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Meltdown just frustrated or just being dramatic?

andi

This could be silly for some but please be nice if I’m being dramatic fine but please don’t be mean I’m still figuring out how I feel a lot of the time and distinguishing different feelings. And this will probably be a long one so I can explain.
So I’ve a had a bad day to be honest. I was running late this morning, I woke up with my lip feeling like i had a ball kicked at it. Then couldn’t find my normal work trousers they were in the washer so they weren’t clean. So I had to wear skirt and tights. It was really raining outside but I couldn’t find my wellies so I had to go in my normal trainers. I got soaked and my umbrella was broken and my coat was dripping on to my skirt. Shoes socks tights and skirt drenched. Get to the crossing where my bus stop is bus sees me waiting to cross over I think great I’ve just made just as I get to the door he pulls away. Darn just missed it I’ll get the next one. Check the app it’s not coming neither is rhe next one… bus finally shows up. I get to work 5 minutes late. No big deal. Change my shoes put my heater on to dry my shoes and the rest of me. Go about my work day. Rather stressful. Blinked and it was home time and I felt like I had achieved nothing. Left work 30 minutes late. Get home 30 minutes later than normal. Go about my evening. I have an exam soon and I’ve been trying to revise as much as I can but finding it incredibly difficult and frustrating. So the event that triggered this question I was stuck on the same question for an hour trying the same equation getting different answers every time but none of the answers were correct I kept trying over and over and over until I snapped I lost it and essentially threw my things across the room and just lost control in a sense (I won’t go into detail). I started to calm down. I’ve had these little moments before and I’ve been fine after a little while but this one felt different. I had to remember to breathe and actually do it (not just on autopilot like physically had to make myself breathe I don’t know how to explain it) and my body felt so heavy and felt so tired all of a sudden. It was different and difficult. I think the frustration with the question was the final straw of the day. Anyway that’s my little rant I guess. 

Parents

  • I think you were suffering burnout rather than a meltdown as you retained a significant degree of control over yourself. Meltdowns tend to leave you in a much more dissociated state.

    There is something to be learned from looking back at the stressers for it however so I'll look at these:

    andi said:
    couldn’t find my normal work trousers they were in the washer so they weren’t clean.

    You failed to plan ahead and take care of the housework to make sure you had clothes to wear. Learning to be more systematic around this will make this go away.

    andi said:
    I couldn’t find my wellies so I had to go in my normal trainers.

    Misplacing footwear was the cause here - get into the habit of being more systematic in keeping things in their right place helps a lot.

    andi said:
    I have an exam soon and I’ve been trying to revise as much as I can but finding it incredibly difficult

    Creating a routine for this helps keep the frustration levels lower - schedule it for after you have eaten and reward yourself for completing the time with some TV time / glass of wine or whatever makes you feel good.

    When you hit a subject you struggle with then reach out to someone who can help. see if they can explain it in a way you can understand. Don't dwelll on the problem subjects but cover everything you do "get" and come back to the bits you don't get at the end.

    With all this you can start to see that by paying attention to small details you can remove a lot of the bigger stress from your life.

  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:
    You failed to plan ahead and take care of the housework to make sure you had clothes to wear. Learning to be more systematic around this will make this go away

    I ended up going on a last minute work trip the day before I intended on staying home that day but when the opportunity come up to do better at your role when you’re new (and been someone’s gone round saying you can’t do it well) you take the opportunity, I thought I had washed those particular trousers already turns out I didn’t and had to wear a skirt 

    Iain said:
    Misplacing footwear was the cause here - get into the habit of being more systematic in keeping things in their right place helps a lot.

    I moved recently and a lot of uncommon things are still in bags as I don’t have a home for them yet (Wellies weren’t in my common rotation of footwear at the time) and i didn’t have time to go hunting round my flat for them

    Iain said:

    Creating a routine for this helps keep the frustration levels lower - schedule it for after you have eaten and reward yourself for completing the time with some TV time / glass of wine or whatever makes you feel good.

    When you hit a subject you struggle with then reach out to someone who can help. see if they can explain it in a way you can understand. Don't dwelll on the problem subjects but cover everything you do "get" and come back to the bits you don't get at the end.

    I try and do 2 hours an evening. But my evenings are very tight, I get in at around 5:15 due to busses (I’m saving up for a car) except Mondays when I get in at 7 (I’m with my youth worker) then I need to make tea, shower, then revise for a bit by then it’s 9:30. Then I need to do my evening routine which takes about half an hour. Then I head to bed but i struggle to fall asleep till around 11:30 then it’s 6am and up again. Once my studies are done I’ll be able to free up my evenings 

Reply
  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:
    You failed to plan ahead and take care of the housework to make sure you had clothes to wear. Learning to be more systematic around this will make this go away

    I ended up going on a last minute work trip the day before I intended on staying home that day but when the opportunity come up to do better at your role when you’re new (and been someone’s gone round saying you can’t do it well) you take the opportunity, I thought I had washed those particular trousers already turns out I didn’t and had to wear a skirt 

    Iain said:
    Misplacing footwear was the cause here - get into the habit of being more systematic in keeping things in their right place helps a lot.

    I moved recently and a lot of uncommon things are still in bags as I don’t have a home for them yet (Wellies weren’t in my common rotation of footwear at the time) and i didn’t have time to go hunting round my flat for them

    Iain said:

    Creating a routine for this helps keep the frustration levels lower - schedule it for after you have eaten and reward yourself for completing the time with some TV time / glass of wine or whatever makes you feel good.

    When you hit a subject you struggle with then reach out to someone who can help. see if they can explain it in a way you can understand. Don't dwelll on the problem subjects but cover everything you do "get" and come back to the bits you don't get at the end.

    I try and do 2 hours an evening. But my evenings are very tight, I get in at around 5:15 due to busses (I’m saving up for a car) except Mondays when I get in at 7 (I’m with my youth worker) then I need to make tea, shower, then revise for a bit by then it’s 9:30. Then I need to do my evening routine which takes about half an hour. Then I head to bed but i struggle to fall asleep till around 11:30 then it’s 6am and up again. Once my studies are done I’ll be able to free up my evenings 

Children
  • in reply to andi
    andi said:
    I try and do 2 hours an evening. But my evenings are very tight, I get in at around 5:15 due to busses (I’m saving up for a car) except Mondays when I get in at 7 (I’m with my youth worker) then I need to make tea, shower, then revise for a bit by then it’s 9:30. Then I need to do my evening routine which takes about half an hour. Then I head to bed but i struggle to fall asleep till around 11:30 then it’s 6am and up again. Once my studies are done I’ll be able to free up my evenings 

    This gives 4 days a week when you could get in at 5.15, make tea of something simple (maybe use the weekends to prep a batch of roast veg that you can just heat up with a main dish), so a max of an hour to prep, eat and clean up, 30 mins for a shower and that takes you to 6.45pm.

    If studying during the week causes extra stress then do it at weekends intead. That gives loads of time to decompress, sleep better and be in a much better head space for studying on the weekend.

    The unpacking can probably be done in an hour or two at the weekend to get everything into its new place and the job complete - one less stress hanging about and any small stresses in finding things now sorted.

    This is just a thought experiment though - you will often find that you end up creating hurdles to changing routine because change is hard. Sometimes stepping back, completely rebuilding it from the ground up with an outsiders input and you can find a lot more can be done in less time.

    These are just my thoughts on it though - you are the person who has to make all the decisions.