Seeking some help and advice as someone new to the online discussions.

Thanks DormouseAtRest_25 !

 I don't know how to handle this 

Was the thread to which Crystal made reference (to save you searching for it).

I'm sorry to hear too that the loneliness feels so acute lately.   I started a thread here called I don't know how to handle this about a friendship situation, and DormouseAtRest_25 wrote a very helpful post in reply about genuine friends compared with acquaintances and other people you might meet, which you might find helpful too, and there were other contributors who helped too.

Incase this helps you - I did find it a help, before meeting potential friends, to start thinking how I could begin initially by being a good friend to myself.    For example, by speaking kindly to myself when struggling, practising good physical and emotional self care and learning about healthy boundaries with myself and others.   There is a book by someone called  Nedra Glover Tawwab i started looking at called Set Boundaries, Find Peace.    I found the workbook for it helpful, and it can be bought on its own from online shops, although it doesn't specifically focus on autism.   

For me, learning more about boundaries really felt like an important part of the puzzle for how to relate better to people, but I still get stuck in different ways.   Also, some people make better progress by doing rather than studying a topic first.   Hope you are feeling okay today.

Welcome.

I wondered whether you knew about this organisation.

Maybe they do something in your area - or if you were willing to help new members there learn about improving their angling skills - perhaps volunteer.

https://www.tacklingminds.org/

I don't think I have seen them doing beach casting / sea angling.

I was thinking you already have both the gear and the idea - why not build upon that for a bit of a social scene where the banter is: a) likely to actually be of interest and b) you can play to your strengths.

Hi it’s nice to meet you too. I’m sorry to hear you feel the same way as me, right now it’s the most loneliest feeling ever. I really appreciate your reply and I will most definitely look into aspens and the local charity’s and have a look at it. Thank you! 

I use to have cahms and then had therapy but now I’m wanting and emailing places to get more support I need even trying find a job that may best suit me or opportunities to get more experience feeling less anxious, like trying new activities or even trying to give a helping hand but I’m always stuck overthinking and pushing things off, so I really do think talking to a specialist again would most definitely help for guidance. I also really appreciate the reply. Thank you! 

I hope so, I hope to be able to talk to more people and get out on this shell I feel stuck in. I appreciate the reply and support, and I will be considering the part time job I need to get on my feet. Thank you! 

To be honest fishing and playing football is one of the man things I like to do but yet have lack of energy and confidence to get up recently. And for the second question, I haven’t got much pressure from my whole family to get a job but my dad is very pushy and telling me I have to provide for myself my mum on the other hand is very supportive and helps me out and I do get income and do my best but it always don’t feel enough all the time. I really do appreciate this reply and I will take your advice in look into how I a can get over this curve, thank you! 

I am sorry that you are suffering. I would first ask you some brief questions:

1. What things do you like doing?

2. Do you have pressure to start working right now? Or perhaps have support either from family members or otherwise, that could give you sometime to think about it without pressure?

I think it is not uncommon for autistic people to feel lazy. It's not our fault. We see how difficult it is to overcome a world not made equal for all. At the moment, you are likely puzzled by that, and are doing your best to show others that you are trying.

It does not mean you can't flourish either. It simply means that finding good conditions may take a bit more effort, time, and some local support (besides other internet users; I mean support from people close to you, or professionals you can trust.)

Asking for advice and thinking about it is a good first step. But you will have to advocate for yourself as well, to know your needs, skills, and opportunities.

An interesting option could be either part-time jobs, or volunteering, where you can be more relaxed and get a feeling for what things are hard, and refine your thoughts afterwards. Another option could be to try helping a family member, assuming you consider it appropriate (and they do.)

Those are just some options. This will also require time to evaluate where to apply for, what is it that you can/want to do, and more.

Cheer up! You are not alone.

Laceymay18 said:

I just want to be able to related to someone and have a friend I don’t feel like I’m masking my self around them

Welcome, Laceymay18. You're certain to find many people here whom you can relate to and who can relate to you. You can leave your mask behind. Share as much or as little as you want.

On the job front, consider Iain's suggestion of a part-time job. Even something like stacking shelves in a supermarket a few hours a week could be a place to start. (You know how we like order and lining things up—labels facing out. ) Bring your NC headphones or ear defenders.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

Laceymay18 said:

I’m too scared to even sign up to a job because I’m trying to avoid socialising

Until you try you don't know how well you will cope.

You could try looking for jobs which have little social contact instead. Think gardener, forestry worker, truck driver etc.

Laceymay18 said:

I’ve not experienced half of the stuff the people my age

Think of this as a reason to catch up, not a negative but a motivator. Learn to drive, learn how to socialise, learn to manage your anxiety so you can do these things more safely, try some charity work, maybe get a part time job etc.

All these other people started out with no experience so you can think of yourself as being in the same state they were. They are not superhumans.

Do you have some sort of support system for working on your skills?

Hi Laceymay18 , nice to meet you  I'm older but can relate to what you've said.    I've been trying to find out information too.    I think the local council has information about what support there is locally, and there may be charities near you who offer support.   Also there is an organisation called Aspens.   I'm not sure how to post a link for them.   It's worth searching online, because I've seen more for young adults than I have for my age.   I think some people have a personal assistant or support worker visit them.   Maybe try searching autism local charity (or group).     Do keep posting here of course.   Someone who knows more might be able to reply.