• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 299 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

How do you know what you want?

Stuart333

I mentioned this to my psychotherapist and the consultant that did the assessment. I did not get an answer, but I don't think this is normal:

Especially when tired, I can get a bit emotional if I think of certain things. I'll then think I really want something. But I'll wake up in the morning and feel nothing and not care. Alcohol causes issues the next afternoon, causing more emotions.

I asked someone at work. I think normally when you calm down or wake up the next day you still have the emotions, but toned down. So you still know you are interested. It's like I have a threshold things have to reach to be noticeable. By which time they are ramped up quite high. 

Without consistent emotions I find it hard to know what to do. This also confuses other people 

I looked at an emotion wheel, and I think I know what all the things round the outside feels like, so I must have felt them at some time. Unless I iintellectualised it, but I don't think so.

I did the TAS-20 alexithymia quiz and got 66, which is interesting.  According to Wikipedia 50-85% of autistic people have alexithymia, compared to 10% of the general population.

Parents
  • Stuart333 said:
    Without consistent emotions I find it hard to know what to do

    Alcohol acts to lower your natural inhbitions and can enable the emotions to be more accessible, but it also acts as a depressant which will often put a negative perspectiive on this, plus it can also reduce your ability to control impulses so you can act on the feelings without thinking things through properly.

    It would be wise to avoid stimulants and depressants while working on your emotions I think, so greatly reduce alcohol, caffaine, sugars, nicotine etc

    Your psychotherapist should be able to help you with building the connections with your emotions using the tools like the emotions wheel and others to build your confidence in what you are feeling.

    It can be a frustrating and challenging process, especially if you don't like change but I found it made me a lot more self confident and feeling a more complete person as a result of doing so.

  • in reply to Iain

    I don't have any nicotine, no sugary drinks, snacks or foods, I don't have sugar in tea, minimal caffeine, and alcohol is not excessive. I only mentioned it as it is interesting the main effect is after it has left my system.

    I don't feel that much most of the time, just neutral. That's why I said it's like there is a filter and the setting is too high.

    My issue is almost like which one is the real me. The normal flat one, or the tired emotional one. Tiredness does not always do it. 

    Is the tiredness lowering the filter so I feel the real me, i.e.i can't intellectualise and mask stuff, or is it creating stuff that is not real. Or is it a trauma or some other response, or some manifestation of alexithymia, or some kind of schizophrenia. I 

    In most of the therapy sessions I intellectualised everything and showed almost no emotion. I wanted to but I couldn't. They were always in the morning and the feelings come later in the day. It's strange. Same in the assessment meetings. One of the questions when I first sought a psychologist was why are my emotions battened down so tight.

    I don't know the answer. I'm not sure how to tell.

    I just wondered if anyone else felt anything similar, even if not it might be interesting.

    This is partly why I am drifting. It could all be hormonal too, we'll see what the blood tests show. Nervous system disregulation affects your endocrine system..

  • in reply to Stuart333
    Stuart333 said:
    My issue is almost like which one is the real me. The normal flat one, or the tired emotional one.

    It helps to realise that they are ALL you. 

    There is no "real" you, just a brain that is influenced by environment, chemicals (food / drink / drugs) and the mental stimulations caused by its own state.

    It is perfectly normal for a person to become a grump when they are hungry, a bit of an ogre when angry, a social butterfly when tipsy or a passionate lover when encouraged. 

    These are all the same person and each situation is showing facets of that core persona illuminated by the influences at the time.

    Mental health issues can also be strong influencers here, especially bipolar for example which can result in the person appearing radically different depending on how their brain is operating on that day.

    Stuart333 said:
    In most of the therapy sessions I intellectualised everything and showed almost no emotion.

    Have you considered making some sessions all about emotions? Talk to the therapist about this if you want as it can be a great way to help you focus on the feelings rather than the intellectual aspects. Expect it to be uncomfortable to start with but I understand it is well worth sticking the course. It worked very well for me.

    Once you can be in better contact with emotions then you start to see the influence these have on your behaviours and can make much better informed decisions with this understanding. It can also make you feel much more complete as a person.

    These are just my thoughts, you do what is right for you.

  • in reply to Iain

    Additional therapy for my emotions is recommended on my assessment report. I was having a break as the last 7 months have been quite a journey.

Reply Children
No Data