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CBT experience went really bad :-(

Phased

I didn't receive the link for my 1st CBT session as promised so e-mailed and 'phoned and was promised it would arrive 3 days before

it didn't - no record in e-mail

no record of any invite in my "teams" for it being sent

so I contacted and alerted them to this and requested they send the appointment to my e-mail address

It was promised to be sent 15 minutes before

I replied and said send it to my e-mail address

it didn't arrive

eventually it is sent 3 minutes after the appointment started.

so I figure OK that's not a problem

meeting goes bad...  I reckon that I was trying to be too proactive - probably trying to take charge :-(

Eventually in the meeting I asked the therapist whether they had sent invite to someone else.

They responded by asking me whether I was accusing them of sending it to someone else.

I said no - I was asking them whether they had.  I explained that I needed to be able to trust them.

Asked then how many autistic people they had treated - they said in the hundreds.

At which point the therapist said that they were uncomfortable and they were terminating the consultation and would be contacting their manager about it.

What I would appear to have done is inadvertently upset someone (pretty obvious that I was doing so already by their reaction to my behaviour in my asking them what they understood about autism ( no clear indication to me that they understood concept of alexithymia and that autism constitutes a specific part of the spectrum and wanting to stick to their "script" e.g. not flexible to me ironically.)

Anyway I'm distressed reckon they are distressed.

Wnat next?

Ideas anyone please

Parents

  • There was obviously a break down of communication. There really is no excuse on the therapists part to not have sent you the link, reminding once is one thing but not repeatedly.

    It's difficult to judge from just reading one side of a story and not having witnessed it but I am surprised by the therapists reaction. They may not have in-depth autism knowledge but their entire job is to do with helping people with mental health difficulties so they should have an understanding that people with anxiety etc are likely to jump to conclusions and feel wronged etc whether they have autism or not. I feel like they could have dealt with this better with a little bit of unpicking. "What makes you ask that?" could have been a better response. You could have then explained your side and they could have explained theirs. You both would have then had a better understanding of how each other were feeling. They should have apologised as soon as the meeting started that you'd only just had the invitation. Your feelings about not having it are totally valid.

    I also don't see why it would be at all unreasonable to ask their experience with autism. That is very significant when it comes to CBT. If they were in fact that experienced with autism they would know that CBT needs to be adapted for autism and would talk you through the steps involved (don't know what they are myself if I'm honest). 

    Obviously there has to be a boundary between therapist and client and the therapist is entitled to stop the session if they feel they need to. But I'm struggling to see the need in this situation. You were merely asking for your needs to be met which is completely reasonable and also essential for therapy to be effective.

    I'm very sorry you had this experience.

    Reading the comments below I see you spoke with their manager and are going to have the opportunity to give your thoughts on the autism side to someone. I think this sounds very promising and I hope it goes well.

    Was anything decided on what was happening with you moving forward with your CBT? I think I'd be requesting a different therapist after that experience.

Reply

  • There was obviously a break down of communication. There really is no excuse on the therapists part to not have sent you the link, reminding once is one thing but not repeatedly.

    It's difficult to judge from just reading one side of a story and not having witnessed it but I am surprised by the therapists reaction. They may not have in-depth autism knowledge but their entire job is to do with helping people with mental health difficulties so they should have an understanding that people with anxiety etc are likely to jump to conclusions and feel wronged etc whether they have autism or not. I feel like they could have dealt with this better with a little bit of unpicking. "What makes you ask that?" could have been a better response. You could have then explained your side and they could have explained theirs. You both would have then had a better understanding of how each other were feeling. They should have apologised as soon as the meeting started that you'd only just had the invitation. Your feelings about not having it are totally valid.

    I also don't see why it would be at all unreasonable to ask their experience with autism. That is very significant when it comes to CBT. If they were in fact that experienced with autism they would know that CBT needs to be adapted for autism and would talk you through the steps involved (don't know what they are myself if I'm honest). 

    Obviously there has to be a boundary between therapist and client and the therapist is entitled to stop the session if they feel they need to. But I'm struggling to see the need in this situation. You were merely asking for your needs to be met which is completely reasonable and also essential for therapy to be effective.

    I'm very sorry you had this experience.

    Reading the comments below I see you spoke with their manager and are going to have the opportunity to give your thoughts on the autism side to someone. I think this sounds very promising and I hope it goes well.

    Was anything decided on what was happening with you moving forward with your CBT? I think I'd be requesting a different therapist after that experience.

Children