Feeling so embarrassed

Thank you! Even the psychiatrists who diagnosed with autism and my other conditions and ruled out others etc said it’s ok to play my games and ignore the bullies. Just easier said than done unfortunately

That's a mean thing to say. You're  better off without that in your life.

Whatever brings you joy you should go with, other people don’t understand so they judge. This is often the case with people and their interests, even more so if they are seen as extreme or time consuming but if that’s what you enjoy then why not. As long as it’s not hurting anyone there shouldn’t be a problem with it. 

Exactly. And they can’t hate you or answer back at you! See my games and characters are a real very strong passion of mine and I believe being very strongly passionate about something  is an autistic trait so if I get insulted for gaming or certain characters I play it really stings and hurts and I feel so guilty for it. Not to mention how I get told I think I like them but I dont. Might get my Kirby plushie actually. Never be told old for toys if you ask me

That’s extremely hard to hear I am sure. The games and plushies are a reliable constant I suppose. Gaming is an escape, a way to control a little world at your finger tips, don’t have to speak to anyone unless they are an NPC. 

I guess if I’m honest having my games and plushies etc are more important than anything. They can never answer back at me unlike my mum. The amount of times she regrets not aborting me like I’ve been told that God knows how many times over last ten years

Fingers crossed you can both work it out, emotions run high sometimes and people just need to chill for a bit and all is well again. It’s always harder to think clearly when you are upset. Sleep is a great healer, it’ll do you good.

Thank you for replying! Yeah tho k I’ll actually watch some SpongeBob to cheer myself up as he’s always been a good distraction. It just upsets me because I was so close to my mum and I am worried I’ll lose her for good! I know embarrassing moments happen and I’ve been there so many times and well I have got over them I guess, I have been so embarrassed in many situations but I think I feel angry with myself for letting it happen. 

Evening! Thanks for replying to me! Think I will need a good sleep! Just so hard in this heat haha but sometimes even after sleep my mum won’t make up or forgive me and now I’m worried she’s finally going to cut me out her life. She’s threatened it before but this seems more real than ever and it was her who had upset me. Maybe I’ll be better in a year or so but I’m just so hurt because she was once my best friend who turned against me. 

Thank you for replying. I understand what you’re saying and not to be embarrassed, I think it’s because the neighbours don’t know me that well and I’m worried they will think I will cause all sorts of chaos. But one thing I can say is they are been much more caring that what my “family” have. Mum won’t even talk to me or reply to my emails or voice messages as she’s blocked me and my nan is angry with me for “upsetting” my mum when it’s the other way around. Me and mum were like best of friends but her narcissistic sister came and turned my mum against me and became narcissistic towards me herself. I’ve always hoped one day my loving mum would come back to me but now I’m worried she’s cutting me out for good! 

We can have a tendency to have an aversion to being perceived by people - not that people are actually often as interested in us as we imagine - it can be how we feel and work to dispell that sensation.

I have some super-cringe-worthy embarrassing moments in my history ...but I doubt many, if any, other people give them a second thought these days.  I have to remind myself it is as though I am missing the archive function enjoyed by other people.

Autismman's advice is seconded by me.

Why not choose a gentle TV programme you enjoy for an hour and then try and get an early night.  Rest is helpful, sleep is even better.

Evening Elfilis sleep on it, things are always better after a good nights sleep. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you are ok and that this will pass. Hypersensitivity regarding how others may see you is a right pain in the **** but that too shall pass. One thing I remember being told was to imagine myself in a years time, how would I feel then, it’s highly unlikely I’d still have such high levels of anxiety of a particular scenario. 

Turn it into a positive.

You now know people around you care.

You may find people will check you're ok. They may talk to you more. You might make new friend.

If they ask, don't shut down and try to be invisible, say  thank you for asking I appreciate your concern, I had some bad news. If you get friendly with one, you might want to offer more. People may be more supportive than you think.

Everyone has distressing times in their life. The other people won't know what happened, and you don't need to tell them. There is nothing to be ashamed about.

Don't be scared. You did nothing wrong. If it was your neighbour who had done it, what would you say to them?