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Any advice on how to keep and maintain conversation

Autismman

I’m bad at keeping conversations going and tend to mentally wander or start looking around me. It’s not that I ask because I intend to sharpen my social skills but I ask so that I do not appear quiet or uninterested. I feel bad knowing the other person is having to put all the work in and I can’t think of anything to say. My mind just goes blank and I really rely on them being able to keep igniting the fire before I put it out because of my lack of input. Then I become more self aware that I am not talking and have nothing to say which makes it awkward although it’s not so awkward for me as I don’t mind the silence and thinking time but for others I can not always say this is the case. Keeping a conversation alive is really not a natural ability of mine. So what’s the best way I can fake it till I make it? Thanks 

Parents Reply
  • in reply to Geeky Gothic Guy

    I can often do the same or I have little energy to perform and just nod or attempt a smile, this might be a little awkward if a reply is expected though. The flow of conversation means you are meant to back and fourth with each other while finding the social experience rewarding. It’s a bit like any subject or topic that I haven’t much interest in; I have no data to pull from the bank - empty. 

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    When I put these ideas into practice I just hope I don’t speak for the sake of speaking and do stay within the context of the conversation. Building up the courage to test this out in real life is the first hurdle. Of course I speak to people out there in the real world but I am not often the starter of the interaction. It’s going to feel very strange when I do though, I tend to avoid others where possible if I have to go out and don’t wish to engage in chitchat. I know that this isn’t helpful, this avoidance of others due to not working well with them but I do have to take some responsibility for myself and my future, 

  • in reply to Autismman
    Autismman said:
    It’s a bit like any subject or topic that I haven’t much interest in; I have no data to pull from the bank - empty.

    This is a common situation and the most effective strategy is to ask a few probing questions about it, but expect to have a bit of an info dump on the subject. 

    if you really don't want to know then changing subjects is the more accepted approach but expect this to cost you some credibility if it gets noticed

    Sometimes it is useful to experience the info dump as it reminds me on how others feel when I accidentaly do it to them.