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CBT experience went really bad :-(

Phased

I didn't receive the link for my 1st CBT session as promised so e-mailed and 'phoned and was promised it would arrive 3 days before

it didn't - no record in e-mail

no record of any invite in my "teams" for it being sent

so I contacted and alerted them to this and requested they send the appointment to my e-mail address

It was promised to be sent 15 minutes before

I replied and said send it to my e-mail address

it didn't arrive

eventually it is sent 3 minutes after the appointment started.

so I figure OK that's not a problem

meeting goes bad...  I reckon that I was trying to be too proactive - probably trying to take charge :-(

Eventually in the meeting I asked the therapist whether they had sent invite to someone else.

They responded by asking me whether I was accusing them of sending it to someone else.

I said no - I was asking them whether they had.  I explained that I needed to be able to trust them.

Asked then how many autistic people they had treated - they said in the hundreds.

At which point the therapist said that they were uncomfortable and they were terminating the consultation and would be contacting their manager about it.

What I would appear to have done is inadvertently upset someone (pretty obvious that I was doing so already by their reaction to my behaviour in my asking them what they understood about autism ( no clear indication to me that they understood concept of alexithymia and that autism constitutes a specific part of the spectrum and wanting to stick to their "script" e.g. not flexible to me ironically.)

Anyway I'm distressed reckon they are distressed.

Wnat next?

Ideas anyone please

Parents

  • There was obviously a break down of communication. There really is no excuse on the therapists part to not have sent you the link, reminding once is one thing but not repeatedly.

    It's difficult to judge from just reading one side of a story and not having witnessed it but I am surprised by the therapists reaction. They may not have in-depth autism knowledge but their entire job is to do with helping people with mental health difficulties so they should have an understanding that people with anxiety etc are likely to jump to conclusions and feel wronged etc whether they have autism or not. I feel like they could have dealt with this better with a little bit of unpicking. "What makes you ask that?" could have been a better response. You could have then explained your side and they could have explained theirs. You both would have then had a better understanding of how each other were feeling. They should have apologised as soon as the meeting started that you'd only just had the invitation. Your feelings about not having it are totally valid.

    I also don't see why it would be at all unreasonable to ask their experience with autism. That is very significant when it comes to CBT. If they were in fact that experienced with autism they would know that CBT needs to be adapted for autism and would talk you through the steps involved (don't know what they are myself if I'm honest). 

    Obviously there has to be a boundary between therapist and client and the therapist is entitled to stop the session if they feel they need to. But I'm struggling to see the need in this situation. You were merely asking for your needs to be met which is completely reasonable and also essential for therapy to be effective.

    I'm very sorry you had this experience.

    Reading the comments below I see you spoke with their manager and are going to have the opportunity to give your thoughts on the autism side to someone. I think this sounds very promising and I hope it goes well.

    Was anything decided on what was happening with you moving forward with your CBT? I think I'd be requesting a different therapist after that experience.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Thanks  yes another therapist - the one that teaches the therapists "in house" about autism and the manager simply put said "give it another go"...  I too hope it goes well :-)

Reply Children
  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    I agree, thanks.   another version of repetition has it that practice makes perfect.  Doing he same things over and over if the result is what one is aiming for makes sense (although one needs to monitor for drift and entropy...) and also consider from time to time of the possibility that there is a better way of doing it either thro iterative development or innovation.  As for the measures of success for CBT and autism - my experience is that most of the stressors experienced in life are situational - albeit if one has a strategy for the situation to not be so impactful this is beneficial .. this is more a behavioural approach - that one needs to bring that behaviour to mind cognitively if it is not what one does automatically/subconsciously.  hehe maybe what i'm after is behavioural cognitive therapy 

  • in reply to Phased

    CBT is very structured. I have done it before but I was fortunate to have a very nice therapist who although she admitted she was no autism specialist tried very hard to make it accessible to me. It sadly did not have much impact but did give me a positive experience of therapy.

    I think there can be 2 kinds of people when it comes to learning (a bit of a broad generalisation but oh well). There will be the person that as you say does the same things over and over expecting a different result - perhaps even thinks they know best. And there is the person that just needs their attention drawn to an issue. Once they're aware they will try hard to change the way they do it. Hopefully your therapist fits into the latter.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Hmmm... It takes a long time to learn - I once did biochemistry at uni and the person using the fume cupboard next to me had their equipment fall and they grabbed at a hot retort that fell from the rickety structure, ow!  - suitably bandaged they rebuilt the structure the same rickety way (oh and the supervisors let them...)    Maybe the 3rd time is the trick (if not mortally wounded first!)  Personally I was really poor at getting my head around remembering all the crazy formulae and stuff (it never "stuck") - my lab manual had things like "caution it is hot!! written in it...  Aptitude, desire and the right environment maybe help.  Yep change agreed to - to be fair to them I would find it hard to do their job with how they appeared to expect to do it and who knows how much choice they have about that...  :-)

  • in reply to Phased

    Hopefully the therapist has learnt and it will be much better but if there is any more issue I think you should definitely push to change.