kind words, I needed that, I will deffo have a look. Thank you 

I try but because Im struggling with it I feel like i dont really have time to wind down 

Thank you for your kind words. I’m going on holiday with my aunt next week so I’m very excited about that. Once my studies are done I can get back to writing my book! 

Iain said:

You failed to plan ahead and take care of the housework to make sure you had clothes to wear. Learning to be more systematic around this will make this go away

I ended up going on a last minute work trip the day before I intended on staying home that day but when the opportunity come up to do better at your role when you’re new (and been someone’s gone round saying you can’t do it well) you take the opportunity, I thought I had washed those particular trousers already turns out I didn’t and had to wear a skirt 

Iain said:

Misplacing footwear was the cause here - get into the habit of being more systematic in keeping things in their right place helps a lot.

I moved recently and a lot of uncommon things are still in bags as I don’t have a home for them yet (Wellies weren’t in my common rotation of footwear at the time) and i didn’t have time to go hunting round my flat for them

Iain said:

Creating a routine for this helps keep the frustration levels lower - schedule it for after you have eaten and reward yourself for completing the time with some TV time / glass of wine or whatever makes you feel good.

When you hit a subject you struggle with then reach out to someone who can help. see if they can explain it in a way you can understand. Don't dwelll on the problem subjects but cover everything you do "get" and come back to the bits you don't get at the end.

I try and do 2 hours an evening. But my evenings are very tight, I get in at around 5:15 due to busses (I’m saving up for a car) except Mondays when I get in at 7 (I’m with my youth worker) then I need to make tea, shower, then revise for a bit by then it’s 9:30. Then I need to do my evening routine which takes about half an hour. Then I head to bed but i struggle to fall asleep till around 11:30 then it’s 6am and up again. Once my studies are done I’ll be able to free up my evenings 

Thank you 

Thank you, I think my problem is, is that I want to get it right so just keep pushing and pushing and don’t recognise when to stop so I crash!

When you're tired and stressed your thinking goes. I read years ago that it's 3 points of IQ for every hour of sleep deprivation. Not sure if that's true, but could be.

Stress is a big thing because it puts you under pressure. It puts you into fight/ flight mode, or closer to it, which reduces your thinking capacity.

Anyway, if you get stuck move on to something else, or put it to one side.

Relax, forget about it and look in the morning. It is surprising how often you can then just do it.

What you feel when you lose it is the surge of adrenaline and cortisol. It affects blood sugar levels. It takes a while for it to subside.

Try not to worry. Recognise when you are getting frustrated, then stand up and take a 5 or 10 mins break. Get some fresh air, stand in the garden. It breaks the cycle.

As (most) others have said, this seems to me like a textbook example of a meltdown. There’s no reason to blame or be critical of yourself for it.

Damojo said:

Not everyone experiences meltdowns the same way or with the same level of intensity.

With some further reading it looks line burnout and meltdowns are on their own spectrum:

https://embrace-autism.com/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/

Defining where burnout ends and meltdowns begin is an imprecise science.

I had thought meltdowns were when there was more of a loss of control but it looks like this is much more murky and it is nearly impossible to tell if you are having burnout and a tantrum related to this or if you are moving into meltdown.

Iain said:

I think you were suffering burnout rather than a meltdown

Burnout is less of an occasional event and more of a state of being, I would have thought. It's not something we'd be talking about in the past tense one day later.

If we are burned out, we are probably more likely to suffer meltdowns, but they're still meltdowns not burnouts.

Not everyone experiences meltdowns the same way or with the same level of intensity. Even the same person can experience meltdowns differently each time.

I think you were suffering burnout rather than a meltdown as you retained a significant degree of control over yourself. Meltdowns tend to leave you in a much more dissociated state.

There is something to be learned from looking back at the stressers for it however so I'll look at these:

andi said:

couldn’t find my normal work trousers they were in the washer so they weren’t clean.

You failed to plan ahead and take care of the housework to make sure you had clothes to wear. Learning to be more systematic around this will make this go away.

andi said:

I couldn’t find my wellies so I had to go in my normal trainers.

Misplacing footwear was the cause here - get into the habit of being more systematic in keeping things in their right place helps a lot.

andi said:

I have an exam soon and I’ve been trying to revise as much as I can but finding it incredibly difficult

Creating a routine for this helps keep the frustration levels lower - schedule it for after you have eaten and reward yourself for completing the time with some TV time / glass of wine or whatever makes you feel good.

When you hit a subject you struggle with then reach out to someone who can help. see if they can explain it in a way you can understand. Don't dwelll on the problem subjects but cover everything you do "get" and come back to the bits you don't get at the end.

With all this you can start to see that by paying attention to small details you can remove a lot of the bigger stress from your life.

Hi, andi.

It sounds like you had a pretty textbook meltdown (excuse the pun). So many small things kept adding up and up and your brain couldn't process them away quickly enough. You reached the point of total overwhelm and, well, things kicked off. I'd guess that the majority of people on this forum have been there before and understand what you've been through. It feels pretty horrible in the aftermath, but perhaps it helps to understand that this is not you being dramatic or a prima donna, it's just your hyper-wired brain doing its thing.

My ADHD makes work and study really difficult and I get really, really frustrated with myself. That can simmer away for days or even months and my stress level slowly rises and rises. Then, I'll either have enough of that or something small will happen suddenly (getting splashed with food is always a good one) and my brain will just explode. I might get "shouty" and storm off, or just withdraw with what feels like a panic attack. It's embarrassing and I always feel like such a big baby and so ashamed. I've found learning more about meltdowns helps me to understand what is happening at the time, and helps me to go a little easier on myself afterwards. That helps me to recover more quickly and not feel so bad about the whole thing.

Here are some resources I found helpful:

• https://embrace-autism.com/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/
• https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences
• https://reframingautism.org.au/all-about-autistic-meltdowns-a-guide-for-allies/

Take it easy. None of this is your fault.

Meltdown just frustrated or just being dramatic?

A meltdown due to being frustrated and over-stimulated, you're not being dramatic. I've been there and I understand how you feel.

Try to take regular breaks from studying to do something enjoyable and calming.

Hi there. I’m so sorry you have had such a bad day, I’ve been there often myself and it’s understandable why you feel the way you do! You aren’t being dramatic at all so please don’t worry about that. By the sounds of it you seem to be having a burnout due to exam stress and of course work and it sounds like it’s been one of those days where one bad thing happens after another, it’s worse when you feel bad as soon as you wake up and the more bad things happen throughout the day, the worse you will feel, forgive my weird analogy here but I describe it that it’s like a volcano waiting to erupt. As the bad things happen the lava in the volcano rises and this equation seems to have made that volcano erupt and the eruption represents the meltdown. Again so sorry for my weird analogy. What normally makes you feel better? Would doing something you enjoy help at all? You take it easy and look after yourself and rest. Good luck with your exam too!