For the best

I’m not sure you can judge your own attractiveness unless you know you are not attracted to yourself? If it were possible?. A friend of mine doesn’t want kids, doesn’t want to live with his partner and doesn’t want her around all the time but still wants a relationship, I think he’s personally missing the give and take of a relationship and wishes for absolutes which do not exist. 

After decades with myself I want a divorce .

Also I'm maybe too self concerned to care for anyone else long term.

Seems like you could benefit from finding someone similar to yourself who likes to be occupied with the things they enjoy but is also open to the idea of a relationship on whatever terms that may be. I think not being with someone in a romantic way for some time can have a huge impact on your confidence and ability to see life through clearer lens’s. Even feeling disconnected from main stream society comes with the same side effects, lack of confidence, self doubt. You are still young, there’s still time to write a new chapter in your book of life. 

As long as you are straight up about your needs then that’s a good place to start with the person who are interested in. You have confidence in what you need from life so take it from there. 

now you put it like that, that's really what I want, and disconnection has been a dominant theme for many years, and it's become such a physical and mental drain to shoulder for so long.

now you put it like that, that's really what I want, and disconnection has been a dominant theme for many years, and it's become such a physical and mental drain to shoulder for so long.

As long as you are straight up about your needs then that’s a good place to start with the person who are interested in. You have confidence in what you need from life so take it from there.